My name is Jen. I am the mom of four daughters, the wife of a software engineer, and a SharePoint Bitch working for The Man in San Antonio, Texas. Want to know more about me than you probably should? Visit About Jen.
I haven’t written in a while and I have been bottling it up and saving it for a glorious Fuck You to the world. First off, work has been absolutely insane and while I could probably write a TDFU about that everyday for a year, I will refrain because really, work is always insane no matter who you work for or what you do for most people. I am blessed with a good job and supportive management, more than many folks have so I am thankful there.
On to the show…
Crazed Sex Poodle, are you fucking kidding me? Imagine my surprise that the world’s most arrogant self centered ass is a fucking predatory male! Imagine my surprise that the man who was vice president to the slimiest bastard to ever hold office tries to get a “happy ending massage” from a legitimate massage therapist. Fucking please… Really? I will admit the whole crazed sex poodle thing conjures images of Extreme Poodle on TLC and made me giggle. Am I shocked this comes days after the announcement of the break up of the couple that inspired Love Story? Oh for fuck’s sake. No one with that much pent up hostility and unrequited ambition could be anything other than a fucking Crazed Sex Poodle. You know the worst part of this whole thing? Not that he obviously likes to treat massage therapists as hookers, but that I have to fucking see his swollen fucking head on the news again. I bet Bill Clinton is laughing his ass off as he hears about this while sandwiched between two middled aged bleach blonde hair dressers who call him “Big Daddy.” Fuck you, Al and you can stick that in your “Lock Box” and save it for a rainy day.
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Sir Paul McCartney is a douche. Yeah, that is not news, but I really gotta acknowledge this particular achievement in douchebaggery by the most overrated musician of all time and enviroweenie: Talking about the oil spill insanity…
Paul, sweetie… you are a fucking idiot. Just for opening your mouth you should have to pay Heather another 10 million dollars. To make it even better he uses his brilliant political mind and unquestionable analysis of the situation to profess..
“I don’t accept the criticism of Barack over the oil spill.” ”I think he’s been great. It’s tough if we Brits whinge that he’s whingeing at us. Tough, then don’t spill oil.”
He doesn’t accept it! Well that is reason enough for me to believe him. Who am I to doubt the judgement of the genius who gave us lyrics so insightful and powerful as, “Good day Sunshine, Good Day Sunshine, Good Day Sunshine” repeat 1 million times and the deeply thought provoking and highly emotional “She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeahShe loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah;She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah”...
This man is a goddamn genius. An intellect of such astounding depth that I am feeling pretty bad about myself for thinking that not only is Barak Obama the biggest bumbling fucking idiot on the planet but that Sir Paul is a pathetic vegan loving piece of shit. What is wrong with me? Oh yeah, I have a fucking brain in my head and said head is not lodged in my ass. Fuck you, Paul. Go count your money or just go shut up and color. Just stop fucking talking.
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OMG! You mean Obama might fucking be corrupt? Say it isn’t fucking so!!! Yeah, Blagodouche’s trial is getting ugly. I hope their is a sex tape and a cocaine tape and a donkey in Tijuana tape and everything else. Congratulations again to the citizens of the USA who voted Prince Fuknut into office. I am so fucking impressed with both the Hope and the Change going on. If your hope was to have the biggest moron possible in charge of the world, you are a fucking winner. If you the change you were after is what is left after you pay taxes then you are on a fucking streak. Head to Vegas, mother fuckers. Fuck you, Fuck you, and Fuck you again voting public for giving us four years of global humiliation and oh yeah… the worst possible economic future for our children. Go Team!!!
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Whooping Cough Epidemic in California should scare the shit out of everyone. The article basically blames parents for not vaccinating their kids. Valid point. I was talking about this just the other day. This particular disease is not to be played with. A parent who chooses not to vaccinate their kiddos for pertussis is just asking to plan a funeral because the shit is virulent and horrible. Yeah it is California, home of the all natural green loving tree hugging organic food gives me an orgasm crowd, but they need to get over themselves. If they do not want to vaccinate their healthy little offspring then they need to keep them out of public schools.
That said, there is absolutely NO mention of the off the chart number of illegal immigrants who are in California with their many children who have probably never scene a vaccine. Could it be that allowing a huge number of people to swarm into a country without any regulation and become a part of the community without having to do pesky things like get vaccinated you might have an issue with this sort of stuff? Correct me if i am on the wrong path here, but it just seems like it might possibly have something to do with this as much as parents too stupid to have their kids vaccinated. Fucking stupid shit.
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Finally a few observations that need mentioning:
1. Nancy Pelosi is still a useless dried up old cunt
2. Obama is a wanker
3. There isn’t a fucking thing to watch on TV and i am pissed off
4. I really need to buy a new pair of shoes.
– The Demure One
I haven’t done a list in a while. I do love me a good list
A bunch of things that are on my mind:
1. Hass Avocados are one of God’s perfect creations; cut in half and get a spoon. Doesn’t even need salt if it is just ripe enough.
