Spend another hour in the “Bag check-in” line which is amazing really.  I am convinced the requirement to work in the bag check in line is “Moves very fucking slow”

Guy standing behind me smelled like sardines and I was getting nauseated.  Honestly, I needed a cocktail at 845am.  I might be totally ok with morning boozing, but even I do not usually crave a tequila shot before 10am.

Got to security after dropping off my obnoxious hot pink and purple trimmed suitcase, yeah… laugh it up guys.  I can find that bad boy as soon as it hits the conveyor belt at baggage claim.  You all can stand there with your smug trendy selves waiting for your super fab black samsonite bag.  I am OUT!

So, apparently you cannot take your coke with you through security.  I think this is a racket for the airport in cahoots with the gift shop just inside the check points.  I dumped a new coke and then had to go buy another one!

I got scanned and I am not sure how I feel about that.  Wanted to ask the guy if he liked my new bra, but felt he might not have my sense of humor.  Apparently I was good to go and headed straight for the giftshop for another coke.  They don’t sell tequila.

Sitting here now at the gate waiting for my flight that is… wait for it… delayed!  How can it be delayed already?!  oy.  So I try to get on the wifi here, yeah that blows.  It is a tease actually.  Says you are on but you really are not!.  Thanks be to GOD for my verizon air card!  They just think they can keep me off the internets!

So, i am sitting here watching this older man with a beautiful baby boy who I am sure belongs to his 16 year old or so daughter who is sitting by her fresh out of boot camp hubby.  So young.  I am looking around at people sleeping and snoring.  Kids running amok, and have come to a couple of conclusions.

1.  American Airlines blows… obviously

2.  Women really need to sit with their legs closed.  Just cuz you are in shorts doesn’t mean you need to spread ‘em like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton.  OMG  way too much thigh spread and just ew…

3.  The American Airlines people are always so well dressed and yet to amazingly unapologetic about fucking up your day with delays.  at least they could give e a freakin’ drink ticket!!!

4.  I am watching people bustle for position in line to board the early flight.  I am not sure why they are doing this.  You have an assigned seat folks!!!

5.  OMG sardines guy is on my flight.  If he is sitting by me I might end up barfing.

I need food…  actually I need a cigarette but of course there is no lounge here in the air port.  They had a nice one in Tampa.  Ok, I am going find something to munch on.  More from Dallas where i am sure i will be delayed until Thursday!

Speaking of boobs, is it just me or does Obama make everyone throw up a little in their mouth when he talks?  Speaking of Prince Fabulous… I am going to Chicago next week, never been there, I cannot wait to soak in the city that gave us the super duper agent of change. I think I should schedule lunch with Rahm.  Thoughts?

I have recently discovered Shellac nail stuff.  It takes half the time of tips and fills and they are spiffy!  I have red nails and i am constantly distracted by them… sparkles!  Actually i am distracted because i have been doing the french manicure for so long anything else makes me feel all silly.  I mitigate this with my dark blue sparkle toes.

Speaking of toes and Chicago.. the folks at the hotel where my conference is say they are sold but i can go down to another hotel “just down the road” walking distance.  Uh huh… I googled it, it is like a mile.  I said walking distance?!  I am from Texas, honey… we drive to the neighbor’s house.  Walk shmalk… a mile in stilettos?  Really?

I have discovered Audible and am now incapable of driving without listening to a book.  Hell I don’t even really mind the drive home anymore.  I listened to Game of Thrones first off, it was great didn’t think i could find much better for narration etc.  That said, i am halfway through Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson and it is even better. I have been wanting to read this trilogy but haven’t been able to get in the mood.  Highly recommend it. I know now why he was selected to finish the Wheel of Time series, great world building in this book.  Next up I might get some sort of vampire porn or something, only concern is that I will wreck the car laughing the first time I hear a narrator talking about a throbbing shaft or moist cavern or some such shit.

I wonder if i will get scanned at the air port?  I should choose a bra with little metal blings or something that makes smiley faces and matching panties.  Since this is for work I am flying whatever carrier they stick me with and of course they stuck me with American Airlines which means I am flying through Dallas which means I will probably be blogging belligerence about delays and other shit.  Meh.

Is it just me or has House become really depressing?

I think Sarah and I have a new record number of games going at once on the iPhone.  I think we are playing three Words with Friends and two Scrabbles.  I think there was a Wordsworth game going on as well.  Love my phone…

More soon!

What the actual fuck is going on with me?  A shitload of work, that’s what.  A shitload of work, kids who as they get older have these things called “school activities and responsibilities”.  Totally cuts into my blogging, reading, writing, and shoe shopping time.  So I will just unload on some of the shit in the world that is working my last fucking nerve.

