Let’s see with BBC says and we may add a few of our own.

“My employers (top half of FTSE 100) recently informed staff that we are no longer allowed to use the phrase brain storm because it might have negative connotations associated with fits. We must now take idea showers . I think that says it all really.”
Anonymous, England

Idea showers?  Well, here in the US of A in this age of Political Correctness are not allowd to use the word “Shower” or any word denoting an act that one does nekkid.  Imagine what would happen if the person was making eye contact at the same time!  Dear God, the HR manager would be in a lather.

“Business speak even supersedes itself and does so with silliness, the shorthand for quick win is now low hanging fruit .”
Paul, Formby, UK

Ah, yes.  The Low Hanging Fruit phrase.  This one is like a big giant sign that says, “Mock Me Jennifer!  You know you have to do it!”  Management at work must have gone to a seminar about six months ago, because I was in no less than 5 meetings with several different folks all who used the term Low Hanging Fruit at least once.  If you use the term Low Hanging Fruit, you should stop.  Why do I always think of rotting figs when I hear the phrase?

“Working for an American corporation, this year’s favourite word seems to be granularity , meaning detail. As in ‘down to that level of granularity’.”
Chris Daniel, Anaco, Venezuela

Oh yes, this one is infecting our workplace too.  I think I have a granularity stuck in my throat.  I need a soda.

I would like to add to the following:

• Open a dialog: I would like to split open the face of the next person who says it.


• Could you send me a soft copy of that data? What is that you ask?  It is a silly way of asking for a pdf or a word document.


• Key Performance Indicators: KPIs and Dashboards will be the end of the civilized world as we know it.


• Let’s take this to the whiteboard: I would like to take a sledgehammer to the whiteboard.

I shall begin to collect these and add to it.

Link to article

Yes, my reading obsession is in overdrive.  I needed a break from my usual Vampire Porn as Unabrewer calls it.  I hit the Barnes & Noble site and started looking at new releases in everything from Sci/Fi Fantasy to Paranormal Romance and stumbled across a mention of a book called WebMage by Kelly McCullough.

Description: WebMage: A fantasy-cyberpunk hybrid that revolves around Ravirn, a grandson of the Greek Fate Lachesis. In order to keep up with an ever increasing number of life threads, the Fates have upgraded to a computerized system that blends magic with programming. Of course where there are computers, there are also hackers. In the process of “testing” his Great-Aunt Atropos’s security, Ravirn, a hacker/sorcerer, and his laptop familiar, Melchior, uncover a plot that could shake the foundations of Olympus and change humanity’s relationship with Fate forever.

From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. Remember the Fates, those ancient Greek spinners, weavers and snippers of life’s threads? They’re back in McCullough’s original and outstanding debut, and still ruling destiny—but with their own digital web, based on a server called the Fate Core. Power-hungry as ever, they’ve coded a spell to eliminate human free will. Unluckily for them, one of their demigod descendants is a cheerfully rebellious hacker-sorcerer named Ravirn who, when not studying for college midterms, likes to mess around on their web with the help of his familiar, Melchior, who can change from a goblin to a laptop. Ravirn and Melchior, let loose in McCullough’s delightfully skewed and fully formed world—much like our own, but with magic, paranormally advanced technology and Greek gods—set out to thwart Ravirn’s “great-to-the-nth-degree aunt[s],” careening from one discovery to another, enlisting unlikely allies and narrowly evading destruction at the hands of both Fates and Furies. McCullough handles his plot with unfailing invention, orchestrating a mixture of humor, philosophy and programming insights that give new meaning to terms as commonplace as “spell checker” and esoteric as “programming in hex.” Though a preponderance of techie-talk may put off some readers, this is the kind of title that could inspire an army of rabid fans; it’s a good thing a sequel is planned for 2007. (Aug.)

It took me a few chapters to get really invested in the book but then I was having fun.  He has sort of combined hard sci/fi with cyberpunk with greek mythos and a healthy dose of sarcasm and humor.  His little webgoblin Mel (who changes into a laptop on command) was a good foil to the main characters total scatterbrained behavior.  Maybe that is why I like Ravirn so much.  He has loose shit everywhere and that is oddly familiar to me.  Have no idea why…

(more…)

I have run across a few of you and added you as friends.  Where the hell are the rest of you?

Click my Badge Thingie and send a friend request so I can add you!

I just finished a book by Mario Acevedo and was pleased.  That said I have one peevish thing to say… Goddammit, I read book two before I read book one.  Ugh.  I hate when I do that.  The trend lately is to release a slew of books in the same year from a single author.  It has gotten so bad that I have stopped checking the damn copyright all together.  /rant.

X-Rated Blood Suckers was loads of fun.  The blurb from Harper Collins about the book…

Felix has survived Operation Iraqi Freedom, being turned into a vampire, and a ravenous horde of nymphomaniacs. (JenNote:  That would be the first book I fucking skipped!) Now he faces his toughest task ever—navigating the corrupt world of Los Angeles politics to solve the murder of a distinguished young surgeon turned porn star. But both human and vampire alike have reasons to want the secret to stay buried. . .

