Some Funny Stuff I Have Heard This Week in Conversation:

By jen

I was going to try and work this into a real blog post, but I am so freakin’ without inspiration of late that I figured I would just make a list.  These are are gems and I simply have to post and share… I owe it to the world.

In random order because I love them all…

UPDATE:

Muffin Top: The effect one sees when a woman is wearing jeans too tight at the hip causing that little overlap of fleshy roll to form.  Generally she is wearing a t-shirt too tight and not long enough.  I am sure there is a muffin top fetish out there somewhere.

Hope is failure postponed: I think that is the proper wording, I am sure I will be corrected if not.   Whatever it is, I want it printed on a T-shirt and a coffee mug ASAP.

Sex-fu: I am told this is a mandatory skill for guys who are not Brad Pit types.

Blow-fu: This is apparently the explanation of how Juliette Lewis ended up engaged to Brad Pitt.

and finally we need to all remember to us the term Barbed Cock of Satan as much as possible in this election cycle.  Hell, not just in reference to politics either!  Think of all the many applications for this fantastical phrase….

Example 1:

“It is time for the weekly staff meeting, Jennifer.”

“I’d rather suck the barbed cock of Satan… go without me.”

Example 2:

Coworker with a cold:  I have a sore throat and feel like shit!

Smartass Coworker without a cold:  That’s what you get for sucking the barbed cock of Satan!

Example 3:

Drive Thru Attendent:  Would you like a hot lemon pie with your chocolate shake?

Customer:  Would you like to suck the barbed cock of Satan?

The options are limitless…