As Seen on TV! Gimme Gimme Gimme…

By jen

I would like to preface this by saying I have never bought a single thing off of the television. That said, as I sit here after having soaked in my jacuzzi bathtub I find myself excited by the thought of the Pancake Puff Pan! I am itching to buy one. Why? I have no fucking clue.

Maybe it is the…

• Gourmet Fancy Flavor Filler


• Pastry Brush


• Insulated Pan Handle Cover


• Sugar Shaker


• 1 Year Supply of Flipping Sticks for that
  Professional Touch

Or maybe it is just the thought of a plateful of these!

Maybe it is PMS… yeah that is probably more likely. Still, that pile of chocolate puffed goodness looks damn good, doesn’t it?

This product got me thinking of all the other magical products you guys by and absolutely NEVER use. I decided to do some research and see what else i could come up with.

How about the Kitchen Wizard 5 in 1 Ultimate Kitchen Tool? No I do not mean my husband who is the Ultimate 5000 in 1 Super Fantastic Tool and best domestic acquisition I have made in my life. I speak of the super duper funky kitchen tong thingie! According to the website this little mighty mouse of utensils does the following:

Kitchen Wizard replaces forks, spoons, tongs, whisks, and spatulas. Imagine having 5 tools in 1!

Forget the fact I have at least seventy five utensils already clogging two drawers and a big counter canister for the ones I use all the time… I need this fucking thing now!

How about the 5 in 1 Sofa Bed? Holy shit. I cannot tell you how often I have said to myself, “Jen, you need a giant black rubber inflatable sofa, for those times when you just do not have enough seating at your dinner parties.”

What could you possibly do with a 5 in 1 black rubber inflatable sofa? Call your girlfriend and tell her to bring the Crisco and video camera *wink wink? No no no… well, maybe, but seriously:

The 5 in 1 Sofa Bed can be used as a:

• 3 Seat Sofa


• Lounger


• Recliner


• Queen Sized Bed


• Children’s High Rise Sleeper

Finally, the grandmother of all As Seen On TV products… You guessed it! The Be-FUCKING-dazzler! How many of you bitches own one of these? Huh? Admit it! I do not, but this is sort of related to the same gene that makes you people scrapbook. In fact, you could probably bedazzle your scrapbooks!

It’s Easy! It’s Fun! It’s FABULOUS! SNAP! PUSH! & POP! Hell I am excited just typing that! They even have a MINI Bedazzler now… seriously… I need some fucking sparklies! Kat… order three of these, STAT!

What do you get with your $19.95 order? Well let me tell you good people…

You get it all!

On that note… I am going to go find chocolate to make everything better!