TDFU: A Bad Case of the Mondays Edition

By jen

Ahhh it was Monday.  You know what Mondays are for me?  They start with meetings and end with meetings and have short breaks in between to pee and eat lunch.  That should set the mood for this post.  Fuck meetings.

Clicked on a link in a tweet and ended up here.  Benefits of sweaty sex.  Ok, fuck you.  First of all, all sex, if done properly should end up sweaty.  Second, some of this shit in here is just ugh.  Look, I will be the first to admit to saying the following phrase, “I would like to lick the sweat off his neck” at the sight of some guy that was sweating on a tennis court (Rafa Nadal) or something like that.  That said the illustrious Sexpert on FoxNews says:

Releases more of our natural scents, particularly those around the groin, which can be an aphrodisiac, even if on a subconscious level.

Ok, fuck you.  Sweaty crotch is just not the odour du jour  I think works for most folks.   To further illustrate the absurdity of this article I give you:

Can have the two of you resembling the wet sleekness of “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit models, with slicked back hair or shiny skin

Oh yes, sweetheart.  That’s the ticket.  I know that everyone who is deep in the throes of sweaty sex stops and thinks, “Gee I wish Patrick Demarchelier or the late Herb Ritz were here to capture this moment of perspiration inspiration for us.  God we look fabulous!”  For a guy it is probably, “Sweet, she is sweaty I bet I could get her to take a shower with me after and nail her again.”  For the woman it is probably, “Gee, this is fun but I smell his pits, I hope we move this to the shower soon!”

You can also submerge your entire bodies under a down comforter for a rainforest effect.

Oh?  Because the wet spot isn’t big enough you need to generate a lake effect?  For fuck’s sake, this broad is paid for this shit?  I am soooo in the wrong gig and my cleavage is far more impressive than hers.  If you are gonna show the rack on a website like this, at least wear a wonder bra, honey.

Fuck you to the study which says 40% of all tweets on twitter are useless babble.  Listen, bitches… everything I say on twitter is valuable information and by virtue of coming out of my brain is valid and not babble, dammit!  It seems this study was done by a firm here in San Antonio and you know what?  I think they need to hear from me.  Bitches!  Now I will say there is way too much spam on twitter but I am selective on who I follow so I seem minimal.

On a final note… Fuck you to Babs Boxter.  I hope this gal sends you ass packing. It probably will not happen but you never know.  If the one thing the bitch in office can say bad is that the opponent is anti-abortion then good luck.  California’s economy is sucking shit and they are taxed to death.  Eventually they will start voting their pocketbook and then you will have to answer for your goddamn insanity.  Hopefully… maybe?  Oh yeah and Fuck you to The First Woman President aka Prince Fuknut :)