94 things about me! Updated 3 June 2014  


  1. I am 38 39 41 better known as 39 with 2 years experience.    45 and fab

  2. I am still a conservative and more hypocritical disgruntled bitchy  Disillusioned than ever.

  3. I added another Ex to the list.  Yeah, marriage is not for me.    

  4. I have spent a 2 4 8 years soul searching and finally feel things are good for me, to quote Tupac..“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” 

  5. Tampon commercials still piss me off and those fucking Quiznos commercials. Add to that pet commercials and erectile dysfunction commercials. I simply do not care about your pet or your cock.  Sorry.  ** Update:  WTF is up with the uverse wireless commercials with the puppets and the human husband.  SO NOT OK.  

  6. I have no idea how I lived before my ROKU box and Amazon Prime.  Buy them both… TODAY

  7. Blades of Glory amuses me way too much.  Still true!

  8. I have quit smoking 4 times this year… for weeks even… then I have a really bad day at work.  So here is the plan… it is hot as fuck in Texas right now and who wants to go outside?  So I have bought my last pack!  Update soon…

  9. I have embraced my coffee addiction, mmmm coffee. Cafe du Monde makes life worth living. Yep, still there.  OMG Keurig changed my life.  LOVE LOVE LOVE

  10. I have even less ZERO tolerance for dumbasses.  Yet I am still surrounded by them.  Yeah, that shit is never gonna change.

  11. I still cannot spell and STILL do not give a fuck. Fuck you and your dictionary.  I now have people for that shit…

  12. I have embrace the date format of the US Military. Today is 21 Jan 08 7 Feb 2010

  13. My oldest daughter is 18 20  24 and Pregnant! OMG she got married about a year and a half ago… pregnant by her anniversary.  Its a BOY!  WTF do we do with a boy?  :)  So excited.

  14. Sarah aka Jen’s Keeper is THE SHIT!  She makes work not only successful but endurable.  Sarah is still queen shit of fuck mountain!  LOVE HER SO MUCH!

  15. I have a 9 11 15 year old daughter

  16. I have a 8 9  14 year old daughter

  17. I have a 4 6  10 year old daughter

  18. I am writing again, really good smutty stuff.  Yeah, about this.  Still doing it just working too damn much.  Someday…

  19. I am STILL one of the best cooks I know. Like this is gonna change?  Well I do not have time to cook so now I dread it.  Sucks…

  20. I am Catholic.  This sort of stuff doesn’t change.  I say you are born Catholic and some folks stray, but they usually die Catholics when all is said and done.

  21. I am short.  Yeah, not much movement on this either, but I work in 4.5 inch stilettos everyday so I am perceived as “taller”  Left BAH and left the shoes behind.  Shit was hurtin, but i looked good.  I still have a few pair for special times!

  22. I wear glasses.  I need new ones!

  23. I love Doctor Who The Voice and Fringe Sherlock obsessively.

  24. I don’t have time for anything, especially parking.

  25. I am still trying to figure out this whole World Domination thing… I am so easily distracted.

  26. I hope my girls breed me lots of granddaughters. Boys will do, though I still think they have cooties.  I realize I will probably have nothing but grandsons, but allow me my fantasy.  I am obviously psychic!  

  27. Software developers and nerdy/geeky guys make me hot.  I dig brainy guys.

  28. I do not have nearly enough shoes  Plants in my yard!

  29. I have a new frangrance, incase you want to know what I smell like. Dolce and Gabbana’s The One.  I still smell like The One.  Yep… cannot change a good thing until it is no longer a good thing.

  30. I need to get my Sharepoint certification.  Yeah, about this.  I might get it, but I am thinking more ITIL or Knowledge Management now.  I have evolved.  UPDATE:  Screw certifications… ain’t no body got time for that!  

