Sandra Leigh Insanity…
Ok, I watch this bitch mostly to ridicule her and hate on her. Today she outdid herself.
Menu: Green Chile Soup from Mexico, Asian Five Spice Chicken for entree, Baklava for Dessert.
Who the fuck eats that all together?
Presume you would… would you eat her half assed versions of them? Uhmm NO.
Best part? With this episodes Kitchen Design she has a giant fucking book with a map on it open on a giant freakin’ stand like a cookbook next to her sink and drapes that are made out of a world map. Everytime I look at her crooked ponytail i want to push her face in the garbage disposal of her porcelain farmhouse sink.
I just watched her applaud her one fluffy white rice. Mind you it was fluffy white rice out of a freakin’ rice cooker. If you fuck up rice in a rice cooker you have major issues and should just go to Sonic.
Oh goodie!!! It is tablescape time.
Glorious Globes! She has a faaaahbulous mobile made with fishing line and thumbtacks. They are right in the cent of the table like some chandelier from hell and guaranteed to keep you from actually talking to the other people at the table and guaranteed to have every kid at the table batting them back and forth like a tetherball.
Seriously… face plant in the disposal. If that doesn’t work I say we nuke the site from orbit. It is the only way to be sure.
4 Responses so far
July 25th, 2008
3:42 pm
Rachel Ray is the Antichrist, and Sandra Lee is her dark servant.
July 25th, 2008
4:04 pm
I want to know who Sandra blew to get this gig. Seriously. If i see one more damn tablescape i am going to break something. I keep waiting for the “roadkill” themed show. Opossum ball tar tar with a creamy red pepper sauce for appetizers, Squirrel and assorted rodent stew with a lovely wine flavored stock, to finish a nice oreo and cheetoh tort with honey and schlitz glaze. The tablescape is pretty self explanatory… We will call the episode Vittles with Sandy at the Cement Pond.
July 26th, 2008
12:23 am
I think I remember hearing that she is married to one of the bigwigs at Food Network…
Sandra: Today, I’m making wonderful rollups with pimento roll slices, stuffed with Cheez Whiz. And to complement that, a spring meat salad made of Slim Jims, Cheetos and Vienna Sausages, mixed with a few McNugget barbecue sauce containers to bring it all together, delicious! And to drink, a bottle of Thunderbird, still in the paper bag. Doesn’t that sound yummy? And just wait till you see what irregular bargain bin leftover I bought to throw on the table!
Rachel: That sounds Yum-O! Maybe just a little EVOO for those pimento roll rollups, and maybe some Wonderbread for that meat salad to make some delicious sammies!
...and at that’s when I Elvis my TV.
August 6th, 2008
10:33 pm
a related rant,
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