My husband sent me this link. It is amusing.

My friend Bruce, the one who I once thought was basically me with a penis, has broken my heart today.  I am not sure there is any hope left in the world after our last conversation.  This guy is a man’s man.  Sports, hunting, conservative, great dad, devoted husband, all those delightful things.  So you will understand my devastation when I tell you how he spent his day…

He was scrap booking with his wife!   For fuck’s sake!  Is there no sanity left in the world?

I admit a certain pathological disdain for all things scrap book related.  I will probably piss off my three female readers when I say, “Scrap booking is fucking stupid.”  I am not talking about photo albums.  I am not talking about books detailing the life of your child; milestones, accomplishments etc.  I am talking about taking those time honored traditions and fucking putting fuu fuu paper with ribbons and little plastic sparkly thingies everywhere around them.  Ugh.

The industry is brilliant really.  Right up there with freakin’ pet day spas and doggie couture.  In fact it is exactly like those things.

Examples:  (I am going to be a bitch here… bear with me.)

Wtf is that?  Is there a child in there somewhere?  Probably, but who the fuck can tell because of all the fucking buttons and ribbons.  (I am actually hiving up at this point.)

What a fantastic picture of a beautiful child with her toy and blanket.  Imagine how amazing that would look if you could actually see the picture!  This would be stunning in a really nice leather bound or handmade paper book with pretty picture corners on black paper.  You would see those eyes that appear to be full of life.

I think there are actually some pictures in there somewhere.  The worst thing about all this god forsaken floof?  You cannot actually look at these things very often because they will fall apart if you handle them too much!

Dear God the amount of money you can drop doing this stuff!  Have a look at the OCD enabling suppliers!

You womenfolk want to do this?  Fine!  Have at it!  But for all that’s holy, leave the men out of it!  The idea of Bruce using that little clipper thingie that makes the corners round makes me itch.  The visual of this man using special fru fru scissors with changeable blades to get really neato edges on paper makes me want to set something on fire!

I can only sit here and hope that he did this for some sort of sexual compensation, but even then I am not sure the price was worth it.   The most horrible thing of all?  He said he had a good time doing it.

Ugh…

I am thinking about offering a reward for the return of Bruce’s balls.  Seriously, if I didn’t have such great affection for this man I would have been much harder on him.  For God’s sake, Bruce… next time just go shoe shopping with her and hold her purse while she tries on 80 pairs of the same shoe!  At least that way you are in possession of your balls, even if they are in their new home, HER PURSE!

P.S. to Womenfolk who scrapbook:  I really am not a total bitch, but you people are messing with my men, dammit.

P.P.S to Bruce:  You know I love you, shit head.  There is no end to the amount of shit you will hear about this.  I suggest you go kill a wild boar with your bare hands to redeem your man cred…

P.P.P.S. to Reader:  I invited Bruce to write a few things on this blog about 6 months ago.  I am thinking this might get him motivated to defend himself.  Maybe?

New poll shows Americans do not approve of the feds bailing out mortgage holders and disapprove even stronger on bailing out the banks who gave the loans. Amen.

If you are stupid enough to let a lender when he says you can afford a 300k house on your 80k a year income then you deserver what you get. If you are a bank and are stupid enough to bet on the housing market staying strong you are an even bigger bunch of idiots.

Fifty-three percent (53%) of Americans say that the federal government should not help out homeowners who borrowed more than they could afford. A Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey found that 29% disagreed and believed that federal action is appropriate. Seventeen percent (17%) are not sure.

There is even stronger opposition to federal help for banks that made bad loans. By a 4-to-1 margin (61% to 15%) Americans reject that approach to resolving the current mortgage crisis.

Whether it’s bailing out the banks or helping homeowners, Democrats are more supportive of federal action. Still, most Democrats (53%) oppose federal help for banks that made bad loans. Sixty-eight percent (68%) of Republicans are opposed along with 64% of those not affiliated with either major party.

via: Hot Air

Ryan Phillipe who just had a movie flop in spite of his rock hard abs and hip thingie thinks it is unforgivable that the war and soldiers have been relegated old news by the media. Article

Ryan Phillippe is urging the American media to put the Iraq War back on the front pages of newspapers and at the top of TV news shows because the soldiers have become forgotten men and women.

The actor, who plays a Iraq veteran in new movie Stop-Loss, admits the film has reawakened him to the atrocities in the Middle East, where thousands of U.S. troops are fighting a deadly battle.

Reawakened I tell you. A freakin’ epiphany if I have ever seen one. I am sure it has nothing at all to do with the resounding flop of his film.

“Five years in and it does seem like the war has made it’s way to the back pages of the newspapers. We’ve had some of the bloodiest months with the highest casualties and it’s almost like the war is going on in the background, and the public, to some degree, wants it that way, or wants to ignore it – out of sight out of mind. That bothers me.“

It isn’t the way most Americans want it, you fucktard, it is the way your cocksucking liberal media wants it. You haven’t heard anything in the media for weeks, hell since the surge. Why? Because it is working and success in Iraq is not what your ilk or the Messiah you are supporting wants anyone to know about.

The greatest thing that could possible happen to America, short of Barry O and HRC getting caught having vigorous sex with barnyard animals (the only thing that would probably sour Barry O’s followers) would be if all actors, directors, and these moron wannabe politically anointed in Hollywood would be rendered mute unless acting in a film/tv etc.

When we start culling the herd, we need to start in Hollywood.

Ok, this guy is a badass…

Not only do i have a new coffee pot, I have the coffee pot I have been wanting for a year, though not in the right color. Let me set the stage for you…

7:30am Jennifer gets out of bed at the sound of rugrats bickering and making way too much noise. She stumbles across the townhouse, throws open the door where all the rugrats are gathered making their horrible noises and she screams like an insane woman, threatening them all with bodily harm if they do not shush.

7:35am Jennifer goes to make a pot of coffee in an attempt to believe once again that all is right with the world. Jennifer loves coffee. Jennifer NEEDS coffee.

7:40am After cleaning the pot she pours in 8 cups of water as she does every morning. She looks at the gauge and it says 4 cups. Being that she hasn’t had her first cup of coffee, Jennifer thinks, “Ok, I must have only measured 4 cups” and puts 4 more cups in the pot.

7:40:35am Jennifer hears water dripping and notices her feet are getting wet.
7:41am Jennifer begins cursing like a sailor who just had his shore leave revoked.

7:45am After cleaning up the water she tries again and with God’s Most Perfect Coffee: Caribou French Roast. Jennifer is feeling optimistic that this water issue is just a freak event, The Coffee Gods would not smite her so.

7:55am Coffee is done and Jennifer walks over with her giant mug full of creamer and splenda, slightly shaking from intense yearning. She pours the coffee and blinks her eyes several times at the tea like color of her coffee.

7:55:30am Jennifer begins cursing like a sailor who just had his shore leave revoked AGAIN.

(more…)

“Plans for Al Gore to take the Democratic presidential nomination as the saviour of a bitterly divided party are being actively discussed by senior figures and aides to the former vice-president.”

via: Hot Air

If I have to endure another round of Gore Presidential Debate Appearances I will die of boredom. Maybe he will dust off the Lock Box.

Gotta love some Revisionists History on a Sunday Morning…

Hello my fellow Jen-lovers. Just a quick note to say hola and thank you to Jen for giving me an avenue to bleed my spleen. I’ll spare all of you the gory details of my life until I prove that I’m not an inept jackass when it comes to blogging. Should I prove to be half as good as Jen, then I’ll bore you with useless facts about teh Bruce.