1. Let’s take a quick review of my predictions about Obama from October of 2008

We will have more poor people even after throwing more money at the existing programs and creating a whole shitload of new ones.

Cuba will become a top US vacation destination and not just for terrorists.  Isn’t it time we forgive Fidel anyway?  We can follow this with National Che Day.

The cost of absolutely everything will go up.  Gas, food, homes, utilities, education, health care.

Race relations in this country will be set back to circa 1975.

I got a few wrong, but he still has time to jack the rest of it up.

2. Why oh why is the world so freakin’ obsessed with wedge shoes.  They are ugly, clompy, and have no freakin’ place at work.  DSW has four freakin’ aisles of this shit.  STOP THE INSANITY.

3.  I have been obsessively reading Urban Fantasy.  Some recommendations for you…

Deadtown series by Nancy Holzner
October Daye series by Seanan McGuire (I was slow to warm to this first book but i love it now)
Horngate Witches by Diana Pharaoh Francis (not your normal witch series.  nothing cutesy about it.)
The Edge series by Ilona Andrews (anything by this writing duo is top notch)
The Black Sun’s Daughter series M.L.N. Hanover (This series really grew on me and male authors in this genre are new for me)
Rogue Mage series by Faith Hunter

I love my Kindle and my Kindle App!

4.  Do you know how difficult it is to try and blog while I am watching Adam Levine on TV?

5.  I am still trying to process this whole Japan nightmare.  I still cannot wrap my brain around it.

6.  I have been thinking alot about blogging but have been just totally unwilling to focus as I am sure is reflected in this attempt at it.

So, I will not say I will be back tomorrow or this weekend but I will say I am still here, still bitchy, and still totally not understanding why the world is full of so many stupid freakin’ people!  Thanks for all the emails asking where I am and shit.  They are appreciated!  My girls are all doing great, thanks be to GOD.  Me, I am still working the demure gig and pissing people off.  We all have to do what we are good at.

:)

Highlights and Observations:

1.  It is never ok to wear rubber flip flops/shower shoes to work.  Even with a freakin’ skirt and jacket… ESPECIALLY with a skirt and jacket.

2.  It is never ok to wear cotton, denim, or knit capri pants to work.  It is even less ok to wear a sleeveless v-neck t-shirt with them.  This is what I refer to as “home depot couture” and has no place at work!

3.  Attention men:  Jewel toned shirts or vibrant colored shirts have no place at work.  They actually have no place in your closet, but that is neither here nor there.

4.  If you own a tie bought before y2k throw it the hell away…NOW

5.  Sandals are never ok at work.  That is my opinion.  That said, if you wear them, for the love of GOD get a pedicure.  No one wants to see your klingon  battle talons all funky and crusty.  ugh

6.  Common misconception, gals… Clothing does not suddenly become work worthy by virtue of putting a pair of heels on with them.  Shorts are never ok at work.  They are still not OK with heels.

7.  Misconception #2, gals… cut off white denim knee shorts are not work appropriate, even if you put on a fucking blazer with them and heels.  OMG really?  Frayed hem!

8.  Sleeveless shirts, dresses, tanks, camis whatever… NONE OF THAT IS WORK APPROPRIATE!  I do not care that on tv the women working in high powered jobs are often wearing micro mini skirts and sleeveless mini dresses.  It is not professional unless you are a call girl.

9.  I know I am in a minority when I say this one, but for the love of GOD why don’t women were stockings anymore?  It is soooo not ok to have a nice pair of shoes and shove your bare fucking sweaty feet into them.  To me, a dress or skirt is to be worn with stocking unless it is a sundress and sundresses are not to be worn at work!  It is just gross to listen to people with sticky feet in their shoes all day.  You know their feet stink and it just disgusts me.

10. If you are going to wear a jersy dress to work, there is nothing wrong with this per se, but if you are worried about a pantie line the answer is not to wear a thong, you fucking idiot.  I do not care if you have the ass of a 23 year old tennis player (which you do not) it is just fucking gross.  Why?  I will tell you why!  Even if I can get past the fact you still have a panty line honey, it is just higher…  Even if i can get past the fact you were too stupid to wear hose and/or a slip…  I can not get over the fact that every time you take a step your clingy dress is getting lodged inn your ass crack.  This is wildly inappropriate and really fucking nasty.

ugh… the world has no fucking class anymore.

