7 Days of Sex in A Row…
This deal has been in the news lately. Some pastors encouraging their married congregation to have sex everyday for seven days straight to strengthen their marriage. Oy… why is this so irritating for some folks? Was reading over on Hot Air last week and some gal had her knickers in a knot over this big time. She was going on about old people not being able to do this blah blah blah. I do not think the pastor was talking to his silver haired worshipers. Those folks are married and have been for ages. He is obviously talking to the younger couples and encouraging them to spend more time together blah blah blah get connected blah blah blah. Basically stop fighting and redirect your free time to more intimate activities. My opinion? If you are not past out tired when you crawl into bed or have a raging stomach flu then you should be banging your spouse before the Zzzz’s. Just sayin’...
Seriously… it is a well established fact of life a man with empty balls is simply easier to get along with, less likely to bitch, and more likely to do your laundry. Men are fairly simple creatures, women too mostly, but men especially. As Bruce would say, “Keep ‘em empty.” I say, “Feed ‘em, Fuck ‘em, and don’t nag ‘em.” That’s the key.
Some women will start saying they feel objectified. That a week of sex “isn’t going to help my marriage. Sex isn’t love and connection and emotional healing.” Sex isn’t about some all consuming moment of emotional “oneness” 99.99% of the time and no amount of banging away is going to save a broken marriage, but it might get one back on track that has just lost its way a bit. You are not going to get emotional healing from getting it on, that is true. That said… So what? This is what the shoe department at Nordstrom’s is for, sweetie.
Start screwing or get a lawyer because no marriage is going to survive long without sex. At least not one that you are going to be happy in. If you can count the days since the last time you were naked with your man or woman in double digits you need rectify the situation because someone in that pair isn’t happy; even if they are not complaining. Yeah I realize that illness and other things can come into play, but for healthy people to have a healthy marriage there has to be some nekkid monkey sex on a regular basis.
/end rant from Dr. Jen
41 Responses so far
November 25th, 2008
4:48 am
“Was reading over on Hot Air last week and some gal had her knickers in a knot over this big time.”
I’d wager that her knickers are pretty much permanently knotted then.
November 25th, 2008
9:55 am
Seriously, you should be counting the time between conjugal visits in hours, not days. Everyone is happier that way
November 25th, 2008
3:05 pm
Your my kind of chic, Jen. I count myself lucky that I have a wife that has never once said “no” to sex. It isn’t that she has a high drive or anything either. I would win in that contest. But she understands that it is important in a marriage. She also has never used sex as a weapon, or something to hold over my head either. I know a lot of men that are in unhappy marriages and in all of them, their wives are harpies about sex and well, just harpies in general. This is why Dr Laura should be mandatory listening for many women.
Anyway, with all the crap in our lives, the hours spent working the time with the kids, the busyness of all of our lives, many couples forget about sex. This is a very fast way to put your marriage in a rough spot. The pastor isn’t a sage for suggesting this, it is just a fact that intimacy is a rock in a marriage.
November 25th, 2008
5:03 pm
Jennifer Explains Secret to a Happy, or at Least Functioning, Marriage…
Light content warning: The secret isn’t conversation, after all. Thanks to Blest…....
November 25th, 2008
5:13 pm
“Feed ‘em, Fuck ‘em, and don’t nag ‘em.” That’s the key.”
Not my usual language – but in this case nothing less will do! We’ve been happily practiciing htis for 25 yrs (come this Dec)!
I came from Ace’s place. Good stuff!
November 25th, 2008
5:19 pm
oops!
htis = this
November 25th, 2008
5:39 pm
I don’t need the “Feed’em” part, the other two will do just fine! In fact I’ll be happy to do the feed’em part myself if I can do without the “nag’em”
November 25th, 2008
5:39 pm
A headline link from Ace and just 6 comments ? Weird Read back 4 or 5 pages. Good stuff, Jen
November 25th, 2008
5:55 pm
It’s all about keeping your man in good health, too. It’s good for the prostate gland and keeps Mr. Johnson and the twins looking great.
November 25th, 2008
5:59 pm
That article was a wham bam thank you mam! No foreplay, just a throw down. As a male I would like to try and say I am more intellectual and sensitive, but I’m not. That comes later. Thank you for your honest approach.
