Ok, I simply cannot tolerate Sandra Lee of the Semi-Homemade fad.  Her show on FoodTv is SHIT.  Shit I tell you.

I am a good cook and I am a foodie.  I am a huge fan of using as many canned, prepared, etc foods and making them something amazing.  I have a houseful of kids and while I love to cook, I am not going to make an all day soup when I can do one damn near as good in about 45 minutes.  That said…

What this bitch does is not making something better.  It is taking something bland and making it uhm… making it the same but putting a fucking garnish on it and calling it gourmet.  Ugh.  I could kind of hang with her in the beginning today.  She made olive puffs.  Take puff pastry (which I love) and roll it out a bit, smear some good stuff on it, cheese it, roll it, cut it, egg wash it, and bake it.  Voila!  It was edible except for the fact she basically smeared an entire can of tomato paste as a base.  Uhm, not so much.

I actually laughed aloud at her Asparagus risotto which came out of a box, not that there is anything wrong with that, but making it “homemade” is not the result of basically chopping an asparagus stem and floating them before you cover it.   What she did next will haunt me for a while…

She had flounder fillets.  I love flounder and these were nice looking fillets.  She stacked two, tucked them under, stuck four bundles in a glass dish olive oil in the bottom, chopped asparagus on top and baked it.

Yes, you read that right.  SHE DIDN’T SEASON THE FISH!  God should have shot a thunderbolt in her ass for defiling flounder in that way.  I am simply unable to get over this.  She didn’t salt it.  She didn’t butter it.  She didn’t put a lemon slice.  She fucking didn’t season it.  She made this mierda red pepper cream sauce.  Honestly, I think I threw up a little in my mouth when she picked up the albino fillet and poured enough of that disgusting tomato soup looking red pepper sauce to choke a horse over the poor unseasoned fishy.

I got pissed, honest to goodness pissed!  Who the fuck would eat that?  Maybe it is a white person thing?  Cajuns are white folks, but we like our fucking food to taste like something.  This is like something my first husband’s mother would have made and served with mashed potato weenie casserole.  Ugh….  You know how bad it was?  So bad that it isn’t even posted on the FoodTV.com website.  They have different and equally disgusting recipes for today’s show.

If this bitch is making a fortune off this, then I am in the wrong business.  It is time to launch my cooking show.  Problem is, I would have to be on HBO or something because I curse too much.   Bitch in The Kitchen has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?  Kat and I use to always say we would do a great cooking show between the two of us.  Bitches in the Kitchen…. I am feelin’ it.