2. World cup soccer makes me happy. I am not a huge soccer fan per se, but I am a serious fan of soccer thighs. I am certain that the current match usa vs england has the highest “hip thingie” saturation of any sporting event in history. Dear god there are some bangin’ hot men on the field and more than one shaved head.
3. Obama is a fucking wanker. Read a headline at Hotair says something about not being able to suck up the BP oil spill with a straw. I would argue he probably has mad straw skills from his cocaine days. just sayin’
4. I am having a tomato phase. I bought a pack of yellow cherry tomatoes. Mmmm like candy.
5. The expendables looks like fun. I know it will probably suck, but really it looks like a perfect way to spend 2 hours of my day.
One of the trailers has Arnold and Bruce in it and with the cast added in the only thing missing is Jesse Ventura.
6. My kids are out of town and I have no idea what to do with myself.
7. The fact I have over 300 books on my kindle means I need some sort of 12 step program I think.
8. I am not a fan of the new Roku netflix interface. I like the idea but I am just not liking the reality of it.
9. No, I do not think your EVO is The Shit. I own an iPhone. Puhleaze.
Ten years ago today I had my Gillybean. She is without a doubt the most hilarious child I have ever been around. She has a sense of humor that is both very dry and extremely literal. She is the only one of my kids who doesn’t have a perpetual case of the “I wants”. When asked what she wanted for her birthday she shrugs and says, “Clothes would be good but I have everything I want.”
I have worried over her health for most of her life but she really is a trooper. I have cried tears of joy, pain, fear, and pride over this baby girl and every one of them has made her more precious to me than I can ever explain. A friend is about to have his first child and says he worries about not having a healthy baby. I said to him, it doesn’t matter. You love them, pray hard, and do whatever it takes to get them fixed. Then you start all over again if you need to. You will be strong enough because they need you to be strong enough. She has made me a better mother, a better woman, and according to a few doctors and nurses the most difficult and demanding bitch on the planet, but that is my job.
She is fearless and totally unique. She is blessed with the ability to laugh at herself and that is something most people never managed to achieve. She doesn’t have a self conscious bone in her body and revels in acting like a fool. What more could I ask for? I am well and truly blessed.
Happy birthday, Mamita! I love you so very very much.
2 month old only time she has ever been pudgy!
My favorite pic of No. 2 and No. 3! Look at all those curls!
They were born 19 months apart and looked exactly alike
Big Brown Eyes
She is a good big sister even though baby sister is about as big as she is in this picture.
Several briefings this week for myself and for my leadership which means Sarah and I are prepping and doing… you guessed it… PowerPoint slides.
I have to chase down medical records and MRI results this week for Daughter No. 3 who has an appointment Friday in Houston with a new GI specialist who will hopefully tell me something beyond:
“She has a stricture in her right biliary tree but it is draining. Just take her home and watch her. If she doubles over in pain again or turns yellow bring her back.”
Really? Well call me crazy, but I would like to hear a 2nd doctor give me that treatment plan before I go home and wait for her to turn yellow. If she has a stricture it will eventually have to be stinted and I would like to get her into Texas Children’s in Houston before that has to occur.
I have done my last GI procedure in this town if i can help it. The GI lab folks at North Central Baptist were top notch, but the moment we went into the pedi ward it was like entering the Ghetto. Disgusting rooms which had moldy bathrooms and nurses with their heads lodged firmly up their asses. We only ended up there because there was a mass exodus from Methodist Texas Children’s in their GI lab so my doc doesn’t do surgery there anymore due to inexperienced staff causing their instances of post-op pancreatitis to reach about 100%. That said, the wards are Methodist Children’s are AMAZING and the nurses are the best ever.
Hopefully they will have another course of action with regard to her treatment and I am certain I am going to end up back there for more tests because they always want “more tests”. I just need to feel comfortable all is being done for that can be. Twenty grams of fat a day really blows.
On that note, there is good news on the birthday cake quest for a kid limited to 20grams of fat a day or less. After hours scouring google and recipe sites I have found you can take a Betty Crocker White or Yellow Cake mix, which has 1.5 grams of fat per serving (2 cupcakes) in the dry mix, and mix it with a 12 oz can of diet sprite or ginger ale baking as directed and get amazingly great cupcakes that are so moist you do not even need icing. I do have plans for icing though; italian meringue has no fat and neither does fat free extra creamy coolwhip mixed with chocolate syrup! Go me! I even managed to… wait for it… BAKE THE FUCKING CUPCAKES SUCCESSFULLY!
Yes you read it correctly… I successfully baked something. Miracles never cease.
PowerPoint warps reality. The concept and practice of degrading a complex process or initiative into three bullets and a moving magical graphic defies logic.
PowerPoint is the symbol for this country’s pathological need to boil things down to a third grade level and catering to the ADHD mentality. Life, the universe, and reality is not meant to be rendered into bullet points! The devil is in the details…
Looks like the drapes and part of the disco ball reclaimed from a Studio 54 garage sale. She best watch out, Barry is gonna start thinking about his coke days and ask to snort a line off her ass at the worst possible moment.
Fuck Fan on 
Suad on 
SB Smith on 
SweetShelly on 
