American Idol: Final 12 Lennon McCartney Songbook
Spiffy digs this year. I am hoping drunk Paula makes an appearance. I am sort of meh about the Songbook. We will see.
Ryan needs to shut the fuck up. Seriously, he makes me itch. He is also wearing a freakin’ vested suit. I hate vested suits.
Syesha Mercado: This is the gal that keeps telling us she is an actress. Well we do not give a shit. Everyone on Jerry Spring has a S.A.G. card, honey. Sing already. Got to Get You Into My Life is her song. Great song, I am a big fan of the Earth, Wing, and Fire version. Yes I am that old. Bite me. Ok, she sucks. Sorry. Still a great song and I am sure she will not be the worst one on stage tonight. She is a lovely girl, stick with noxema commercials. Maybe Pussycat Dolls Girliscious needs a new candidate. Can you dance?
Randy: S’ok.Paula: Blathering nonsense.
Simon: Great choice o f song. Looked nervous. Better than last week.
Jacuzzi: I am sure he is a nice guy. He looks 45 and he just doesn’t scream idol. But let’s give him a chance. Oh goodie, he was a TSA screener. No Comment. She’s a Woman he is gonna put his own funk on it. I am not sure that is a good thing. Obviously his funk includes a banjo and a fiddle. Oh goodie. I will give him this, he has a lovely voice and a great smile. Don’t hate him. He is better than Sayanara or whoever was before him. Overall, not my thang.
Randy: Smashed it and a bunch of noise.
Paula: Blathering nonsense.Simon: I am really surprised and I have to agree with these two.
I would like to take this moment to say, I FUCKING HATE RYAN SEACREST.
Ramiele: In my life is the song. She is a beautiful girl with a beautiful voice. She looks like London from Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Yes I have small children. Nice enough. I am sick of ballads. They should ban them for three weeks. Boring.
Randy: S’ok.Paula: Blathering nonsense.
Simon: Simon mocks Paula. Bored to tears.
Jason Castro: He is an aggie. He is kinda too dumb for my oldest who starts A&M in fall. His dad’s Columbian and he is girl pretty. If I fell is the song. He is lovely teeth btw. Back to the guitar. I love Jason. Paula is gonna gush all over him, much as I am sure she is gushing all over her chair. His faces kill me. Love him.
Randy: Liked it, didn’t love it. (Fuck you, Randy. WTF do you know? Latter day Journey? Spare me.)
Paula: Blathering nonsense and she disagrees with Randy. (You tell ‘em girl! Now shut the fuck up.)Simon: Not lovin’ it. Boring. Big Fan of Jason. Bad song choice. Choose better, Jason.
Again: Ryan, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Carly Smithson: Carly is lovely and has this sort of Amy Lee thing going on, plus I dig the tats. When she laughs she looks like Paula Dean. Come Together is the song. I loved Aerosmith’s version of this. Ok, Carly is amazing. She has this Ann Wilson thing rocking and well I like her. The outfit has to go. I wish they did a Duets Week. Cuz i would love to see her sing with David whatshisname. The one who did Hello last week.
Randy: Trying to talk over the crowd. Loved it. Stellar.
Paula: Blathering nonsense.Simon: Great song choice. Loved it. Blah blah blah.
Commercial: I do not give a shit about Horton Hears a Who. Just FYI. Hell’s Kitchen is coming back! I dig Gordon.
Dave Cook: Ok, he paints his nails. I remove his hotness factor. Boring promo. Elaenor Rigby is the song. He is a great voice. I hate this fucking song. I hate it. It has a broadway feel to it for me, no matter who sings it. I have visions of people flitting about and overly emoting. He is singing the hell out of it though. He is hot only when he sings.
Randy: Rockin’. You got this. Wtf does that mean.
Paula: Blah blah blah some sort of horse metaphor.Simon: Brilliant. If this show remains a talent competition and doesn’t turn into a popularity contest you could win.
Brooke: Let it Be. Piano time again. I love brook. LOVE HER. She has that whole Carly Simon, Carole King thing going on. Again, I hate ballads. Still she is great. Who does she look like? Girls barefoot.
Randy: Very good, I am a fan.
Paula: Blathering nonsense FFS another person with an emotional connection.Simon: Again one of the best of the night. Brilliant song choice.
Commercial: Stop Loss movie. Ugh. Let’s see if this anti-war movie makes any money. They haven’t been fairing too well. Not sure Ryan Phillipe’s abs can save it. What happened to real movies? You know… movies with Ninjas and Navy Seals.
Stripper Boy: Funny not talking about stripping, only working at a pizza joint. I am sure they looooved him at the bar. I saw her Standing There is the song. The stripping explains his ability to work the crowd and be at ease on stage. Ok, this sucks. Why is he dressed like Marty McFly? Borrrrring.
Randy: Too overdone. (Duh… very theatrical)
Paula: Blathering nonsense. Does she even speak English?Simon: No. No. No. Corny verging on desperate. Oh shut up (to the audience). Wasn’t very cool.
Are there three Davids in this show?
Commercial: Boring George Clooney movie. ATT schmaltz. What happened to good commercials? Parker Posey has a new show! I love Parker. Return of Jezebel something.
