Parents Deciding to Have A Third Child Met with Scorn…

My husband and I are getting ready to do what many couples in these brink-of-recessionary times would consider unthinkable. No, we’re not buying a Martha’s Vineyard retreat or planning a month in St. Bart’s or eco-decorating our house.

We’re planning to have a third child.

What shocks people, when we tell them, isn’t the thought of hauling three kids onto a place for a vacation, or even the idea of coming home every night to a houseful of runny noses and homework assignments. What gets them is the sheer financial audacity. Raising kids today costs a fortune. Last month, the Department of Agriculture estimated that each American child costs an average of $204,060 to house, clothe, educate and entertain until the age of 18.

But to me, a family with just two kids seems minimalist, and even a bit sad. Back in the 1970s, when my husband and I were born, sprawling families were more common. My husband had two sisters and, following a Brady-Bunchy set of remarriages in my family, I wound up with seven brothers, real and step. I’ve always fantasized about creating a “Meet Me in St. Louis”-style household of my own, with children constantly underfoot and enough relatives around to skip to my lou en masse.

And yet nowadays, people seem aghast if a couple wants more than two children. When Elana Sigall, a 43-year-old attorney in Brooklyn, was pregnant with her third, people came up to her constantly, she said, to admonish her: “You’ve got a boy and a girl already. Why don’t you just leave it alone?”

Amateurs I say! Three kids? Try four… Unless you had all three at one time (gives momotrips her earned acknowledgment) , I am not impressed. j/k

I only have four children and still I am usually a source of surprise for people when they ask about my family. I am not sure if they are more surprised I have four children or that they are all girls. I always piss off the folks out there with single children when I say you have no idea what parenting is really about. Bear with me before you start freaking out, parents of only children. (more…)

Mondays suck, but they usually are not bloody.  Daughter number 3, the dramaqueen and injury magnent lost a fight with the four year old’s head.  The four year old has a hell of a coconut, obviously.  Somehow they collided and Daughter No. 3 basically bit damn near through her tongue.

I hear “that scream” the one that says, someone is bleeding, and then Daughter No. 2 is running in saying D#4 smacked D#3 with her head and she is bleeding everywhere!  Sure enough when the injured party stopped screaming long enough to move her feet toward my location she had blood dripping out of her mouth like a vampire.

We did the wash the mouth out routine and administered the greatest cure known to mankind; an ice cube.  There isn’t much an ice cube doesn’t make feel better.  Burns, bites, bumps, and bruises… all golden with a cube of ice and a dose of motrin.

Will blog some more later…. chicken chalupas for dinner! woo woo…

1. Oprah Winfrey makes me want to break things. I was enjoying my trip to the book store until I saw her magazine with her bulldog mug on it at the check out. It totally fucked with my chi.
2. Stupid people outnumber us 1,000:1 easily.
3. I have gotten more combative in my dotage. If you are a smart ass clerk, salesperson, or anyone working in the service industry; prepare for war.
4. If I have to listen to one more “True Believer” tell me how great Obama is, I might get violent.
5. I despise gum chewing and it should be illegal.
6. Calling Hillary Clinton a Fucking Whore is just silly. I feel certain she hasn’t been fucking anyone or anything in years. How old is Chelsae? 20something?
7. Keith Olbermann is a cocksucking lunatic. Seriously, the man isn’t well.
8. I like cheese.
9. I feel certain the Hobbits are all gay.
10. I blame my mood on that idiot with his kid on his motorcycle.

You know who you are. You are the irresponsible asshole who picked up your kid from religious education class on your crotch rocket styled motorcycle. From this point on in the article you will be referred to as Idiot Asshole.

Idiot Asshole, you picked up a beautiful, tiny little daughter probably around 7 years old. You put a helmet on her and tossed her behind you. You shot out of the parking lot without a care in the world. I was right behind your stupid ass. I was the apoplectic mother praying you were going to pull into a driveway right down the street. I nearly threw up when I watched you pulled onto the highway with this beautiful child not big enough to wrap her arms around your body. I watched you take off like a rocket and all I could do was pray. Pray that this child didn’t end up a meat waffle because of you, Idiot Asshole.

I am sure you love your daughter. That said. You are a fucking idiot and an asshole. If she cannot wrap her arms around you, what makes you think she will stay on the back of that bike if you have to swerve for something? Are you out of your fucking mind!? We have already established you are an idiot asshole, but are you truly out of your mind?

You know the only person crazier than your ass? The stupid ass mother of this child you lets you do this!

