There are certain things that really make me laugh and certain people that really make me laugh. Then there is Never. Never is probably the most spontaneously funny and genuinely sincere young man i know. He always manages to amuse me and entertain me even when I have the blahs. Below are a few recent exchanges with him. I first started chatting with Never on dalnet when I kept taunting him on his need for a new nick every five minutes. I would list the known nicks but then we would be here all day. Just note that for purposes of this entry: laserhobo = Never.

laserhobo:How are you?

JenDiva1969:i am fine. Singing with my radio, thats it

laserhobo:Bleh. You should be out fighting crime with your super-powers!

JenDiva1969:will you be my sidekick? You can ride in the side car and toss jujubees at pedestrians

laserhobo:Yes! You’ll be Terrifying Indestructible Woman with Lasers and I’ll be Humorous Ineffectual Boy!

JenDiva1969:hahahahahhaha

laserhobo:My battle cry will be “Ummm, get ‘em, Jennifer!”

JenDiva1969:i must post that somewhere

laserhobo:”Shut the fuck up, you idiot, that’s my real name and this is my secret identity!” “Oh, fuck. I did it again. Looks like they all have to die!” “We’ll just blame it on Scientologists like we always do.”

JenDiva1969:yes!!!

I am a worthless bitch when it comes to writing in this log on a regular basis.

Well..it has happened yet again. A shitty movie. HOWEVER..this one is worse than Asoka ,the Indian movie from hell. This one came highly recommended by someone i respect and like quite a lot. However…she is obviously suffering from some form of German brain fever if she liked this movie.

The movie in question is…”The Princess and the Warrior.” However, for my purposes here I will call it “Steaming Pile of Shit.” First, this is done by the same filmaker who did, Run Lola Run..which i did enjoy. This has the same actress in the lead, Franka something, she is a good actress. And the guy, dunno his name but he was very hot..he was good as well. Oddly, it was not the acting that made this movie aweful, it was the story or lack of a focused theme, plot, and freaking POINT!

Simone “Sissi” the heroine, or whatever she is, is a nurse working in the looney bin. It is a typical cinematic looney bin, naked fat lady with too much body hair, homicidal maniac who hears voices, a smarmy bipolar freak with his fly always down with an obsessive lust for her and various other garden variety wackjobs. There is also the other nurses and staff as well as the stereotypically inept “psychotherapist” who talks in monotones and seems unmoved by the antics of his patients.

There is the get aquainted with the main character montage of sorts. Sissi with one patient holding ice to her neck so he can feel the goosebumps on her arm..he is blind and a bit slow in the head i think. Nonetheless she does this and he feels her prickly arm..then she puts it on his neck…scene is shot in a sort of weird sequence of super closeups of her neck, hands, and arms with that weird “psychosexual” undertone that most foreign films try to evoke….some not too well.

i did it yet again..i rented an Indian film. I am drawn to them like some sort of moth to the flame. This one was particularly bizarre. It is called Asoka and from what i gathered it is based on actual people and events though great creative license was taken in its construction. Which is all fine with me because i do not know this emporer or his history so i do not sit there and say…INACCURATE!

It starts out in your typical cheese quality film and less than great set design etc. But i can overlook that..I mean, I have liked some films in my time that started out really cheesy, so I continued.

In short..the show is about a boy, a stepson to an emporer and he has many brothers…stepbrothers. Your typical battle for “heir to the throne” gets underway. This guy, Asoka is brave and handsome and sort of sexy in a bizarre way. That is off point…he becomes a great general..leading the armies against enemies etc…gains the favor of the people etc cuz he has the power…this is all going ok. UNTIL..

He typically is forced out in an act of sacrifice he goes off to make his mother happy…giving up his claim to he throne etc. That is not the worst part…it happens sometime later as he is now a traveler and goes from town to town trying to be witty and charming etc..never fitting in, because…you know..he is a PRINCE! One day he is doing something walking about and he sees this girl doing some freakin half ass “kata” martial arts deal..but she sux cuz well she is obviously not michelle yeoh. Then BOOM…it is a MUSICAL NUMBER!

I really hate making decisions. I mean i am totally capable..i just hate doing it. I would like to hire someone to make the little decisions in life that are annoying. I would have them decide what the family will eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’ll gladly cook it! I just really get worn out trying to decide what to cook. An impartial 3rd party might just say..to hell with what this one and that one do and do not like…we are having MEATLOAF!!! Then I could refer all complaints to the Official Decision Maker and gleefully go about my own business.

I could bring my ODM to the grocery store with me so I do not have to spent the half an hour it takes to decipher the lable and find just PLAIN ranch dressing. Not bacon ranch…not garlic ranch… not fat free ranch or dijon ranch… PLAIN JANE RANCH. Then the ODM can move onto the femme products aisle and decipher the secret code of peri-pads and tampons. I saw a commercial today and am THRILLED to announce the addition of “plus size pads” for women size 14+ to the list of 90 million other special interest RAGS. How about pads for women tired of making freaking choices about pads. Maybe it could be in a bright yellow bag with flashing-strobe-chaser lights so that i can easily pick them out! And every time it is something different! Like a grab bag of femme products!

Well i will now make my official decision for the day and end this entry about nothing:)

-Jen