“We need to open a dialog…”

You know what?  The next person I hear say this I am going to open a hole in their ass the size of my foot.  Open a fucking dialog with the terrorists Iran.  Open a dialog with my ass, dammit.  Fuck dialog.  Dialog doesn’t get shit done.  I know this! I work for the fucking government!

“Global Climate Change”

Yes, assholes.  I like to call these things that happen periodically seasons.  Ok, I know that is not what they mean, but still.  I firmly believe if Al Gore and the rest of his disciples would just shut the fuck up there would be a dramatic Global Cooling.  Speaking that cocksucking piece of human waste.  Took him about five minutes to say what we knew was coming.  Rosetta sums ups my thoughts pretty accurately…

“Presidential Exploratory Committee”

Also known as Giant Scam whereby the federal government pisses away more of my tax dollars. I would like to have an exploratory committee tasked to find out if exploratory committees actually accomplish anything.  I am smart that way.  You do not just have these inspirational thoughts.  You have to work for the government to get them.  We are a special kind of special.

I will add more as they occur to me…

Finally managed to get everything into a blogroll.  Also, you will notice on the inside right column there is a nifty little “Moron Headlines” feed as well.

Enjoy all the Moron Bloggers have to offer!

If anyone is interested I can send you my opml for the links and headlines for your own blog.  I am pulling all these in from Google Reader which I live and die by.  I entered them all so you wouldn’t have to.  Well at least i think so… you should be able to use my opml so lemme know if you want it.

via: Hot Air Headlines

I guess us gals can learn a few things about the not so mysterious Pee Pee. The bullet points are as follows:

No. 1: Your Penis Does Have a Mind of Its Own:

It’s true that you have less command over your penis than body parts like your arms and legs. That’s because the penis answers to a part of the nervous system that’s not always under your conscious control. This is called the autonomic nervous system, which also regulates heart rate and blood pressure.

The penis is “kind of a barometer of the sympathetic nervous system,” Montague says. So the greeting, “How’s it hanging?” is more apt than you might have realized.

It is also a barometer as to how much booze you have had. Whiskey Dick is a tragedy.

No. 2: Your Penis May Be a ‘Grower’ or a ‘Show-er’

In one study of 80 men, researchers found that increases from flaccid to erect lengths ranged widely, from less than a quarter inch to 3.5 inches longer.

Whatever the clinical significance of these data may be, the locker-room significance is considerable. You can’t assume that a dude with a big limp penis gets much bigger with an erection. And the guy whose penis looks tiny could surprise you with a big erection.

I wish I could shrink and enlarge my boobs as needed. I mean sometimes they get in the way. (more…)

This is cool: The Arrow of Time.

“USA TODAY Link”

The analysis of four studies by Murray Straus, suggests that children whose parents spanked, slapped, hit or threw objects at them may have a greater chance of physically or verbally coercing a sexual partner, engaging in risky sexual behavior or engaging in masochistic sex, including sexual arousal by spanking.

Oh my…

While I call bullshit on this I would like to point out that Studies are far and wide a crock of shit.  Anyone can play with numbers and statistics and get a result supporting their theory.  One of the big wigs at work really gets fired up about these so called scientific studies.  His favorite example:  “Statics indicate that wearing a bra may contribute to developing breast cancer.  I would venture to say nearly every single woman with breast cancer has worn one in their life time.”  Of course no one has made the above claim (at least I hope my tax dollars haven’t gone to fund that) because it is absurd. This study has that same sort of self serving  flavor to it.  A group of weenie hippie types who think spanking kids is bad have decided to get some attention but attaching it to the one thing which is guaranteed to perk everyone’s curiosity.

While I am not trying to make light of men or women who are violent and force themselves on people I have to say there is a difference between being coercive and brutal and being aggressive and overt.  Risky sexual behavior is a relative term but having sex without a condom and picking up strangers is a terribly stupid and dangerous thing.  If we are talking about masochism in the BDSM sense, then well no harm no foul, but if you are talking about masochism in the playing with death sense or getting off of mutilating yourself, well that is something else entirely.  Sexual arousal by spanking, well… heh.