Look, I am not trying to be a bitch here, Idiot Asshole. I think a grown up on a motorcycle is perfectly fine. If you want to fly down the express way begging to be an organ donor, so be it.

I even get the thrill. It isn’t usually your fault when accidents happen, but that doesn’t make it any more safe and frankly it is a risk I do not understand and as an adult choose not to engage in, but I do not begrudge you this hobby. I am just a wuss. No need to hate me, I think they are sexy and all those things, I am just not there. I have too many kids to risk some inattentive driver in a car running me into an early grave.

Getting on a motorcycle with a child who is still suppose to be in a fucking booster seat inside the car and tearing out of a parking lot and onto an expressway full of idiot drivers is the height of irresponsibility and it makes you a what? That’s right! An Idiot Asshole.

You cannot legally put your child in the back of a truck and drive down the road. Why? How? What kind of insanity is it you can put them on the back of a motorcycle and hit the road like a bat out of hell?

I was astounded, angry, and wanted to pull you over and punch you in the fucking nose. I really did. Instead, I just said a prayer and hoped the old saying was true: God takes care of fools and babies.

If you read this, Idiot Asshole with the green motorcycle, pull your head out of your ass and remember she is just a baby; more breakable and valuable than you.

You all know I hate Oprah. I find her to be beyond a narcissist. I have also come to realize over the years she epitomizes the saying, “Money doesn’t buy you happiness.” Whether it is her weight going up and down, which say what you want, we all know that yo-yo dieting is something you do when you are unhappy with yourself so you lose weight. Then you start stressing and life starts being harder and you eat your weight back on + 10 pounds. Repeating often for typical results.

She has a fucking magazine or is it two now where she puts her own face on the cover of every single issue. She preaches about knowing yourself and doing good things but seems only interested in making sure everyone is aware of how wealthy she is and how she spends her money. She devotes hour long shows to over the top retail therapy a couple of times a year.

She has a media empire. She is one of the richest people in the world with a cult like following of women who tune in everyday to feel better about themselves and cry. Ugh. She was in a very long relationship and couldn’t bring herself to marry. She seems to have only one person she trusts, this Gayle person. She has gone from one self help philosophy to another, over and over. She is lost, this is not hard to see.

(more…)

Barry O, please… please please please continue down this train of thought. Please go on TV and talk about how you are going to do all you can to take our guns away. I think that is a great strategy. Run with it, oh great wave of wisdom!

“I am not in favor of concealed weapons,” Obama said. “I think that creates a potential atmosphere where more innocent people could (get shot during) altercations.”

Staggering. You can call him consistent if nothing else. Back in ‘96 a survey he filled out but of course has no memory of doing so and blames a staffer of mentally causing his handwriting to appear on the survey.

From 1996:

Obama’s positions in 1996, according to the questionnaire that bears his handwriting?

• Opposed to parental notification on abortions. He amended this to say that he might possibly support it for 12- or 13-year-olds, but no older.


• Flatly opposed the death penalty, a position he denied ever having.


• Supported bans on the sale, possession, and manufacture of guns, again a position he denied ever taking.

(more…)

First, John Mccain: via: TownHall about war.

Just days ago, while speaking to the Los Angeles World Affairs Council, Senator McCain stated, “In Vietnam, where I formed the closest friendships of my life, some of those friends never came home to the country they loved so well. I detest war. It might not be the worst thing to befall human beings, but it is wretched beyond all description. When nations seek to resolve their differences by force of arms, a million tragedies ensue. The lives of a nation’s finest patriots are sacrificed. Innocent people suffer and die. Commerce is disrupted; economies are damaged; strategic interests shielded by years of patient statecraft are endangered as the exigencies of war and diplomacy conflict. Not the valor with which it is fought nor the nobility of the cause it serves, can glorify war. Whatever gains are secured, it is loss the veteran remembers most keenly. Only a fool or a fraud sentimentalizes the merciless reality of war. However heady the appeal of a call to arms, however just the cause, we should still shed a tear for all that is lost when war claims its wages from us.”

Second, Barry O via his website which i refuse to link.  Mind you, he has zero point of reference for serving his country in uniform.  I would venture to say the greatest danger he has ever been in his life is when he pisses off that bulldog he is married to.  That or when he couldn’t agree on a color scheme for the Harvard Law Review Christmas Party with Buffy Finklestein and she put him in a choke hold.

“But conventional thinking in Washington lined up for war. The pundits judged the political winds to be blowing in the direction of the President. Despite – or perhaps because of how much experience they had in Washington, too many politicians feared looking weak and failed to ask hard questions. Too many took the President at his word instead of reading the intelligence for themselves. Congress gave the President the authority to go to war. Our only opportunity to stop the war was lost.

