A Harsh Texan Realization…

By jen

Well, there have been several in the last few months with politics and all, but most recently I was having a chat, well a series of them, with a friend who started pointing out the absurdity of Texans being obsessed with the state identity. At first I wrote this off to his obvious disgruntled personality; don’t get me wrong that disgruntled personality is a great deal of his charm. After a few more days of conversations and my own driving around town and making observations I was forced to admit he is correct.

Granted I have not traveled extensively, but I know a great many folks from other places and I have been to other states. I guess what I grew up with around me constantly caused me to just not notice it. Everything is branded. It is like we are trying to sell Texas to Texans. Which admittedly makes no sense. I think it probably started with the whole Texas as a nation thing. The West and rugged individualism etc. You always know when someone is from Texas, right? I think we feel it is just obvious where we are from, but really it is probably because we tend to tell everyone we are from here.

It is probably unique to Texans when traveling abroad and asked Where are you from? to answer, “San Antonio, Texas!” or just “Texas” as opposed to most everyone else who would say, “America.” I think my friend might feel this is some sort of neurotic thing where we feel superior to everyone else, but I do not think it is. We just identify with our state more than the next person.

We have a love affair with our flag and our state image that seems to be unique or according to him, insane. I would argue, but driving around just one afternoon running errands I noticed every overpass had a nice little Texas carved into the cement; some even had colored cement and lots of stars. I noticed all the businesses with the US flag and the Texas flag. I will even admit in most cases there was no US flag at all just the Texas flag. Restaurants like Texas Roadhouse, Texas Land and Cattle Company, Texas BBQ, etc. All our car dealership are Texas Best Chevy or Ford or Toyota. Buildings painted in the motif of the state flag are plentiful as well. The most silly and the one that made me giggle aloud, “Home Depot: Texas’ Home Improvement Store.” As though the Home Depots in Texas are some how different. Hell maybe they are! We do not know!

I wonder if my fellow Texans notice this or are they like me and just think it was normal? I thought maybe because I live in San Antonio, a city who owes most of its income to tourism, that we were just more Texased up than the next city. Then I thought about the other cities I have lived in and visited. While San Antonio might have more than the average city, it is not really that much more. My little podunk hometown is Texascentric as well as Dallas and Houston and just about any highway side city I have ever been through.

I am not sure how to feel about this. Is it bad? Is it good? Or is it simply a Texas thing and the rest of you all can just kiss my ass? I feel like I should defend my state, but then that seems sort of stupid. I was asked what it is that makes us so special? What do we do better than anyone else? What do we have that is better than anyone else? Good questions all…

Other than the obvious fact that “I” am from Texas and my fabulousness is a well known fact; my kung-fu is legendary, I do not know what makes us so special. Hell isn’t that enough? Nonetheless I asked him, “What was the real number one annoyance for you about Texas? What ruined it for you when you visited my home state?”

After listing the previous things he admitted the most annoying thing about Texas when he had visited… Are you ready for this? “No Sweet Fucking Tea in your restaurants!”

After giggling at the absurdity of this I did feel compelled to defend my state. I said, “You are wrong. We have lots of restaurants with sweet fucking tea! This is the South!” That of course led to a dissertation from my friend that Texas is not Southern. It is in fact Southwestern. Whatevah! We fucking have sweet tea in our restaurants!

To prove this to myself and to prove I had not hallucenated the existance of such things in our eateries I made a point of asking for sweet tea at every place i stopped for a drink or food over the last week. As much as it pains me… with one exception Chili’s no one had sweet fucking tea! ARGH! I am not crazy. Really, places have it! My husband drinks it! Then it occurred to me, I haven’t been eating out a great deal of Mexican food lately. It is the Mexican joints that have sweet tea here! That and Bill Miller’s BBQ. So there!

I suggest this to my friend, “If you ever find your ass back in Texas, eat some fucking Mexican food! They will drown you in sweet fucking tea!”

I am now morally obligated to pitch a fit every time I go out and eat and they have no fucking sweet tea! It is obviously a matter of State pride.