  31. I feel restless

  32. My hair is long again!  It is getting there!  We are rocking the Bob because we are The Fabulous!

  33. I like cheese alot.  Duh!

  34. I love my ipad Mini

  35. My goddamn tax check is late! I want to be stimulated, dammit! I am being punished for success and have to write out a huge check to be spent by a bunch of fucking idiots in congress.  TAX CHECK??? WTF  is that?  I write checks to the IRS now, bitches.  

  36. I make the best queso in the world and the best Mac&Cheese in the world.

  37. The sight of Oprah Winfrey makes me want to hurl. Everything about her is false and nauseated. Ditto on Obama and his Klingon War Bride.

  38. I love nutella.  I also love Town House Crackers.  

  39. I fucking hate Root Beer.

  40. I have a Kindle and an iPhone and I love them both!  Kindle on ipad mini… nirvana!  Also… Audible is THE SHIT.

  41. I need a new mac laptop! Desktop car.  I want a Lexus or a Volvo.  I want a paid off car.

  42. I love my car still it is just getting older and I need more Fabulous.  Yeah I got another one… it is almost paid off… that is sexy.  No car note is sexy.

  43. I love my Jacuzzi bathtub almost as much as a human baby…Bought a house in 2012… big tub no jets… still love the tub.  Love the house.

  44. I work with women and enjoy it, a first.  Then that shit goes bad every time… except for Sarah.  She is special.

  45. I love my job.

  46. I have a love/hate relationship with my cat.

  47. I hate Facebook

  48. I need to go back to Vegas this year  UPDATE:  I need Vegas more than ever.

  49. I am kind of a big deal… in my mind   No, I really am!!

  50. I still use the word fuck when i probably shouldn’t, like at work and shit. Fuck ‘em if they cannot handle it.  I also make obscene gestures such as the “jacking off” gesture and I grab both my tits like a guy grabs his dick when he wants to make a point like, deal with it.

  51. I could eat soup everyday.

  52. I think “smoothies” are fucking stupid. Especially the healthy ones.  There are usually enough calories in these bastards to equal a fucking cheeseburger.

  53. I love Ahi Tuna

  54. I buy way too many e-books.  Amazon is like crack.  click and buy!

  55. I am almost optimistic postal Optimistic again these days

  56. I love my Keurig

  57. I bought a kick ass laptop case that rolls and has skulls on it!    Way too many Vera Bradley totes and bags over the last few years.  I LOVE them.

  58. I work on a military base… still Sort of a secured military controlled building now.

  59. I work in IT… Sharepoint Admin now! Yay… not. I am a Solutions Architect, whatever that means!  I plan shit, fix fucked up shit, and generally manage the flow of information in whatever collaborative system it resides.  Still doing this, just with the best staff possible and for 100x the users.  :)

  60. I have 4 tattoos… still I need another one… a big one.  I want shoulder caps… 

  61. I need to have dinner at Filomena in Georgetown  OMG NOW

  62. I am always Bad Cop and Devil’s Advocate at work… that’s how I roll.  Now I am bad cop, queen bitch, but I have a Devil’s Advocate on the team so I have  given up that role.  I am still a Necessary Evil to most people.  

  63. My hair is more than a little grey these days and that blows.  I have gotten over it…  Mostly… it is what it is and it is kind of stripey

  64. I love BBC TV.

  65. I need more money

  66. I think all congressmen and senators need to go find a new job.

  67. I want to take a Culinary Vacation where you go somewhere and stay in a posh hotel and take a few cooking courses.  Eat really great food prepared by really great chefs.

  68. I am disgusted by the number of grown ass women who try to dress like their children.

  69. I am addicted to MAC Laura Mercier makeup

  70. I love my Chi Flat iron

  71. I am running out of things to say.

  72. Printers Project Server is evil… evil i tell you.

  73. I am currently reading Nalini Singh’s Shield of Winter.  Nalini is who I want to be when I grow up.

  74. I am a cheap drunk.

  75. I love working but I miss staying home with the kids and blogging

  76. I am still aggressive

  77. I am still blunt

  78. I am  more opinionated than ever

  79. I am intolerant of far more things than ever

  80. I am, according to some Meyers Briggs personality thingie an ESTJ which means I am all of the above but i get shit done.

