Let’s talk about fashion today. Let’s talk about how it is NEVER going to be ok to wear certain things to work. I have spent the last year becoming more and more convinced I can not be surprised about what people will put on in the morning and consider it appropriate for work. I am always proven wrong, I can be surprised if not mortified. In the last few weeks I have been witness to some amazing sights.
Highlights and Observations:
1. It is never ok to wear rubber flip flops/shower shoes to work. Even with a freakin’ skirt and jacket… ESPECIALLY with a skirt and jacket.
2. It is never ok to wear cotton, denim, or knit capri pants to work. It is even less ok to wear a sleeveless v-neck t-shirt with them. This is what I refer to as “home depot couture” and has no place at work!
3. Attention men: Jewel toned shirts or vibrant colored shirts have no place at work. They actually have no place in your closet, but that is neither here nor there.
4. If you own a tie bought before y2k throw it the hell away…NOW
5. Sandals are never ok at work. That is my opinion. That said, if you wear them, for the love of GOD get a pedicure. No one wants to see your klingon battle talons all funky and crusty. ugh
6. Common misconception, gals… Clothing does not suddenly become work worthy by virtue of putting a pair of heels on with them. Shorts are never ok at work. They are still not OK with heels.
7. Misconception #2, gals… cut off white denim knee shorts are not work appropriate, even if you put on a fucking blazer with them and heels. OMG really? Frayed hem!
8. Sleeveless shirts, dresses, tanks, camis whatever… NONE OF THAT IS WORK APPROPRIATE! I do not care that on tv the women working in high powered jobs are often wearing micro mini skirts and sleeveless mini dresses. It is not professional unless you are a call girl.
9. I know I am in a minority when I say this one, but for the love of GOD why don’t women were stockings anymore? It is soooo not ok to have a nice pair of shoes and shove your bare fucking sweaty feet into them. To me, a dress or skirt is to be worn with stocking unless it is a sundress and sundresses are not to be worn at work! It is just gross to listen to people with sticky feet in their shoes all day. You know their feet stink and it just disgusts me.
10. If you are going to wear a jersy dress to work, there is nothing wrong with this per se, but if you are worried about a pantie line the answer is not to wear a thong, you fucking idiot. I do not care if you have the ass of a 23 year old tennis player (which you do not) it is just fucking gross. Why? I will tell you why! Even if I can get past the fact you still have a panty line honey, it is just higher… Even if i can get past the fact you were too stupid to wear hose and/or a slip… I can not get over the fact that every time you take a step your clingy dress is getting lodged inn your ass crack. This is wildly inappropriate and really fucking nasty.
ugh… the world has no fucking class anymore.