Another one of Ace’s morons.
November 25th, 2008
6:19 pm
Came here from Ace’s place. Read the post and wandered around the blog a bit. Great stuff! Picked up the RSS feed – my newsfeed needs some more estrogen...
November 25th, 2008
6:48 pm
1) Marry someone you really like (yeah, love is important but marry someone who can carry on a conversation, has a work ethic, makes you laugh and respects you).
2)Read this post.
November 25th, 2008
7:08 pm
[...] Fairness compels to to provide an Double X perspective of the good Reverend’s call. Good taste prevents me from actually providing any quotes. In any case if you are legally an adult in your particular state and can handle salty language, go read Jen’s comments. [...]
November 25th, 2008
8:12 pm
I can feed myself. I talked over the 7 day thing with Mrs. DBS, but so far it’s not happening. I usually get it a couple times of week already, which is nice, but a couple times a day would be better.
November 25th, 2008
9:19 pm
came from Ace.. I love it…gotta copy the wife!
November 25th, 2008
9:36 pm
Forget the seven days thing. Nighttime can be a bit busy and tiring.
My suggestion?
Instead have “Hot Lunch” with the Mrs. Yes, that’s right. Go home for lunch. Have the Mrs. prepare something “speacial” for your meeting.
It really works! You save money on going out and eating greasy fastfood, or attempting to decide what you want to do for lunch (ever have one of those issues with cohorts trying to decide who wants to eat where? Pathetic!), and you will lose that middle spare tire! Awesome!
Remember guys, keep focused! Drive within the speed limit, obey traffic signals, lightly swear at the greyskulled snowbirds from out of state. Because when you get home, you really only have about ten minutes before having to get back and punch the clock.
Trust me, this is way better.
And it sounds so much better than “Nooner”. That is the older generation (baby boomers, etc.)
This is the meal plan for Generation XXX!
Later,
November 25th, 2008
10:03 pm
Dang, this is depressing. I’m married and celibate. Have been since March 9, 2000. Long story, but trapped and man do I mean trapped, in a loveless, sexless and totally dysfunctional marriage. I haven’t had sex 7 times in 15 years, let alone 7 days.
Jeez, that’s hard to type…
November 25th, 2008
10:15 pm
Lonestar, Time to take the fork in the road.
November 25th, 2008
11:34 pm
Jen,
Amen, madam. My marriage just ended because she didn’t really follow your rules. Sex was a weapon and was no fun, even once a month was unusual. I love the woman for everything else about her still to this day. I believe I could even put up with the nagging if the sex had at least happened weekly.
Instead I lost my best friend and became a hateful person most of the time.
Ladies…. I don’t give a shit if he says sex ain’t important to him. You better damn well believe it is to his ego and his subconscious then. Screw him. Frequently. And I guarantee your married Life will be better.
Subsunk
November 25th, 2008
11:43 pm
Yeah, I just blew in to town from Moronville also. Question for the ladies. If your wife never, ever, ever wants any morning sex or noon sex or afternoon sex, and insists only on right before sleep after 10:00 sex, what would be a good explanation for that? My guess is that she really ain’t that much in to it, but maybe there’s something else in play.
November 26th, 2008
12:09 am
I also got here from Ace’s, though I’ve been a casual reader of Jen’s for some time.
Here’s what I don’t understand on this issue. We men readily admit that women are a mystery to us, but so many women claim that they have men all figured out because we are such simple organisms. Then they turn around and ignore one of our simplest needs, driving us to seek it somewhere else. I’m not excusing infidelity, but honestly, if women really understand men, they won’t be surprised at what happens when they freeze them out.
November 26th, 2008
12:12 am
Another moron here.
I promise to feed him, f**k him, and not nag him if he will spend as much time playing with me as he does playing the f**king computer games. Until then, Everquest and WoW can do him.
November 26th, 2008
12:13 am
Lonestar, You need to explain this to your wife, calmly and rationally. Make it clear to her that you will attend to her needs as well. If she’s still not receptive to you, then you need to move on. Marriage is a partnership, and it doesn’t work if one party isn’t participating. That includes sex.
