T-19 Days…

By jen

Until my project deadline arrives. That is why I have not even managed my weekly or twice a month post.  I was stumbling again on the web and came across this page with “snappy comebacks and one-liners”

There are some really great ones that I either have used in my day to day life or plan to immediately at work.  I love to share so here are a few of my favorites.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.

I’m already visualizing the masking tape over your mouth.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.  (AMEN!!!)

I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!

It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

8 Responses so far

Thank you for those musings. Good to see you back as well.

Having just finished living with a hubby who had a major design project – I understand greatly the lack of communication. I love one liners and wish I’d been able to master them – but my Mama use to smack the crap out of me just for answering without a Yes Ma’am No Ma’am so anything more would have knocked me into next week. I love the – I’m not being rude one – I hope I can remember it to use when necessary. Of late I am learning how to drive while holding down my left hand to keep from flipping off the other drivers.

”......but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy”

Love that one.

After putting a couple of sweeteners in my coffee I was cornered by the office health nazi and regaled on the evilness of all those additives blah, blah blah….   I replied, “I’ve heard the life expectancy of proselytizing health nuts is measured in minutes. Especially if I hadn’t had my first cup of coffee yet.”
I’m such a bastard.
P.S. Captcha was “oiled” and “wank”.  Heh.   Sweeet!

Looking foirward to your return. we will need your incisive commentary in October and post election day.

I am so sorry for the runaway link.

Here’s a few more:

Apparently you’ve mistaken me for someone who gives a shit.

If I throw a stick, will you leave ?

How can I miss you if you won’t go away ?

You know…you can get help for that.
You know…you can have surgery to fix that.

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