American Idol Week Whatever: Final 10?

By jen

I think I am gonna post as I go tonight… sorry about the typos in advance. I am in Oak Pollen HELL, tonight. To start the night… I HATE RYAN SEACREST.

Theme: Year You Were Born

Ramielle: 1987 She sure freakin’ talks a lot. STFU and sing… or whatever it is you do. Did I mention I was in a bad mood? Heart’s Alone... I have a bad feeling about this. Bitch is gonna fuck with Ann Wilson perfection. OH GOD! MAKE. IT. STOP. My ears! Ugh… THAT SUCKED ASS.

Randy: wrong song choice. Too big a song.

Paula: Fucking blah blah blah. Bitch is shit faced, that or her face is droopy for some reason.

Simon: In a Nutshell: If you got through last week after sucking shit, this was better than that, so you should be fine. Hah.

Paula has on these stupid freakin’ gloves. As Christian would say, She needs some gays.

While there is a commercial on: I would like to state that I am disgusted. I graduated in 1987 and the slaughter of a song so near and dear to me at 18 is almost more than I can bear. I fear for the tone of the rest of this posting. Definitely “R” rated.

I have an overwhelming urge to strangle Ryan.

Jason: 1987 Please sing something good, Jason. I like you. Pretty eyed boy. He would be really handsome with real hair. Ok, my kids were screaming and my husband was talking. I have no idea what he is singing. Fragile I think. He is less annoying than Ramalamadingdong or whatever her name is. Ok, he was good. Of course everything sounds good after the previous. He sounds stoned when he talks.

Randy: Good choice. Liked the Spanish touch. (He was singing in spanish? I am medicated folks.)

Paula: This bitch never says anything. Btw, half her dress is gone. Looks like she got in a bar fight.

Simon: Two bad weeks. Please take this more seriously. Yeah, whatever.

Sayesha: 1987 she has the same birthday as me! Shame she nauseates me. If I Were Your Woman. I hate it already. She reminds me of the middle child from Cosby Show. Tempest Whoever. Ugh. I fucking hate screaming singers. Dying cat. She sounds like a dying cat.

Randy: Good moment for you. BestI have ever heard you sing. Proving again he is totally retarded.

Paula: Why can’t she just fucking say “I love it or I hate it?” She just cannot stop herself from blathering.

Simon: He didn’t like the end. Song stretched the limit of your vocals. Much like it stretched the limit of my tolerance.

Commercial: I have heard everything… The end is near. I am watching a Chevy commercial, of course this is Texas, anyway… the song playing is Cameo’s Word Up… Country style. Like Charlie Daniels Band does Funk. I am about to give up and go take a bath.

Jacuzzi: 1985 awww he was a cute baby. He actually looks like a nice guy. Always smiling. He is probably a prick. Sorry… forgive me. I am going to burn in hell. I am cranky. If Only for One Night. I would like to state that 1985 was obviously not a good year for music. That said, there had to be something better than this. Is it just me or do they all suck?

Randy: too old school. blah blah blah he liked Sayanara better.

Paula: Ugh

Simon: You sang it well but it was cheesy.

Brooke: 1983 Every Breath You Take Did she flub the beginning of this? Not that it matters, she is the only one on the show who can sing.

Randy: Didn’t love the arrangement. Was ok.

Paula: whatever… she is saying absolutely nothing and wtf is up with those gloves.

Simon: Definitely good enough to keep you in for another week.

Michael Johns: 1978 ooo he is older. Explains the sexiness. Queen! He is sexy as hell, judges will hate it. Why? Cuz they are stupid. Yum. I feel a bit better now.

Randy: Finally you use that big ole voice. That was the best performance since you have been on the show.

Paula: Blah blah blah… she wants him. She cannot have him. HE IS MINE.

Simon: I see star potential. You got it right. Only memorable performance of the night.

Yay! Ok, we can end it all now.

Carly: 1983 She looks like her mother who is lovely. Total Eclipse of the Heart OMG. I am so old. I remember this listening to this song over and over. Eh… it seems too fast to me. Something. She is great, but eh. I love that they always go to the freaky tattooed hubby. Keepin’ it real.

Randy: Don’t like it.

Paula: whatever… loved it.

Simon: You were tense. Lighten up a little bit.

David Archuletta : Your The Voice? I do not know this song. It is very Up With People to me. He was born like five minutes ago. He is cute though.

Randy: Strange song choice but very nice.

Paula: blah blah blah

Simon: Didn’t like it.

Kristy 1984 I cannot believe she is still on this show. This is the one that was coached by Britney No Panties Spears. God Bless The USA she should be able to blow this out of the park. She looks great. She has Miss Texas pageant written all over her. This is the wrong venue.

Randy: Litte pitchy etc…

Paula: Blah blah blah

Simon: Best song for you. Best performance ever for you.

David Cook: 1982 Billy Jean Ok, this guy makes me all giddy. This season’s Chris Daughtry. He is The Shit.

Randy: Most original most bold. You are the one to win the whole lot. Hot.

Paula: blah blah blah I want to smother her.

Simon: Brave brave brave. It was amazing.

Ramielle’s ass needs to go home.