November 26th, 2008
12:14 am
Love sex! Tell me this – whassup with the husband not wanting it as much as the wife? Women get a bad rep for saying ‘no’ too much and ‘yes’ not often enough.
November 26th, 2008
12:18 am
RoamingFireHydrant,
I’d give you the same advice. Tell your husband what you just typed. Tell him you are ready NOW, and make him choose between you and the computer. If he’s a man, he’ll choose you.
November 26th, 2008
2:32 am
There are two parts to this. As a guy if you don’t do the things to make her feel appriciated for putting out, it’s not going to happen as much. Two way street. Still… women need to suck it up (shut up morons) and stop using sex as a weapon. It’s a tactic that destroys so many relationships.
November 26th, 2008
8:28 am
Thank you, Suburban Scarecrow, for the advice for me to get off my a** and make a move. You were right.
November 26th, 2008
8:41 am
Damn, first visit here and I’m terribly disappointed to learn that you’re ALREADY married. You love sushi, sex, computers, what’s not to like?
You have it nailed. We men are simple creatures… that’s why men and women make a great compliment to each other. I honestly don’t know how gay men/women can tolerate someone so similar to themselves.
November 26th, 2008
8:56 am
pendejo grande In answer to your post about why only at night… as a previously self-conscious women, I wonder if your wife might be self-conscious also. It’s taken me over 10 years of mariage to do it on top of the covers and now pretty much I’m confident. But that’s thanks only to my husband. Left to my own, i’d still be in the dark and under the covers. Another current thought is you guys may have no idea what mind trip our mothers have the ability to put on us girls. At the end of my mom’s spiel about the B&B, she looked sternly at me and said, “Remember dear, a man will say anything, promise anything to get into your pants; he’ll even say he loves you.” Another mind-trip put on a friend of mine by her mother was “You’ll go to hell if you enjoy sex. Sex is something to be endured.” So, please be patient and keep trying!!!! Given all that, I’ve come around and now want sex more than my hubby. Very, very sad!
November 26th, 2008
9:12 am
Pendejo Grande
Only wanting sex at night (in the dark) could really be a self conciousness issue. Women can be really uptight about how their bodies look naked. Maybe you could ask her about that and offer some reassurance.
November 26th, 2008
10:22 am
Three men were talking about their marriages and sex life.
The first man, a newlywed, said excitedly, “Sex is great. Four, five times a week.”
The second man, mumbled, ” Hell, I’m lucky to get it once a week. I get sex about twice a month.”
The third man, bouncing up and down, exclaimed, ” ONCE A YEAR!!”
The first two men look at him and one asks, “Then why are you so excited?”
“Because tonight’s the night!!”
November 26th, 2008
10:46 am
Jen,
You’ve got so many morons over here, you might have to start drinking Valu Rite and hunting Hobos.
Great read, sent it to my X wife who now “gets it”
Kemp
November 26th, 2008
11:02 am
Perhaps if my wife would shut up for longer then 2 seconds, I’d want to fuck her instead of my fist! I love my wife and we have great times together but I have to admit the biggest thing that blows the deal is her big fucking mouth….I’ve discovered that it’s the CUNT gene that is dominant with all women. I’ve resolved myself this late in life that yes you can be in love, but it’s just simpler and more convienient to jack off then to dodge the flapping gums, cause with all that talking she’s just not going to keep that dick in her mouth where it belongs.
It really doesn’t matter how cute she is or how big her tits are, the fact remains that women talk too fucking much and that is the main cause of Erectile Dysfunction in America today. Give me a woman with no voice, no teeth, and a flat head(where else can I sit my beer) any day.
By the way, CUNT is an acronymn for Cannot Understand Normal Thinking!
November 26th, 2008
11:06 am
Jen,
Don’t let this bit of Ace-fame go to your head, and abandon us in the Cave.
Great article, as always.
November 26th, 2008
11:08 am
“Feed ‘em, Fuck ‘em, and don’t nag ‘em.”
I see you’re married. Figures.
November 26th, 2008
12:21 pm
”
Another moron here.
I promise to feed him, f**k him, and not nag him if he will spend as much time playing with me as he does playing the f**king computer games. Until then, Everquest and WoW can do him.”
