More Funnies from Email:

By jen

Mom sent me these and frankly I had to giggle because they are funny and as I read them I imagined Brian saying them because there is just something about his voice and that Mississippi “tone” that fits the sentiment. Some are oldies but goodies and some I haven’t heard before.  Good stuff…

Meet  Marvin, men’s answer to  Maxine… Men strike back!

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How  many men does it take to open a  beer?
None..  It should be opened when she brings  it.

Why  is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a  woman?

Because  a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine  will probably never be able to support you.

Why  do women have smaller feet than  men?
It’s  one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that  allows them  to stand closer to the kitchen  sink

How  do you know when a woman is about to say something  smart?
When  she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told  me….’

How  do you fix a woman’s watch?
You  don’t. There is a clock on the  oven.

If  your dog is barking at the back door and your  wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The  dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

I  married a Miss Right.
I  just didn’t know her first name was  Always.

Scientists  have discovered a food that  diminishes a  woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It’s  called a Wedding Cake.

Why  do men die before their wives?
They  want to.

Women  will never be equal to men  until  they can walk down the street with a bald  head and  a beer gut, and still think they are  sexy.

In  the beginning, God created the earth and rested  .
Then  God created Man and rested
Then  God created Woman.
Since  then, neither God nor Man has  rested.

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