On to the show…

Crazed Sex Poodle, are you fucking kidding me? Imagine my surprise that the world’s most arrogant self centered ass is a fucking predatory male!  Imagine my surprise that the man who was vice president to the slimiest bastard to ever hold office tries to get a “happy ending massage” from a legitimate massage therapist.  Fucking please… Really? I will admit the whole crazed sex poodle thing conjures images of Extreme Poodle on TLC and made me giggle.   Am I shocked this comes days after the announcement of the break up of the couple that inspired Love Story?  Oh for fuck’s sake.  No one with that much pent up hostility and unrequited ambition could be anything other than a fucking Crazed Sex Poodle.  You know the worst part of this whole thing?  Not that he obviously likes to treat massage therapists as hookers, but that I have to fucking see his swollen fucking head on the news again.  I bet Bill Clinton is laughing his ass off as he hears about this while sandwiched between two middled aged bleach blonde hair dressers who call him “Big Daddy.”   Fuck you, Al and you can stick that in your “Lock Box” and save it for a rainy day.

==

Sir Paul McCartney is a douche.  Yeah, that is not news, but I really gotta acknowledge this particular achievement in douchebaggery by the most overrated musician of all time and enviroweenie:  Talking about the oil spill insanity…

The Beatles legend said: “Sadly we need disasters like this to show people. Some people don’t believe in climate warming – like those who don’t believe there was a Holocaust.

“I don’t accept the criticism of Barack over the oil spill.”  ”I think he’s been great. It’s tough if we Brits whinge that he’s whingeing at us. Tough, then don’t spill oil.”

This man is a goddamn genius.  An intellect of such astounding depth that I am feeling pretty bad about myself for thinking that not only is Barak Obama the biggest bumbling fucking idiot on the planet but that Sir Paul is a pathetic vegan loving piece of shit.  What is wrong with me?  Oh yeah, I have a fucking brain in my head and said head is not lodged in my ass.  Fuck you, Paul.  Go count your money or just go shut up and color.  Just stop fucking talking.

==

OMG!  You mean Obama might fucking be corrupt?  Say it isn’t fucking so!!! Yeah, Blagodouche’s trial is getting ugly.  I hope their is a sex tape and a cocaine tape and a donkey in Tijuana tape and everything else.  Congratulations again to the citizens of the USA who voted Prince Fuknut into office.  I am so fucking impressed with both the Hope and the Change going on.  If your hope was to have the biggest moron possible in charge of the world, you are a fucking winner.  If you the change you were after is what is left after you pay taxes then you are on a fucking streak.  Head to Vegas, mother fuckers.  Fuck you, Fuck you, and Fuck you again voting public for giving us four years of global humiliation and oh yeah… the worst possible economic future for our children.  Go Team!!!

==

Whooping Cough Epidemic in California should scare the shit out of everyone.  The article basically blames parents for not vaccinating their kids.  Valid point. I was talking about this just the other day.  This particular disease is not to be played with. A parent who chooses not to vaccinate their kiddos for pertussis is just asking to plan a funeral because the shit is virulent and horrible.  Yeah it is California, home of the all natural green loving tree hugging organic food gives me an orgasm crowd, but they need to get over themselves. If they do not want to vaccinate their healthy little offspring then they need to keep them out of public schools.

That said, there is absolutely NO mention of the off the chart number of illegal immigrants who are in California with their many children who have probably never scene a vaccine. Could it be that allowing a huge number of people to swarm into a country without any regulation and become a part of the community without having to do pesky things like get vaccinated you might have an issue with this sort of stuff?  Correct me if i am on the wrong path here, but it just seems like it might possibly have something to do with this as much as parents too stupid to have their kids vaccinated.  Fucking stupid shit.

==

Finally a few observations that need mentioning:

1. Nancy Pelosi is still a useless dried up old cunt

2. Obama is a wanker

3. There isn’t a fucking thing to watch on TV and i am pissed off

4. I really need to buy a new pair of shoes. – The Demure One

A bunch of things that are on my mind:

1.  Hass Avocados are one of God’s perfect creations; cut in half and get a spoon.  Doesn’t even need salt if it is just ripe enough.

2. World cup soccer makes me happy.  I am not a huge soccer fan per se, but I am a serious fan of soccer thighs.  I am certain that the current match usa vs england has the highest “hip thingie” saturation of any sporting event in history.  Dear god there are some bangin’ hot men on the field and more than one shaved head.

3. Obama is a fucking wanker. Read a headline at Hotair says something about not being able to suck up the BP oil spill with a straw.  I would argue he probably has mad straw skills from his cocaine days.  just sayin’

4. I am having a tomato phase.  I bought a pack of yellow cherry tomatoes.  Mmmm like candy.

5.  The expendables looks like fun. I know it will probably suck, but really it looks like a perfect way to spend 2 hours of my day.

One of the trailers has Arnold and Bruce in it and with the cast added in the only thing missing is Jesse Ventura.

6.  My kids are out of town and I have no idea what to do with myself.

7. The fact I have over 300 books on my kindle means I need some sort of 12 step program I think.

8. I am not a fan of the new Roku netflix interface.  I like the idea but I am just not liking the reality of it.

9. No, I do not think your EVO is The Shit. I own an iPhone.  Puhleaze.

10. The world is full of fucking idiots.

This is never good. Now I am twice as pissed as I would have been and feeling extremely disrespected. Only woe lies there…

High heels ladies!!