Roamingfirehydrant,
I am sure that your husband probably spends too much time on videogames, but something about your tone tells me there is a little more to the story. I am sure that you have a few faults of your own. And therein is the reason that women should all listen to Dr Laura. Seriously, get a subscription to her site and stream it.. I do. This is really simple. I bet that if you went up to him when he is playing a video game and said “I want you right now” that game would be turned off in about 2 nanoseconds. That is all you need to do. No ULTIMATUMS, no whining about your victim status.. Just that. And maybe cut him some slack every now and again. I am just guessing.
And Rogue, It doesn’t sound like you are god’s gift to your wife either. ANd I am sorry, masturbating is NEVER better than a real live woman..talking or not. Women like talking, men like sex. Each should respect the other on these and all will be well. Hell, small talk is worth a roll in the hay easily.
November 26th, 2008
2:32 pm
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November 26th, 2008
7:23 pm
Jen, Great post. I too am one of the legion of husbands who lost their wives because the relationship was emotionally severed, in no small part, due to lack of regular sex. In my case (this time around; yes, unfortunately I’m serial), the spiral began and escalated from two main factors: Emotional stresses in the relationship that placed a wedge between us, she stopped having a desire for regular sex and assumed that for the few times she expressed interest, I was so emotionally isolated that I didn’t feel like “turning it on” immediately out of fear of being disappointed again (she would express interest, but after kid stuff was done and time came around, she was too tired – rejection after promises of sex really sucks, so I withdrew); and She had a history of miscarriages – after a particularly horrible one in 2006, she completely shut down sexually out of fear of getting pregnant again. She refused to talk abouty it, or consider any sensual play short of intercourse, but then she got upset when I gave up and sought solace in chatting online. If you have read CS Lewis’ book The Four Loves, he has an amazing quote in regards to both partners’ requirements to actively maintain sexual intimacy in the relationship (emphasis mine):
So the standard female complaint regarding sex is that she can’t do it unless she feels emotionally connected to her husband – but what most women miss is, the man needs sex to be able to feel emotionally connected, and to give her the emotional link she needs. Therefore her fastest way to get her emotions back is to meet him halfway and be intimate with him, without doing it grudgingly. It doesn’t have to just be sex, either – can be as simple as holding each other naked in bed, provided that she doesn’t push him away if he wants sex with her. And for God’s sake, if she feels like he isn’t meeting her physical needs in sex (e.g., he wants to bang and then fall asleep), she needs to OPEN HER MOUTH AND TELL HIM PLAINLY how she feels. None of this “assuming he knows because it’s how I feel, so if he loved me he would know it” sh*t. /my $0.02
November 27th, 2008
9:02 am
“assuming he knows because it’s how I feel, so if he loved me he would know it” sh*t.”
This fallacy is one of the primary causes of a lot of failed relationships. Two of my past relationships (one marriage, one long term) ended primarily from my partner being disappointed in my lack of psychic ability to read her mind on some subject. My inability to instantly “know” what they wanted despite never having communicated their wishes or desires to me was somehow “proof” of my lack of love for them.
One got so bad she would leave little tests around the house to see if I would find them. About the third time in as many weeks as we went to bed she would say, “So, you didn’t notice {fill in the blank}?” I calmly got up, started packing and said if I couldn’t come home and relax in my own house without feeling like I was walking into a minefield then it wasn’t home.
That’s why they are ex’s.
Life is better now in many ways. Old adage of wishing I had known at 20 what I know in my 40s etc….
November 29th, 2008
6:59 am
I am a firm believer in frequent sex for the man. Nothing makes him sweeter and kinder than having his basic needs met. That being said, if you are the lady, I tell my friends, a few facts. 1. It is proven that your skin directly benefits. 2. It burns calories. 3. It takes all of ten minutes on a tired day and you will sleep peacefully when he tells you he loves you and slings his arm over you. He will also be MUCH more willing to listen to your rants/complaints once satisfied. The beautiful thing is, the complaints diminish on some level when you stop focusing on them and get your mind off. Great Post!!
December 3rd, 2008
11:57 pm
didn’t know where else to post this so here goes. 39 and you look hot in that picture, jen, very, and yes, you are a bitch but in a good way. wish you the best luck.
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