Apr

23

Ten Things That Should Never Be Uttered by a Heterosexual Man…

By jen

Not if he wants me to respect him…


  1. “I’ll have a vente vanilla soy latte, please.”

  2. Honey, when can we scrapbook again?  ( i do not care how long it has been since your balls were emptied )

  3. Does my ass look fat in these jeans?

  4. I need a day at the spa.  (There is nothing wrong with a man going to a spa, you just cannot say it like that)

  5. I need more hair “product”.  (Men should never use the word “product”.  It screams I have no penis.)

  6. I think I need a boys day out!  (Men have “nights” out.  Just say, “I am going to the golf course/shooting range, hon.)

  7. I want to buy a prius.

  8. We never just sit and talk, honey.

  9. Let’s curl up in bed and watch Terms of Endearment!

  10. OMG!  It is time for Sex in The City!


Just sayin’

Share My Demure Ramblings:
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
RSS
Filed under: gender wars, jackassery, only woe lies here...
»
«

5 Responses so far

Dave in TexasNo Gravatar
April 23rd, 2009
8:40 pm

Does this holster make my ass look fat?

JoeNo Gravatar
April 24th, 2009
4:48 am

1) Black, dark roast coffee, no sugar.

2) Does that involve throwing away your old, worn-out porn mags?

3) I have a nice ass.  Gut…not so much.

4) I need a massage.  No, really.

5) Not a real concern in my case.

6) I just sit on the back porch or deck and have a beer.  Maybe throw a rock at a squirrel.

7) I’d rather walk.  A guy walking down the street is just a guy walking down the street.  A guy driving a Prius is…I’m not gonna answer this one.

8) Why do you think I have a girlfriend who doesn’t speak English?

9) We watched John Rambo last night.  I fell asleep, she kept watching.

10) And she also likes Dexter.

flashmanNo Gravatar
April 24th, 2009
9:59 am

My wife gives me crap if I ask if my Sig is printing.

SB SmithNo Gravatar
May 28th, 2009
1:41 pm

How about:
“Can’t your mom stay another week ?”
or
“I would LOVE to go shopping with you !”

»
«

Leave a comment