Amanda: I wonder if she wears the wig cuz she had the head injury and maybe covers a scar? They need to get her a good wig. If it isn’t a wig, dear God. It looks like one. You Can’t Do That is the song. Her sound is stale to me. Sorry. She isn’t Janis. She isn’t as talented as Melissa Ethridge and meh. Sounds the same every damn week. She does this Elvis Lip Thing that drives me nuts. She would be a really pretty girl without that hair to distract us. Boring but better than Sayanara and Stripper Boy.
Randy: Rocked it out. Loved it.Paula: Blathering nonsense.
Simon: Wasn’t as good as last week. Didn’t understand it. Slurred a lot of the words. He scolds Paula for being a twat.
Michael Johns: Hotness. Across the Universe is the song. Yum. He can sing a ballad. Only him. Hot. There is really nothing left for me to say.
Randy: Randy again is a retard. It was ok for me.
Paula: Blathering nonsense. She disagrees with Randy.Simon: Solid good monotonous. Still wants to hear what he is capable of.
Kristy Cook: Lovely girl. Eight Days a Week. She is gonna do it country. Cuz we sooo need a country version. Ackk. Here it goes… WTF is it with Fiddles and the Beatles this week? Ok, i hate it. Are you hearing me, America. I HATE IT. Bad county fair Corn Queen shit. On the upside? Well, she looks great. That is what Paula will say. This is like bad Dolly Parton, not to knock the Queen of all things Hillbilly who I LOVE TO DEATH.
Randy: Vocally wasn’t great.Paula: Blathering nonsense.
Simon: Horrendous! (HAH he said she sounds like Dolly Parton on helium and the Country fair comment! Simon is my evil twin.)
Commercials: Annoying cell phone commercial for ATT. Vicky’s Secret Biofit commercial. Sizes A-DD. Yeah right. Their version of a DD is like a full C.
David Archuletta: Salt Lake City, he has wholesome Mormon boy written all over him. He is cute… and geeky… We Can Work It Out finally something upbeat. First time he has shown nerves this season. Hard for me to say something bad about him. It is like insulting one of my kids, who are all perfect. Great voice… not going anywhere for a while.
Randy: Not on Point.. blah blah blah.
Paula: Blathering nonsense.
Simon: It was a mess.
Predictions: Sayanara to Sayanara (maybe stripper boy)
2 Responses so far
March 11th, 2008
8:06 pm
Yeah, Seacrest is annoying, but Paula is ruining the show this year. I can’t take her drunken, pill-popping ramblings anymore. I wish Cowell would just reach over and smack her.
March 11th, 2008
10:42 pm
Didn’t comment on your Idol posts last week, so forgive my lengthy commentary.
I miss robo-trippin’ Paula. Somebody pass the little lady a Costco size bottle of cough syrup – PLEASE. She’s WAY too coherent for my taste.
Gawd, must Seacrest fight the gay so HARD. Also, the complete arrogance of the prancing pixie makes me want to scream, dawg.
I have a game with my kids and husband where I guess the judges comments before they say them. I’m hitting around 75% which is pretty sad. I can predict with accuracy their comments even if I don’t agree with them. So predictable. Why do they get the big bucks?
I, unlike you, am not loving the Aussie. Don’t think he’s terribly strong. I felt bad for most of my favorites this week (Archuletta, Cook, Ramiele) and then Chikiese and Amanda comeout and really rock it. I think that Amanda did a great job and I think that she is pretty limited, but I think she saved her ass for another week, so she should go out shopping for another ugly black and white outfit. I agree she is really pretty, but is working the tough biker chick angle way too hard. I think her rough voice with a softer image would be much better, just like her idol, Janis. (Love Janis…)
Kristy Cook should have gone to Nashville Star – she’s just not right. With a little work she could have a couple of cute country hits. She looks fragile, though, not a diva bitch like Carrie Underwood is rumored to be, so don’t know if she could ever be a “Stahh”.
Gay Stripper David sucked – no pun intended. He should stand still unless he is wearing a sequined banana hammock. He’s usually very good.
Carly was very good tonight – really like her, but there is something that I can’t put my finger on that bugs me.
Syesha – meh. I was impressed by her in the beginning, but she doesn’t seem to have much substance – as an ACTRESS, she should dig a little deeper.
Jason – I really like him, but didn’t dig his performance, as he kept switching from melody to harmony and fucked up my sing-along! My husband was laughing at me…
Brooke – love her more than any other ever on Idol. It’s not that she’s technically a wonderful singer but (and I hate to agree with somewhat sober Paula), it is her spirit, the sincerity of her voice and her perfomance. I love her much like I love Joe Cocker and Janis Joplin and Carole King – to sing words and make me believe them and feel them. She’s got a gift. It won’t win her the title, but she will go on to be very successful, I think. Better to come in second or third and get a better contract.
I have a special love for Lennon and McCartney – hours upon hours of listening to “The Beatles from A to Z” on the radio every weekend. Stealing my much older sister’s Beatles albums. Wanting to stay home from school the day John Lennon died. Because of that, I was very critical. I really expected more of what David Archuletta did with Imagine a couple of weeks ago. Sorely disappointed.
Say goodnight, Kristy.
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