I call the Doc the next week because I have heard nothing and they say, “Oh, they were suppose to contact you they need more films on your left breast you have a suspicious calcification.  Call them…k?  Bye now!”

WHAT!?  Let it be stated for the record that I medicate for anxiety and I am Mexican.  We think we are dying whenever we have a hangnail.  I call the xray place they say, “We made you an appointment for next month.”

WHAT?!!  I obviously have a gigantic tumor eating at my breast and you want me to wait a month?  I said, “No, how about tomorrow?”

“Well, we are booked so how about two weeks?”

“No, how about tomorrow?”

“Well, ma’am we…”

“NO, FUCKING DO IT TOMORROW!”

“Oh, ok… 9am?”

So I go back and get another smash on Friday and the gal shows me the little calcification she is going to reshoot magnified.  OH GOD.  More discoveries… a 38H can be smashed to 1/4 inch if needed.  By this point I am beyond sore, PMSing, and having a nervous breakdown every ten minutes about my impending death by flesh devouring breast tumors.  She was bright enough to say, “Please wait so the Doctor can look at the films incase i didn’t get what he needed”

She comes out a little while later says I am good to go and they will get the results to the doctor.  I said, “Today?”

“Uhmm probably Monday or Tuesday.”

“Today?”

‘Maybe Monday morning.”

“TODAY!!!!!”

“You should have your GYN call this afternoon if you do not want to have to wait.”  shuddering mammogram tech says recoiling from the medusa snakes writhing on my head.

Went back to shopping with Sarah and then headed over to the Tap Exchange for a beer.  God i needed a beer since no one was going to get back to me because you know, that is how these fuckers roll these days.  Hubby met us at the pub and another coworker.  Was on beer 3 when the GYN’s secretary calls and says, “Just wanted to let you know the radiologist called Dr. Chang and they agree you need a biopsy.”

“Ok… what did the report say?”

“Uhmm… dunno.  Just wanted you to know try not to worry.  Bye now!”

OMG, really?!  So what do I do?  Other than drink more beer and prepare for my death?  Call my mother.  She says, “Ok, call MD Anderson’s Undiagnosed Breast Center in Houston and tell them you want to be seen and biopsied there.”

Thankfully my kids were actually with my folks all week for spring break in Nederland.  I called Anderson on Monday they said it would be 3 weeks until they could get me in.  Ok… What do I do?  Other than have a meltdown?  Call my mother.  An hour later I have a phone call from MD Anderson and an appointment in three days.  Have I mentioned my mother is THE SHIT?

Well, something about having an appointment at probably the best cancer hospital on the planet has a calming effect on you, mostly.  That and zoloft/xanax/dos equis.  Over the next few days I read everything on the internet regarding clustered microcalcifications and the cancer they can be indicators of, DCIS.  I figured worst case I would have to have a boob lopped off and I would get a new one, right? I  mean by Wednesday I was determined to have them BOTH off and get a new set.  Why fret about it, right?  Just lop them off and take my ovaries and uterus and cervix too just incase they might get interested in acting up.  (God!  That appointment is in two weeks! If my Pap comes back abnormal just shoot me, I am done)

I was told to bring all films/digital files/reports with me to Houston.  I go that afternoon to get films etc and have them fax over the reports. I arrange to come back the next afternoon for the digital files.  The next afternoon i am going get the disk and get a call from Anderson.  “Ms Pifer, I know you have a right breast, don’t you?”

“Why, yes… yes I do.”

“Well we only received a report on the left one”

“Ok, I am on my way over there will have them fax everything again.”

Get to the place and get the disk and say, “I just got a call from MD Anderson and they only received a report on the left breast.”

Dumb girl secretary is already confused.  “Doctor Anderson didn’t get all the reports?”

“Not, Dr. Anderson, precious.  MD ANDERSON HOSPITAL.”  how is it possible to work in Healthcare, especially radiology in texas and not know what MD Anderson is?

“Uhm we faxed what we had, a bunch of reports on your right breast.”

“Uhm no, you sent my left.”

“This says the right one with magnifications for calcifications”

“Uhm no.. would you like to see the bruising on my LEFT one where you smashed me?  I need the right breast report.”

“This says it was the right.”

Ok, time to get loud.  “Honey, i do not give a rat’s red ass what that says i am TELLING you what was sent and what was DONE”

Enter office manager Mr. Chance who is very nice, i remember yelling at him earlier on Monday morning about needing a report right the fuck then.  “What can I help you with, Mrs. Pifer?”