What Publisher’s Weekly had to say:

Hard-boiled action mixes with soft-core titillation in Acevedo’s second novel featuring soldier– turned–vampire PI Felix Gomez, who’s approached by porn actress Katz Meow to investigate the murder of her colleague Roxy Bronze. Before you can say XXX, Felix is off to California’s San Fernando Valley and up to his fangs in intrigue implicating a vampire producer of adult films, a sham evangelist, a power-hungry local politician and the Araneum, the secret vampire hierarchy tasked with stamping out unorthodox human-vampire interactions. Felix endures the usual silver bullets and garlic, as well as several very human double crosses and miscalculations, before the story speeds to an unlikely conclusion that exposes a somewhat unconvincing villain. The novel’s true appeal lies in its zippy banter and witty repartee on vampire lifestyle, particularly in Felix’s ongoing partnership with Coyote, a low-rent vamp from the barrio. Acevedo has a natural flare for the hard-boiled idiom, and readers who enjoyed Felix’s first adventure will find this follow-up equally entertaining.

I totally agree.  The banter with Coyote is what makes this book a delight.  Coyote is the bastard son of Cortez’s mistress, yes the conqueror Cortez.  I am not sure what was funnier the fact Felix constantly has to push start Coyote’s hoopty ford pickup or the fact the guy makes Rat Chorizo.  A chicano vampire is a unique character to say the least and hopefully he appears again in later books.

I have to hit Barnes and Nobles and get his first book: Nymphos of Rocky Flats and his latest one, Undead Kama Sutra.

Do not let the titles fool you, there is nothing even remotely smutty about these books; sex is alluded to and just barely.  In my opinion the books would have been served by a healthy dose of explicit sex, but that is just me.   I like my mysteries and sci/fi with a bit of flavor.  Even with an appalling lack of gratuitous sex this book was well worth the cash.

For reasons that escape me I have become emotionally invested in Pleb’s neutering saga.  You have to give due respect to a man willing to share his little adventures in vasectomyland.  Well, I am sure it is like little. But you get my point.  I am not sure why I found this so amusing, but I did and well I have sympathy for Pleb and his pain and totally understand Mrs.  Pleb’s demand for sterilization.  It is like a little soap opera but without all the sex in barns and infidelity.

The Links in chronological order:

Vasectomy Chronicles

Unkindest Cut

A brief reprieve

Communication Problems

Say It Ain’t So!

Vasectomy: The Director’s Cut

Chill, man…

Excitable 5 year old Means Trouble!

Well, Pleb… it is over and you are now the proud shooter of blanks!  Welcome to the wonderful world of totally NON REPRODUCTIVE SEX!  It is soooo worth it.  Seriously…

I love a good Joke and this one is delightful….

===

Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.” Here are the scorecards from the advent:

(Frank Judge #3)

Chili # 1 Eddie’s Maniac Monster Chili…
Judge # 1—! A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2—Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3—(Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy!
(more…)

I was grocery shopping last weekend and rummaging through the frozen food section looking for breakfast sausage.   You know, the frozen patties you can cook really quick in the morning.  The kids love them.  Ran across some chubs (heh love that word) of raw ground pork sausage.  Not just any pork, Bacon and Pork Sausage.  Now, the chances of me NOT buying something labeled Bacon Flavored Pork Sausage is pretty much nonexistent.

I tossed it in the freezer last weekend and forgot about it.  Last night I was seriously cravin’ some rice dressing and remembered I had the delightful treasure in the freezer.  Thawed it out with a pound of ground turkey and soon had it cooking up in my favorite tall skillet and a rice cooker full of long grain rice cooking in chicken stock.  I sauteed the pork and then tossed in some minced onion, garlic and half the spice cabinet.  I love Penzeys….

I dumped the rice into the meat mixture and damn it had that absolutely perfect boudain rice texture.  Needless to say it is ALL gone.  I was sort of bummed because I didn’t have an green onions which are always the best thing every about making rice dressing for me.  However, it was absolutely amazing without it.  That bacon flavored yumminess was just what I was craving.

I cannot remember the brand, but next time I am at the store I will buy about 5 chubs more and blog the name for you guys.  I am thinking it would make an excellent addition to a nice ground sirloin meatloaf with some brown gravy and fluffy white rice.

The Saga Continues…

Update on Plebian’s Neutering: Vasectomy Chronicles, Unkindest Cut, A brief reprieve, Communication Problems.

Ace is talking about Flypaper Movies: My personal flypaper: Anything Bond. Original Star Wars Trilogy. Devil Wears Prada. Godfather Trilogy. The Bird Cage. Die Hard 1-3. Chronicles of Riddick.

Talk about Fashion WTF?

Barry O in Quote Version 1.0

The first thing that springs to mind? Stupid fucking cunt...

Going cook tacos, will be back in a little while.