Idol… yeah whatever

By jen

Syesha just mutilated Proud Mary. Randy loved it. Paula is blathering. Simon gives a dose of reality. Bad and shrieky version of Tina Turner.

I am going to register NeuterRyanSeacrest.com

Oooo Speed Racer trailer. I think Dave is going to take the kids to see this when I am at Kat’s baby shower in a few weeks. Have I mentioned he is The Shit lately?

Jason sings Marley. Even the hair isn’t selling this. Ugh… I might shoot myself if he doesn’t stop soon. Fuck the sheriff. I am overly cranky tonight, beware. I want to shave his head and give him a nice normal haircut. Randy didn’t like it. Very karaoki. Paula is going to blather and gush and tell him he looks great. Barring that she will just drool and be confused. Simon said it was utter atrocious.

David is an idiot. He is a bobble head. Did you notice that when he was talking about singing Stand By Me? I want to strap his hand to his side so he cannot move it. I bet he would lose the ability to sing. He sounds good enough, but then he always sings pretty. Still pissed he didn’t Rick Roll in 80’s week. Randy: Good every time. Blah blah blah. Paula: I think she has a wig on. Must not have been able to get the gum out of it from when she passed out in the park last night. Simon: Good song choice. Good job.

This is the second week I missed Dave Cook’s first song. Meh…

This at&t vagina flower commercial really creeps me out. Just sayin’...

David Cook has a gay necklace on. Ok, he is hot. That is really all I have to add. Everyone else sucks. Randy: Better. Much better. Paula: I just want more… BOOZE! Simon: welcome back David Cook.

Ok, i am going to mute Syesha because I am not in an emotional place where i can listen to her without risking broken crockery.

Fucking GODDAMN GREEN FUCKING COMMERCIALS. I’ll be right back. I am going set fire to a pile of plastic bottles and leave my car running for the night….

Syesha compares the pivotal times of the civil rights movement with her own pivotal time as final four idol contestant. I have muted the tv. I cannot listen to her mutilate Sam Cooke. I love, Long Time Coming and I cannot have her ruin it for me with her screeching shit. Randy didn’t love it. Paule just said something. The girl is crying, dunno why. Simon agreed with Paula who I never pay attention to. The song meant alot to her. Boo frickin’ hoo.

Jason sings Mr. Tamborine Man. UGH… Jason forgot the words. HAH! Greatest moment of the night. Watch the idiot twelve year old girls vote him through to next week. It is about time to send my favorite singer home. Watch Cook leave. Randy: Not in the zone. Paula: He blows her away and she wants to blow him. Simon: Pack your suitcase.

This fucking show is gong to run over. I would be more pissed if Hell’s Kitchen wasn’t sucking so badly this season. Still, Gordon Ramsay makes me hot.

David sings Love Me Tender. Ugh. My least favorite Elvis song. I hate ballads. There goes the hand. All the tween in America are peeing their panties. Me, I am asco.  Randy: Great performance.  Caressed words blah blah blah.  Paula: felt your heart.  Simon:  Crushed the competition.  Ugh.

Jason goes home if there is justice.  If America is as stupid as I believe it to be, David Cook goes home.