  81. I am what I am and I know WHO I am.  That means something.

  82. I think body hair is oogy.

  83. I am allergic to hair color and stupid people.

  84. I get a pedi every other week and have been using OPI Swimsuit Nailed It pretty much for a year.  Best Color Ever!

  85. I still do my toes.  I like blue toenail polish best.

  86. I am totally AT&T’s bitch.

  87. I find young people more and more annoying as the days pass.  Except Sarah, I think she is a mutant.

  88. I love cooking shoe shopping  High School Football in Texas.

  89. I hate cleaning up and shopping .

  90. I miss all my readers and appreciate the 15 of you who are left.

  91. I still want to go to Bora Bora

  92. We have a cat now, his name is Grey… he is a demon.  Fits right in.

  93. I am crazed at work, but i am blessed to have a great job with great people.

  94. I am just simply blessed.  Even with all the marriage bullshit… I am lucky.


Fifty more things about Jen. Because the first 100 were not nearly enough.

  1. I distrust almost everyone until proven otherwise.

  2. I am cranky a great deal, but it is my shtick.

  3. I am a fixer and get very mad when I cannot fix things or people.

  4. I have a secret love of plaid and toile.

  5. I think Forrest Gump is possibly the most overrated film ever right up there with SIDEWAYS.

  6. I would rather spend the day writing, reading, or watching TV than something more adventurous and/or profitable.

  7. I love sushi

  8. I want to move.

  9. I have no pets and never will again unless something drastic happens to my POV, like a head injury rendering me unable to remember my ex-husbands animals!

  10. I am very passive aggressive when pissed off.  I am the queen of patronization.

  11. I have gotten combative in my dotage.  I am downright cantankerous now.

  12. I need at least one TWO Lattes a day.

  13. I would rather have a Vente Cafe latte quiet day at home than just about anything else.

  14. I eat organ meat.

  15. I am emotionally attached to my iPhone and suffer separation anxiety when it is not in my hand.

  16. I am a dirty/filthy girl.

  17. I would rather have a handful of great friends than many friends who I do not really know.

  18. I love Cosmo’s.

  19. This country is in the shitter and it pisses me off.

  20. I am a homebody.

  21. I love buying pretty panties.

  22. Pedicures are a cure for just about everything that makes me mad.

  23. I want to learn how to drive a manual transmission. Fuck it… not really.

  24. I love vampire movies.

  25. I refuse to get my degree.

  26. I wish I had a housekeeper.

  27. I would go batshit crazy without Sarah and my family in my life.

  28. I have 200 1800+ books on my kindle.

  29. I love soda pop.

  30. I do not give a rat’s ass about Gay marriage.

  31. I love loathe doing web design.

  32. I am currently reading The Accidental Vampire. Warrior: The Time Hunter Archangel’s Kiss Shield of Winter by Nalini Singh I am sure it is awesome, she doesn’t do anything else.

  33. I secretly enjoy certain Rap music. Because I enjoy filthy music… sue me.

  34. I do not go out dancing nearly enough.

  35. I have grown to hate grocery stores.

  36. I really love airports with Starbucks in them. Except Newark Airport.  Nothing can make up for it being NEWARK.

  37. I wish I was more disciplined disciplined morehahaha

  38. I need an iPhone app to clean my house.

  39. I really fucking need the Powerball.

  40. I have ALOT of maxi dresses.

  41. I need more pencil skirts  Maxi dresses

  42. I do not have enough boob shirts.

  43. I may actually get to CPAC The Beach this year.

  44. If I love a song I will listen to it until I cannot bear it anymore.

  45. I would be a super fantastic Supreme Ruler of America.

  46. Liberals piss me off more than ever.  So do Conservatives…

  47. I need more pedicures

  48. I love croutons.

  49. I would rather give up chocolate than cheese.

  50. The song Hemorrhage (In My Hands) by Fuel STILL turns me on.