How To Make Air Babies: Advanced Edition…

By jen

Ok, this is wrong on so many levels and frankly I am not sure where to begin. How about the link to prove I am not making this up. “More Joy: An Advanced Guide to Solo Sex.”

Let’s start with the fact this obviously a sequel of sorts. There wasn’t enough pages in the first book to cover all the many facets of whacking off. He seems to have Solo Sex a technique guide and then of course The Joy of Solo Sex must be the beginners guide. I was reading the reviews on this book and one says:

He quotes at length from readers of his newsletter about their unabashed enthusiasm for self-pleasuring. Not reserved for gay men, unmarried men, and horny teenagers, the truth is out that all men masturbate, a lot more often than was previously thought!

I am sorry, but is there someone on this planet who was under the assumption male masturbation was a rarity? This guy made money writing this book. I am so in the wrong business…

All manner of techniques are discussed, safe, and questionable. He (Dr. Litten) brings up the curiosity that all men seem to have about other men’s genitals and self-pleasuring practices, and how sharing masturbation with a friend does not make one gay.

Ok, wow. I learn something new everyday about men. Is this true? Do you guys sit around and wonder about your co-worker’s goodie bag? I feel quite safe in stating women do not share this curiosity about fellow women. I think I can go out on a limb here and say that women do not sit around all day and ponder the vagina of their friends or coworkers. I think we sort of lack the general “curiosity” about a hoohah if it is not our own. I could be wrong, I am sure you will let me know if I am.

The book is directed toward men, but not just to gay men. Dr. Litten coins the term “solosexual” for those who truly prefer themselves to a partner, saying it is only a matter of degree since most people experience the majority of their orgasms from masturbation anyway.

Solosexual? Excellent. Why bother socializing when you can stay at home with a bottle of lube and some candlelight (think 40 Year Old Virgin)?

I think this Litten guy must be the male response to Nancy Friday and her series of self help books about sex. Basically she collected a bunch of women’s fantasies and put them in book form. Some truly disturbing shit in the one book I browsed through of hers after seeing her on some TV show years ago. I suppose it is only fair the men have their little niche as well. I have always been amused by these books which are porn stories (not erotica, there is nothing literary about this stuff) wrapped in dimestore psycho babble and sold as self improvement.

Anyway, stumbled across this in some silly article somewhere off Digg which I cannot remember, sorry about that. Thought I would share it with you folks, in case any of your need tip and tricks on making Air Babies. I’m just sayin’.

Update: Found the link! Yay! This is amusing stuff. Luke McKinney on Cracked

Particularly insightful comments:

Dr. Litten achieves the impossible halfway through his own book and fucks up masturbation (we’re fairly sure fucks up masturbation is a fetish, but we’re too terrified to Google it) with the chapter “Sharing Solos.”

I am have long ago learned there are many strings of words you should fear googling. This is going on my list, thanks for the tip.

We’re not sure exactly how repressed the author is or how cruelly his burly father crushed his dreams of being a dancer, but once you’ve got two men naked, having handsex together we’ve got a different word for that. The ability to even write the phrase “sharing solos” and not see a problem indicates a level of psychotic self-denial that would make Nixon look like a weeping Oprah guest. The progression from “play with yourself” to “play with yourself and other naked men” puts you close to the most important naked-man-based revelation since

I love a good turn of phrase… but it gets better.

All of which is fine for Dr. Litten himself, but no use to the poor soul who’s on his second “romance DIY” book and is expecting pages with titles like “Mongolian Thumb Twister” and “How to Make It Feel Like Someone Else!” to help pass the long, occasionally damp nights.

Note to self: Add Mongolian Thumb Twister to your “Never Google is list ASAP.”

Go read the article which is entitled “Five Books That Can Actually Make you Stupider”