“Well, Mr. Chance.  You can find my right tit because apparently it is missing though as i am sure you can see i clearly fucking have one and i clearly remember having it fucking smashed.”  He moves precious out of the way and says, “Of course, here they are” he gives said precious a dirty look and smiles at me hitting “send” on the fax.

By this time the entire waiting room is getting a show and these little old ladies are laughing and giggling at the crazy Latina in 5 inch heels talking about finding her tits.

Wednesday I left work midday and drove to Houston and the Crown Plaze at Reliant Stadium area.  Fuck me twice, it was Rodeo week.  The freakin traffic was insane and way too many men and women in wranglers who should NEVER be in wranglers.  My mom drove in later in the evening to join me and keep me from killing someone at the doctors office for not doing what I wanted immediately.  Mom got there at 730 and said, “We need a beer!”  We went to the bar had a few beers and I slept like a drunk baby.  Go mom!

The clinic at Anderson was amazing.  The place runs like  well oiled machine.  I was there all day and was examined and wait for it… HAD THE MAMMOGRAM REDONE!  Yes, seems the place in SA didn’t feel it was necessary to actually get the entire breast and nipple in the image.  Basically the images were useless and they were ready to biopsy me!  By the end of the day I was told they would need to biopsy the cluster and that is was very small and could not be felt so it would be a Stereotactic Biopsy. They explained everything and I was pretty sane until they said, “We can schedule this for next week.”

“No, tomorrow or better yet, NOW!”

She smiled and said, “Let’s see what our scheduling girl can bully the folks across the hall into.  She is good.”

The scheduling gal gets them on the phone and says, “Let’s start bumping and moving I have an out of town patient and we need he in either this afternoon or first thing tomorrow.”

20 minutes later I have an appointment for 8am!  Go team !  Yay!  Then it occurs to me they are going to be harpooning me in the breast at 8AM!

This is what is involved in a Stereotactic Biopsy:

You climb a ladder to this table that is about 5 feet off the ground.

You put your boob in a hole and lay flat on the table with one arm down one above your head.  They raise you higher off the ground so they work under you.

They YET AGAIN start jerking/twisting and eventually smashing the breast in this mammogram thing.  Take more pics so they can see what they are aiming at.

The Doctor, who was fabulous, said he was gonna numb the skin, then make the 1/4 inch incision then numb again as he places they needle/machine.

Did I mention this entire process is done by a computer once the needle/gun is in the incision?

I actually didn’t feel anything  until the machine got to the location and shot several more numbs-it shots and he said it was because of the proximity to the nipple.  (calc was left breast at 2 o’clock 2 cm from the nipple.)

Once he had the needle/gun were he wanted it, he said hold still for the 1 millionth time and the nurse on the ladder beside me rubbing my back aka making sure my shoulders were immobilized I hear this loud noise like a sewing machine and realize it sort of is like one.  A needle was sticking and taking little wormlike bits of tissue etc.  He took two rounds of samples and said he had what he needed.   They put a titanium marker in my boob and took some more pics then it was done.  I really felt nothing at all.

However, my shoulder was numb and my neck was killing me.  The most uncomfortable part was the “dressing of the wound”.  The tech, “Jennifer” says, I am just going to apply pressure to stop the bleeding we are done just relax.  OMG  I swear to you she must have twisted my left tit a full 180.  Fucking shit.

After that I had to get another image in the mammogram to record the location of the marker which looks like a little grain of rice, but it is really much smaller because the images was blown up to roughly the size of a basketball.  I sat down after that and had a total adrenaline dump and starting shaking and crying because, well it was done and stress, nerves and fear finally just catch up with you.  I wasn’t hurting or even freaking out it was just like I couldn’t stop myself.  they were great, got me something sugary to drink and a warm blanket.  They are big on warm blankets there and I am a fan of warmed blankets.  They told me they would call me by Wednesday the next week and I could leave.

I spent the rest of the day with an ice pack shoved in my shirt but for the most part it was really painless and I didn’t even bruise.

I called them Tuesday to say i couldn’t make it to Houston wednesday for the followup and my Nurse called and said they had good news.  Everything was totally benign.  The calcification were not interesting and all tissue sampled was benign breast tissue and fibrous stuff.  The doctors did my risk assessment and said i do not need to do 2x a year mammograms I can do annuals.  She said to go back to the local xray place for my mam next year and if anything else appears to come back.  Calcifications happen and should be looked at and they would be happy to take me back into the practice if I have any other issues.

In the end, it was horrifying and frightening and eventually very alright.  I cannot say enough wonderful things about MD Anderson and their staff, facility, and professionals.  They make something very scary and stressful as easy as possible.  I thanked God, Mary, and whatever Saint I could think of that Obamacare wasn’t my reality.  I cannot imagine that I would get the speed, quality, and level of care if I was dealing with the HMO from hell. I bet I would be waiting a good 8 months for another mammogram and biopsy after going through 8 referrals and whatever else they medical overlords feel I need to do to hopefully die before they have to actually pay for any sort of treatment.

