Ok, I was in the bath at 630 and well… I love my jacuzzi bathtub and I have been soaking and reading and forgot about Idol… doubt i missed much.

I fucking hate Neil Diamond… sorry. I ugh…

Dunno who I missed but Archuletta is on… meh. I think I will just do the whole stream of consciousness more than usual tonight. What is with this palm up thing he does? It makes me twitch. He has a nice voice… meh.

Ugh, Sayanara… I do not think I can make it through this show… honestly. Maybe I will read my latest vampire book. OOooo Vampire Smut rocks. Oh God Hello Again Hello… KILL ME NOW! This girl is no Beyonce… though I am not a Beyonce fan… still this is like Cruise ship Beyonce. Shrieky screaming shit. Ugh.

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH BARE FEET??? Did Idol lose their shoe budget?

Paula is having an out of body experience. She just thought Jason sang twice. She is soooo fucking altered.

Jason is singing September Morn… ugh. I think my ears will bleed soon.

David Cook… smokin’ hot… I need a moment alone.  I cannot do anymore… there is nothing that is gong to compare… Adios!

Al Sharption… Shut the fuck up already: I am not familiar with this case at all and from what I can get from the articles I have read the media isn’t too interested in the deaths so much as the fact it was racial and Al is threatening to close down NYC.  It is tragic and I have no idea what happened, but I am still saying to Al,  Shut the fuck up already because I do not believe he solves anyone’s problems.  I think he is feeling a bit of penis envy at the moment.  Someone is  no longer feeling like the most significant black man on the planet.  Not that he ever was other than in his own mind, but I am thinking that might have something to do with it.  Ignore me, I am just a typical white person.  Who is the most significant black man on the planet?  Obama?  Hardly, but he is the most significant black man in his own mind and those of his cult.  I think the honor goes to Tiger Woods personally.

Madanno is looking pretty much like Wendy O Williams here…

Keep Talkin’ Barry O… Idiot.  Via: Hot Air

Not so much. Sorry, his stuff is sloppy of cartoonish. I get that is his shtick, but he is no Sylvia Winestock or Ron Ben Isreal.  He is famous and that is cool, but still… I wouldn’t want one of his cake at the price I am sure he is charging, at my wedding.

He is funny though and I find his staff funny.  Oh yeah, and he is a million times better than that Sandra Lee hack.

I love a good Joke and this one is delightful….

===

Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.” Here are the scorecards from the advent:

(Frank Judge #3)

Chili # 1 Eddie’s Maniac Monster Chili…
Judge # 1—! A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2—Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3—(Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy!
(more…)

T-Shirt Hell has some fantastic shirts and some horribly offensive ones, even for me. That said, here are some great ones. I am soooo going to buy the Al Gore one.

I have made my list now I just have to bite the bullet and buy it. I might just stop in Houston and pick them up in person.  This is just the latest list.  Kat stopped by Penzy’s and bought me a slew of things not on this list.  I love Penzeys!

Watching Paula Dean now.  She is cooking snapper fillets.  She is seasoning the shit out of it and pecan coating it.  What does she say as she is basically bathing the fish in salt and pepper?  “It is very important to season your food before cooking.  Especially fish because it can turn out so very bland.”

Take that you poser fake breasted trollop, Sandra Lee!  Stick to your box cakes and fuu fuu table settings.  Which reminds me, today on her “tablescape” she had a fucking chandelier laying on it’s side like it just fell off the ceiling.  What a twat.

I was grocery shopping last weekend and rummaging through the frozen food section looking for breakfast sausage.   You know, the frozen patties you can cook really quick in the morning.  The kids love them.  Ran across some chubs (heh love that word) of raw ground pork sausage.  Not just any pork, Bacon and Pork Sausage.  Now, the chances of me NOT buying something labeled Bacon Flavored Pork Sausage is pretty much nonexistent.

I tossed it in the freezer last weekend and forgot about it.  Last night I was seriously cravin’ some rice dressing and remembered I had the delightful treasure in the freezer.  Thawed it out with a pound of ground turkey and soon had it cooking up in my favorite tall skillet and a rice cooker full of long grain rice cooking in chicken stock.  I sauteed the pork and then tossed in some minced onion, garlic and half the spice cabinet.  I love Penzeys….

I dumped the rice into the meat mixture and damn it had that absolutely perfect boudain rice texture.  Needless to say it is ALL gone.  I was sort of bummed because I didn’t have an green onions which are always the best thing every about making rice dressing for me.  However, it was absolutely amazing without it.  That bacon flavored yumminess was just what I was craving.

I cannot remember the brand, but next time I am at the store I will buy about 5 chubs more and blog the name for you guys.  I am thinking it would make an excellent addition to a nice ground sirloin meatloaf with some brown gravy and fluffy white rice.

Ok, I simply cannot tolerate Sandra Lee of the Semi-Homemade fad.  Her show on FoodTv is SHIT.  Shit I tell you.

I am a good cook and I am a foodie.  I am a huge fan of using as many canned, prepared, etc foods and making them something amazing.  I have a houseful of kids and while I love to cook, I am not going to make an all day soup when I can do one damn near as good in about 45 minutes.  That said…

What this bitch does is not making something better.  It is taking something bland and making it uhm… making it the same but putting a fucking garnish on it and calling it gourmet.  Ugh.  I could kind of hang with her in the beginning today.  She made olive puffs.  Take puff pastry (which I love) and roll it out a bit, smear some good stuff on it, cheese it, roll it, cut it, egg wash it, and bake it.  Voila!  It was edible except for the fact she basically smeared an entire can of tomato paste as a base.  Uhm, not so much.

I actually laughed aloud at her Asparagus risotto which came out of a box, not that there is anything wrong with that, but making it “homemade” is not the result of basically chopping an asparagus stem and floating them before you cover it.   What she did next will haunt me for a while…

New stage, blah blah blah. Ryan acting like the nancy boy he is. I would like to shove that conductors baton up his urethra but he would probably like it.

Why is Sayanara still there? Music of Andrew Lloyd Webber? Oh goodie! Showtunes!

Ok, David Cook is hotness…

Considering not a single girl on this show can sing anywhere near the realm of a Sara Brightman, ALW’s ex-wife and muse of sorts I guess.

Sayanara sings some odd showtune... Folks, we are going to be in cabaret hell. I really do not like this girl. I do not know what it is. Is she trying to channel Nell Carter? I guess she was good, meh. Hated it. Randy: best performance to date. Paula: she never makes any fucking sense. Tell me people, has she ever completed a sentence in the history of the show? Simon: Very sexy. Strong performance. WTF is up with these bitches not wearing shoes?

I think Ryan wants some frottage with the conductor.

Ugh, Jason Castro singing Memory next... shoot me now.