Why Are the Plebs So Angry?

By jen

Plebian at that Daily Dollop does a bit of reverse translation for the lefties, to make them better understand why the peons are so pissed.

Imagine that GOP Presidential candidate Eustus P. Hogg III is speaking to the Upper Mudflap Rotary Convention in Mudflap, Pennsylvania, and he says the following:

“Y’all know that in some places, like San Francisco or New York, there are boys who grow up without ever learning what it means to be a real man. So they dress like metrosexuals, they drink lattes instead of coffee, they’re incompetent with basic power tools, and they get degrees in law or philosophy instead of learning a real trade that adds value to the country. It’s high time that they got their painted nails a little bit chipped by helping make this country great, don’t you think?

“I understand that being a real man cuts into the amount of time you can spend sticking stuff in your ass to find the limits of your accommodation. But I don’t think the founding fathers really valued that kind of activity.”

I particularly like how he point out anal accommodation, being it is the cornerstone of the entire left wing philosophy.

He goes on to describe the apology as well:

“I’m sorry that a whole bunch of pantywaist queerbaits got upset about my comments yesterday. I think it’s a good thing that they’re not real men, and I think it’s fine that they like to spend time grooming their eyebrows and debating Proust or whatever. Those are fine American pursuits. The whole thing is a distraction from my ‘Gun in Every House’ campaign that the out-of-touch Limousine Liberals don’t want to talk about.”

Go visit the Daily Dollop, I have been amused for about an hour or so. I highly recommend the Vasectomy Chronicles and his adventure with Dr. Nuttencutt. Pleb, I will remember your balls in my prayers.