I made a different judgment. I thought our priority had to be finishing the fight in Afghanistan. I spoke out against what I called ‘a rash war’ in Iraq. I worried about, ‘an occupation of undetermined length, with undetermined costs, and undetermined consequences.’ The full accounting of those costs and consequences will only be known to history. But the picture is beginning to come into focus.”

—Barack Obama, Clinton, Iowa, September 12, 2007

So we have a man who actually gave a thoughtful, articulate answer from personal experience.  Then we have Mr.  I Will Win The War By Saying We Should Have Never Been There. Not sure about your thoughts, but this is a fucking no brainer.

at mailed me this article and thought I would find it interesting. i find it damn near perfection with only a few minor disagreements, but I will leave those a mystery. “Just Fucking Fuck Me, Already!”

It is a safe to click link, but it is an explicit article so be warned.

It is a plea and a PSA all rolled up into one. This broad pretty much hits the nail on the head. I will post a few highlights, but you really need to go read it, all of you. I wish I would have had this a few weeks ago doing the gender wars around Ace Of Spades HQ and Jawa Report. I am not linking to them, they are best left alone, but still, this would have been fun to toss on the fire. Also, there seems to be this whole thing going on around the blog world about Beta Males. This is apropos

She starts off gentle…

Dear Men of Craigslist,

Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.

Then she gets seriously to the point… do not continue if you do not want to read some pretty direct language, even for me.

(more…)

I am totally burned out on television shows. Nothing is amusing or appeasing me. Meh.

American Idol is total shit with the exception of that David Cook edible yummy thing. The rest, ackk. I wasn’t feelin’ yesterday so please go read Rachel Lucas’ Idol Commentary. She is far more entertaining than the actual show and hates that little monchichi doll Ramalamadingdong as well. For the record, I still hate Ryan Seacrest… lots.

Hells Kitchen was typical crap, but crap I watch just to see Gordon Ramsay say things like GET OUT YOU! and What’s wrong with you, ya Donkey! He makes me hot.

Survivor, is it even still on?

America’s Next Top Model hopped the spermwhale or skipped the albacore or whatever the phrase is, about 3 seasons ago. Tyra needs to shut the fuck up and pass the baton to someone less annoying like Christian Siriano from Project Runway. She is starting to remind me of Oprah with her diva shit.

Speaking of the Big O, the nasty one, not the fun one. Miss Winfrey is doing a show in honor of her dead dog, Sophie. I am not going to touch this, really. Ok, maybe one comment. I am not going to attack dog owners, but I have to ask the obvious question. Could you fucking be more self absorbed and freakin’ frivolous? Is it even possible? Maybe you can have another show where Obama is sanding down your corns as per his agreement for you to endorse him and attempt to get your legion of brain dead women who depend on you for their daily cry to vote for him. UGH!

What happened to Private Practice? I liked that show.

Bravo is even disappointing me a little bit with Top Chef, though it is just getting started so I will reserve my hate for a few weeks. Make me a Supermodel was not great. Not so much because it was horrible, more because it just have gone on entirely too long. The only thing I am diggin’ these days is Housewives of New York City. I miss the real estate guy.

I want some good tv. I need some good tv. Someone make a suggestion or something. If anyone puts Flavah of Love in the comments I am going mock you for the fool you are… relentlessly so.

I sent this to Ace this morning after I read it and threw up in my mouth a little bit. I am going to send everyone who spouts such bullshit lines as, “Islam is a religion of peace” or “Pure Islam is not violent” that link.

A question-and-answer session with Imam Abdul Makin in an East London mosque asks why Allah would tell Muslims to kill and rape innocent non-Muslims, including their wives and daughters, according to Islam Watch.

“Because non-Muslims are never innocent, they are guilty of denying Allah and his prophet,” the Imam says, according to the report. “If you don’t believe me, here is the legal authority, the top Muslim lawyer of Britain.”

The lawyer, Anjem Choudary, backs up the Imam’s position, saying that all Muslims are innocent.

Click here to watch the interview with Islamic lawyer Anjem Choudary.

“You are innocent if you are a Muslim,” Choudary tells the BBC. “Then you are innocent in the eyes of God. If you are not a Muslim, then you are guilty of not believing in God.”

Choudary said he would not condemn a Muslim for any action.

“As a Muslim, I must support my Muslim brothers and sisters,” Choudary said. “I must have hatred to everything that is not Muslim.”

(more…)