1.  Daughter No. 3 is on the mend and doing great.  Thanks be to God.

2. I love my new job been there almost a year and I do not want to quit!

3. My family is healthy and happy

4. Flight 1549 and a man who cannot walk on water but can land a plane on one.

5. The New Star Trek Movie!  Loved it.  Love Zachary Quinto.  Sylar is my favorite.

6.  Tea Parties, pissed off Americans, and maybe, just maybe a nation ready to say “get the fuck out of my capital” to politicians. 

7.  I rediscovered my obsessive love of jigsaw puzzles and now my obsessive DISORDER is causing them to stack up in a corner of my bedroom becuase I do not have the same obsession when it comes to putting the glue on them.

8.  Jennifer Rardin released a book for me to end the year.  I love me some Jaz Parks. Also a bunch of other great books came out this year not just the stinker on the last list.

9.  Glee.  I love Glee.  I mean I freakin LOVE GLEE.

10.  Fox didn’t cancel Fringe and therefor I love Fox!

Ten Worst Things about 2009 in no particular order and I am certain I have forgotten a great many thing. 

1.  Prince Fuknut and and his merry band of amoral surrender monkeys.

2. Laurell K. Hamilton’s  Divine Misdemeanors:  I was really looking forward to this book.  I cannot read the Anita Blake books anymore but I have always loved the Merry Gentry series.  I think that has come to an end.  She should have just added another 4 chapters to Swallowing Darkness and called the series complete.  I blame the publishers for asking for more books and the author for not just taking the series in another direction.

3. Daughter No. 3 getting sick.

4. The fact all a terrorist has to do to avoid being killed is to get caught commiting an act of terrorism on US soil; then he gets all the rights and liberties of a citizen of the very country he wants to see burn.  Barry-O is a fucking piece work. 

5.  Tiger Woods fiasco.  I do not give a flying fuck if he is banging his dog, his nanny, and the Gardener… all at the same time.  Why is this news?  Why does anyone care?  Does anyone care?  Guy at work said, “His wife is stupid if she stays with him!”  I said, “She can take half and leave or keep it all and stay.”  He says, “What?!”  I said, “I might divorce him if I were his wife, but I would probably just say, ‘Here is how it is gonna play out, Precious.  You will move into the East Wing of the estate.  You can see your kids whenever you want.  You will hand over possession of all the bank cards and you will not make a single fucking comment about a single fucking thing I buy… EVER.  And, btw… “the candy store” is close for you.  If that is not acceptable I will take my half of all your shit and you can pay me 100k a month in child support and pay the mortgage etc.  It is up to you, loverboy.”  It is that simple.  win/win for the wife.   But Jennifer, she was publicly humiliated!  Yeah? Best cure for that?  Christian Louboutin, 2010 Maserati Gran Turismo, and never having to worry about a single fucking financial issue again in your life!  Cry a little, sweetheart, then just realize you are never going to have to worry about providing for your children… EVER.  Small price.

6. Universal Healthcare actually getting voted on.  What the fuck is wrong with this country?  NO ONE WANTS THIS!  If people do not get off their asses this year and vote every single one of these cocksucking piece of shit politicians out of office I am going to fucking lose my mind. 

7.  Swine Fucking Flu!  I think they should name it the Chicken Little Flu because they have cried the Sky is falling in an effort to distract us from everything else going to hell and when the sky does fall, no one is going to pay attention.

8. Hollywood in general: Avatar, Kanye, and the hoards of libtards screeching about whatever the fuck it is they think they know but really have no clue about.

9. Janet The Sequel: No my first name aint, Baby. Its Janet… Ms. Napolitano if your nasty... Redefining Success, One Terrorist Attack at a Time! 

10.  Keith Olbermann sets record for holding down a job while deep in the throes of Tertiary syphilis

I am still pondering the whole medical drama but I will say Daughter No. 3 is doing really well and adapting better than the rest of us to the new low fat diet.  She takes her meds without much complaint and all we can do it keep her diet in check and live life.  I appreciate all the well wishes and prayers.  Kids are amazing in their ability to be so very sick at one moment and recover so very fast.  They are blessed with short memories as well.

Life has been insane for us here.  I get the kiddo back to school and work just went insane.  I would like to take this moment to say… for the record… MS Project Server is a steaming pile of shit and I have yet to find out what exactly it is going to do to make life so fantastic.  As a admin/developer it is a pain in the ass and I suppose the user will love it once we all suffer for a zillion man hours to bend the fucker into submission, but in the end I think our souls will have suffered for it.  The client will be happy and it is all about the client! Actually I am really rather delighted Microsoft makes such prissy software, it pays my bills.

