I have seen a few folks playing with this meme o’ the week. I was over at doubleplusundead for his Around the sphere in 80 IQ points roundup which is one of my guilty pleasures and read through his inspired list. Inspired and well I like to see my name throw around on other blogs on the rare occasion it isn’t in relation to off color comment I made about sex or some filthy link I sent Ace. Here is my effort….

Question: Suppose you were elected Temporary Supreme Dictator of America. What are 10 laws you would pass/repeal or government programs you would create/tear down? (Assume that you are in office for however long it would take to do these ten things and that any changes you make will remain in place after you leave office.)

1.  If you do not pay taxes you do not get to vote.  I do not care if you get a refund, the point it you worked, you paid in, you are not a blight on society.  Why is this important to me?  Because it is my goddamn money and the no working assholes in this country shouldn’t get a say in how it is spent.  It it like me coming to your house on payday and saying, “Hey, gimme 500 bucks, I need to go shopping and didn’t bother making any money of my own.”  Could have been worse… a man I work with says only white male landowners should get to vote.  He was joking… mostly.

2.  All celebrities who anoint themselves and begin to preach as though they are political experts, environmental experts, or speakers for humanity have to pay an extra 40% income tax on top of their standard tax as punishment.  This money will go into a fund to do the following: increase the carbon footprint of as many people as possible; paint the name of said celebrity on a missile which will be summarily lobbed at a terrorist target of my choice; the systematic destruction of the being known as Oprah Winfrey.

3.  I will seize control of the NY Times in the name of my fabulousness and after I shave Maureen Dowd’s head with a butter knife, I will install Ace as HMIC (Head Moron in Charge) and let him run with it.  I give it two days before the image of some sci/fi gal ends up on the front page withthe headline “I’d Hit It!”

4.  I would toss the UN out without notice.  Think, large quantities of bad ass Alpha males with guns, and tattoos saying, “You have ten minutes to get your asses out front and onto the school buses that will take your degenerate asses to the airport…  Oh yeah, leave your shit.  We will auction it to pay your debt to the state for parking tickets and other shit you fucked up while you were free loading off our tax dollars.”  I will then fly them all coach on American Airlines to some place like Darfur or Congo and tell them to figure out  how to get home and not to bother coming back to the USA.  They aren’t welcomed.

5.  All active duty military will stop paying federal withholding tax on their payroll checks and be reimbursed for the last five years taxes.

6.  Irresponsible Asshole Legislation:  Part A:  Anyone who abuses drugs while pregnant, subsequently giving birth to a drug addicted child is to be sterilized immediately after giving birth and the child is to be placed in a good home; not with grandma who will just let the junkie bitch see the kid.  Should have thought about how much you love your baby while you were buying your meth or heroine or crack or whatever.  Part B:  Habitual DUI assholes will be shot at the earliest possible opportunity and any wealth they have must be split between the victims families.

7.  Everyone Clinton Pardoned will be returned to jail or have their previous status reinstated.   Hillary will be forced to run  a gauntlet and avoid sniper fire for every lie she has told in public life.  Obama will be forced to live in rural Pennsylvania with all those typical white people and his bulldog looking wife goes with him.   Nancy Pelosi will be forced to run the gauntlet with Hillary just for shits and giggles.  Harry Reid, the most annoying idiot geriatric on the planet, will have to share a small efficiency apartment with Al Sharpton, the most annoying idiot race baiter on the planet and they will be banned from making any television appearances or giving interviews of any kind.  The withdrawal pain from no longer hearing their own voice on the news every five minutes will send them into some sort of coma for the rest of their lives.

8.   You want to come to America and make a life here?  Willing to work hard and speak English to do it?  Willing to pledge an oath to our Flag?   Willing to abide by our laws and love this great country?  Yes?  Welcome to America, now let us document who you are, give you a SS# so you can pay taxes, and then you are free to start living the American Dream.   If you answered no to any of the above questions… fuck off.

9.  War for Oil?  Hell yes.  Cannot think of a better reason to go to war being as our entire freakin’ economy depends on it.

10.   I have an idea for a new wall, or rather walls.  I say, we wall in all the liberal strongholds in the country and leave them to their own devices.  They can buy things from the rest of us folks outside the walls, but they are not allowed outside the walls for fear they might breed with the normal folks.    I think this is better than walling out the Mexicans, personally.   If you let the liberals get a hold of the illegal population they will just put them in housing projects and pay them not to work, much like they have already done with minorities in big cities.  They work now, they want to work… lets keep it that way.