The Christmas Post

By jen

Ok, I am late with this.  Sue me!  Christmas was good this year, just ask the kids!  I didn’t even make it out to a mall until the 23rd.  I hate malls.  My folks came in the 23rd and of course we had to go to the mall to get something for Daughter No. 1.  I left the little ones and my father with my husband and headed out into the madness; and trust me… it was madness.  We went to La Cantera a.k.a “Locked in Terror” which is a lovely outdoor mall etc.  The parking lot was INSANE.  Cars everywhere.  My mother says, “Look at this glaring example of the terrible economic recession we are experiencing.”  Seriously, people were buying like crazy. 

We took plent of silly pictures, starting with this one of me and my husband at his Christmas party at Foga de Chao.  You know, I was holding my iPhone out to take out picture.  The couple sitting across from me, instead of taking the camera and snapping the picture just sat there and smiled at us.  I said, “Are we in frame?”  The guy was like uhm yeah sure there.  Hense this silly picture where I am talking and clicking the damn button at the same time.  Absolutely hate the camera on the iPhone.  Needs a mechanial button on the side.  Anyway, the onlyl thing i need in this picture is my pinky up at the corner of my mouth and “ONE BILLION DOLLARS!”

Normally I would never allow this image on the internet, but it is just amusing.  Mostly because I look fucking ridiculous!  Food was delish at Foga, of course, the party was eh because it was too crowded and I was tired.  However, I looked fabulous and was totally overdressed, but wtf.   I need to post pictures of the shoes I wore with these.  Aye Dios Mio!  They were fucking smoking hot and I was pretty much as tall as my husband in them. 

We did some last minute Shopping at the mall early on a Saturday.  I did the ghetto Santa pick that pisses everyone in the department store off!  I caught Santa standing outside, lined up my kids by him and took a pic!  he was a pretty Santa and I am not paying to have my 11 year old make faces like she doesn’t want to be in a picture so it was quick and yeah… i am that ghetto sometimes.  Neimans had a pretty Santa and in my defense I had just written a check for over a 100 bucks worth of make-up inside. 

Chrismast Eve was a good day, didn’t do much and was able to wrap all the gifts while the girls spent the morning with their father.  I managed to get everyone dressed for evening Mass without having to throw down any beatings which was nice.  Might have something to do with the fact I do not go and spend 600 bucks on fruu fruu clothes they can only wear once and whill hate having on.  I get stuff which is nice but can be worn again because otherwise it is like buying bridesmaids dresses every year.  Hense I had a six year old in Gap’s finest leggings, tutu skirt and sweater with purple roll down boots.  I had a skinny 9 year old in black jeans stuffed in brown leather knee hight boots and a cream and chocolate hoodie, a 11 year old in a dress and strip sweeater of her choosing, and of course a 20 year old who can dress herself.  I figured I dress everday for work so I have a closet full of church appropriate clothing. 

Heh the 20 year old has three inch heels on which is the only reason she is taller than the 11 year old. 

Anyway, church was an adventure.  We get there a bit early to get a seat, of course my father had gone to park his car and we had assembled improperly when he arrived and had to shift, not once, but three times until we were all ordered according to his specifications.  The folks in the row behind us were amused as we attempted to squeeze everyone into the row in a specific order.  I needed a hot of tequila by this point.   

The mass started and I was tweeting, which I am sure I will have to answer for some day.  I am not pleased with the churches here in town. I have been here for years and have yet to find a church where i felt any sense of community or with a priest that doesn’t make me to want to go to sleep.  This particular priest has an affinity for the incense.  So he is trying to kill me essentially.  I sneeze and wheeze through mass.  Daughter no 4 is sound asleep before the first reading, as usual.  After communion I thought we were in the clear, but noooo there was some seminary guy who was going to say a few words before the offering for seminary students.  I got about two sentences into his speech when he talked about his “calling” being more about how “he lost his job and thought wtf?  Maybe mom was right I should become a priest.”   I shit you not folks, this guy is becoming a priest because he probably lost his job at Best Buy and ran out of unemployment benefits.  Needless to say I rolled mid speech and said to my parents who NEVER leave before the priest, “I feel a calling… a calling to go into the foyer and wait because I am too loudmouthed to endure this.”

Then the priest gets back up and I can here him talking from out in the foyer where my kids are saying how much they love me for getting them out of the smokey room where the man was rambling about not having a job.  I hear the Monsignor talking about how everyone should wait for him to get out of the church before leaving. He was actuallyscolding people, HAH!  He needs to retire.  I was waiting for my folks with a smile as they came out shortly after the Monsignor who part of me wishes would have said something like, “Oh, leaving early?”  So I could have said, “Yeah, I had all the tales of soon to be Father Ricky of the Sacred Unemployed.”  I am jaded folks, really I am.  This started when daughters no 3 and 4 made their first communion and it was a fiasco and not in a good way.  It was absurd and unimportant and nothing like it should have been or was when I was a kid.  Worst part of mass?  They sing the Profession of Faith!  Ugh.  I just want an old school mostly spoken not everything singing mass with a priest that can speak without puttng me to sleep.  For the record, Mass should never last longer than 1 hour.  If it is, you have too much singing in it.  It is cruel and horrible for it to go on for nearly 2 hours on Chrismast Eve with a church full of kids 

After the Mass insanity came home and had some tamales!  Mmmm we worked a few jigsaw puzzles, baked some cookies, and relaxed.  Santa came overnight and well… the kids were thrilled…

Needless to say the haul for the kiddos was pretty sweet and I had a thing or two under the tree as well. I got a coat from my folks and a Cuisinart submersible blender as well.  Dave and the girls got me a Kindle, wooot!  All good.