I am thinking things will slow back down to a “normal” 50 hour week soon.  I cannot make myself keep up with the news.  I honestly do not need another reason to come unhinged, you know what I mean?

I have had some time to blog lately but my thoughts have been running so hard and fast i could not have blogged coherently so why bother.   But after a few weeks of hard work, hard sleep, and a few jigsaw puzzles I have started to find my center again and hope to get my “bitch” back on.

Today I spent the day at a SharePoint conference and it was not too bad considering it is a Saturday and I prefer to have my weekends involve nothing more active than using my remote to fast forward though the weeks recorded DVR fair while wearing my pajamas and listening to the kids tear up the house.  We got a pretty cool bunch of previews of SharePoint 2010 and office 2010 and I will just say this… cool shit with equal parts of oh fuck.

I just wanted to check in and say hello.  I will make it a point to blog this next week, though I have do study for some freakin’ certification i need to get done, but i have to take a break some time, right?

Soon…

Jen

First an apology for not spreading the fuck you this week.  Work has been intense and busy.  I have had more meetings this week than I have ever had in a single week and I am at about 62 hours worked on Thursday.  That said, my wonderful bosses, bless their benevolent souls, have given me Friday and Monday off.  Yay!  Hubby is having some out patient surgery tomorrow so I cannot sleep in, but at least I do not have to burn PTO, right?  Nonetheless this is what has been holding up the “fuck yous”  and I am assured things will calm down soon.  They have to, right?

On to the rage…

“Climate talks failure would end in embarrassment for Obama”

U.S. President Barack Obama faces “more than an embarrassment” should his nation fail to lead international negotiations to complete a new climate-protection treaty by December, a senior European climate negotiator said.

Yes, I am quite certain Europe would like nothing better than to have Fuknut lead us into the valley of the eternal damned that is this bullshit.  I mean think about it… we are talking about Europe and the UN here, folks.  Anything less than full bent over subjugation to the socialist strap-on is going to be an embarrassment to these guys.   I would venture to say the UN and Europe are just pissing their collective knickers in delight that the US finally has a President they can relate to… a bitch ass man.  One more member of the “we are smarter than you” club that has no fucking clue about anything much less climate for fuck’s sake.

Obama’s scope is limited because the U.S. Congress may not approve a domestic law to control emissions before the December deadline for signing an international climate accord in Copenhagen

Newflash, Fuknut’s “scope” is not the only thing limited.  Off the top of my head I can add; understanding of economics, testosterone levels, and grasp on reality as things he is severely limited on.  I know I want congress rushing to slam my country with a bunch of regulations destined to seal the coffin on our economy just so the Douch Bag in Chief can sign a fucking treaty not worth the piece of paper it is scrawled on.

“We can just help, but helping them also means directly telling them that the world has an expectation.”

Fuck the world and fuck their expectations, how is that for a fucking message to send?  Shut the fuck up and clean your own backyard up… stay the hell out of mine!  The above nugget of whatever-the-fuck-that-is comes from some Karl Frankendickhead, director-general for environment at the European Union’s executive body.  Wtf kind of title is that?  Could it be more of a wimpy fucking title?  Sounds like something Fuknut would come up with.  If this is the type of titles floating around the EU then it is no wonder Fuknut wants a Czar of Public Toilet Paper Consumption and every other damn thing his pea brain can come up with to give his cronies a gig in the White House.  I want to be Czarina of Shut Your Fucking Piehole, Bitches.

The UN is pushing for a deal that would limit the rise in world temperatures since industrialization began to 2 degrees Celsius (3.6 degrees Fahrenheit). That level of warming would lead to “more intense” rainfall, droughts, floods and heat waves, a World Bank study released last week said.

Really? When did the UN become the pantheon of weather gods?  Meteorologists cannot tell me if it is going to rain this weekend with any accuracy at all and you are tell me the UN along with the World Bank can limit the rise in world temperatures?  I am sure it will be just as successful as their oil for food program and their fucking absurd peacekeeping efforts.  I fucking hate the UN.  I get that Fuknut and his merry band of mouth breathers are trying their level best to do the right thing.  Unfortunately the right thing to these guys is turning all first world nations into third world nations so that we all have clean fucking air?  Maybe I should be the Czarina of Gross Generalizations, but still if the shoe fits.

This is the only song and dance/dog and pony show the Left knows how to do.  If it isn’t healthcare it is bullshit peace talks and appeasement.  If it isn’t taking care of the “poor” it is saving Gaia from horrible humans.  It all ends the same way… America becomes a socialist shithole like most of Europe and eventually just devolves from there.  It is all about everyone having the same everything.  Problem number one?  The only way that happens is if we are all fucking third world nations sucking the tit of a government corrupt to its core.  Problem number two?  That is not a problem as far as the Left is concerned.  The Left is the living embodiment of the phrase, “cutting your nose off to spite your face.”  I think we need to sterilize them all while there is still a chance to save the world.  This sort of shit breeds true, cannot take the risk.

“Pot legalization gains momentum in California”

SAN FRANCISCO — Marijuana advocates are gathering signatures to get at least three pot-legalization measures on the ballot in 2010 in California, setting up what could be a groundbreaking clash with the federal government over U.S. drug policy.

At least one poll shows voters would support lifting the pot prohibition, which would make the state of 40 million the first in the nation to legalize marijuana.

I am not going to address the whole good vs bad thing here.   I just frankly do not give a fuck one way or another. I have enough trouble remembering shit; I am not gonna get high.  I find it humorous that it comes from San Francisco though. I think this is part of a bigger conspiracy.  Nancy has to run for reelection and if all her constituents are toasted she will win in a landslide as long as she has a wiener-mobile at the polling place to sate the overwhelming munchies of voters.  Also, if anything were to drive me to get high… it would be living in California and getting the tax ass reaming they get.  I am sure the whole fucking state could use a good buzz.

The headlines are too numerous to do adequate justice individually so I have stopped even looking.  I read about the troop morale in Afghanistan and watch a video about how that is all “Bush’s” fault.  Holy fucking shit, dickhead.  His Royal Fabulousness has been in office nearly a year and has practically abandoned the troops entirely.  He has more important things to do like worry about fucking carbon emissions and the Olympics, and how he is going to rationalize a Czar of Michelle’s Kitten Heels.  War shmar… that stuff is above his pay grade.  I hate weak as people, I especially hate weak as men and I am to the point of actually getting nauseated when I see or hear this fucking idiot’s voice.  Every time I see a bumper sticker with Obama/Biden on it I desperately wish I had mind powers to just “poof” them out of existence or maybe to France where they can feel appreciated.

I watch folks go through their day without a care in the world about the state of things, about the danger a man like Obama represents to our very way of life.  They are oblivious to the reality of his congress and that Nancy Pelosi could screw things up so badly that our kids might still be paying the price when they are our age.  I am not talking about Democrats or Republicans here, I am talking about people in general.  The folks who say things like, “I do not follow politics, it is all bullshit anyway.”  These are the people who go through life as they always have assuming everything will be ok.  Why?  Because it always has been in the past.  Because they grew up in a world where Reagan saved us all from the fucking disaster that was Jimmy Carter.  Because they cannot conceive of anything actually impacting their own lives.  They grew up in a world where there was always someone who saved the day.

Wake up, folks… there is no guarantee we will get another Reagan, hell it is the exact opposite.  The power of the media and their total devotion to the Left has made it damn near impossible for anyone who disagrees with Fuknut and his policies to even get heard.   This is the new world of 24/7 news cycles, leftist blogs, and internet news.  The media will never vet the Left like they will seek to destroy anything at all inspiring on the Right.  The playing field is not even close to even.  I am not certain it is possible to produce another man like Reagan.  Even without the media deep throating of Liberal Idealism I do not feel confident he/she exists.  I am not saying there are no good people out there with great ideas and brilliant minds and a true gift for communicating to the masses, I am saying there is no incentive for them to seek our highest office.  Who would do that to their family?  The kind of man/woman you would want in office would never knowingly put their loved ones in the path of a Media Monster.   I hate to break it to all of you out there who just “weather the storm” but we might not get through this storm in one piece.

I am  not asking anyone to become an activist, I am just saying you might want to wake the fuck up and start looking at the world around you.  Stop accepting things as “just the way things go” and realize that the only way this shit stops is for decent people to stop ignoring reality.  Stop believing you have a fairy godmother who is going to magically make it alright for you.

If I see another fucking John McCain put forth as the GOP candidate I am going to fucking lose it.   Do not put me a position again to have to back the less pathetic of two candidates.  I fucking hate John McCain.  He is a arrogant self serving prick, he just happened to have a sliver of character which is 1000% more than Fuknut has.

We have been distracted as a nation by fucking bullshit Health Care Reform and swine flu and fucking carbon emissions!  None of that shit matters and the Left knows it.  They fucking bank on you either getting all in a lather about it because you neighbor is and you like to fit in or that you just do not give a fuck!

Global Warming is going to kill us!  Swine Flu is going to kill us!

No, bitches… indifference and ignorance is going to kill us.  Stop fearing Global Warming and start fearing the Fruits of Apathy.

I will try again tomorrow because NCIS is just about finished recording and I have a hot date with Mark Harmon.

Fucking technology…