We are not going to open a debate on what is and isn’t problem sexual behavior but I will say this much.  In my opinion, everyone regardless of being spanked as a child or not, is sexually coercive on some level.   Plus, what is coercive behavior?  I think many people confuse being sexual overt and aggressive with forceful and/or coercive behavior.   Ask any group of men if they would have a problem with a sexually coercive woman.  Trust me, if there is one that balks, he is gay.     Women are no different about this for the most part.  Women, not the feminista eunuch fangirls, love and often gravitate to aggressive men.   I am not talking about some stalker asshole male or female, those folks have problems that stem from a whole lot more than being spanked as a child.

Engaging in risky sexual behavior…

The third study, of 440 high school students from New Hampshire, examined risky sex, such as premarital sex without a condom.

I am going to state the obvious here, since everyone is thinking it.  Teenagers are stupid and have this odd idea they are invincible and most these days seem totally unacquainted with consequences of their actions.   The fact we have sexualized everything from perfume to cheeseburgers is the problem.  If teenagers are screwing they are making a bad choice from the get go, why would you expect them to choose to use a condom? As for adults and risky sexual behavior, well I could probably find an equal number of idiots in the unspanked masses.  Some folks are just too stupid to live.

Masochism is a whole lifestyle and I bet you can find just as many unspanked folks living this lifestyle as spanked.  Speaking of spanking, show me the harm in consenting adults enjoying a good spanking.   Hell, there have been songs devoted to Smackin’ Ass.

I consider myself fairly open minded about sex and what works for people.  The philosophy is pretty simple for me.  Consenting adults should be left to their own kinks.  Stay away from the children and minors, leave the livestock and house pets alone, and for goodness sake keep the swapping of bodily fluids to salive and those sexually generated ya pervs.

Well, folks… 2008 is upon us. Holy shit. 2007 was a year of huge change for me. Most all of it was good; some was just simply difficult.

That said I welcomed the new year last night with my best friends and my husband resting safe in the knowledge my children are all happy and healthy, we all have a roof over our heads and good jobs. The coming year will finally see Kat become a mother and for that we are all thankful.

In the last minutes of 2007 the four of us stood in a loud club full of happy men and women and we danced, even Brian. The countdown sounded and I gave my husband a sloppy kiss and told him I loved him. The dance floor was packed and the air was heavy with smoke and the heat generated by so many bodies dancing and laughing. We hugged and kissed and toasting our good fortune, our health, and the hopes held in the year ahead.

When all is said and done with a year, it isn’t so much what you have bought or where you have been in the past 365 days, it is that you came through it no worse for the wear and if you are truly blessed, you came out better than you started. Dave and I consider ourselves among the lucky ones this year and I know Kat and Brian feel the same way about their lives. We all had a rough start to 2007 but by the end of the year it was all looking up and we find ourself eagerly looking forward to what 2008 has in store for us.

On that note I would like to wish everyone a great 2008 and full of good health and good friends… that really is all that matters in the end, isn’t?

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Funny Stuff

I soooo need this function…

There are certain things that really make me laugh and certain people that really make me laugh. Then there is Never. Never is probably the most spontaneously funny and genuinely sincere young man i know. He always manages to amuse me and entertain me even when I have the blahs. Below are a few recent exchanges with him. I first started chatting with Never on dalnet when I kept taunting him on his need for a new nick every five minutes. I would list the known nicks but then we would be here all day. Just note that for purposes of this entry: laserhobo = Never.

laserhobo:How are you?

JenDiva1969:i am fine. Singing with my radio, thats it

laserhobo:Bleh. You should be out fighting crime with your super-powers!

JenDiva1969:will you be my sidekick? You can ride in the side car and toss jujubees at pedestrians

laserhobo:Yes! You’ll be Terrifying Indestructible Woman with Lasers and I’ll be Humorous Ineffectual Boy!

JenDiva1969:hahahahahhaha

laserhobo:My battle cry will be “Ummm, get ‘em, Jennifer!”

JenDiva1969:i must post that somewhere

laserhobo:”Shut the fuck up, you idiot, that’s my real name and this is my secret identity!” “Oh, fuck. I did it again. Looks like they all have to die!” “We’ll just blame it on Scientologists like we always do.”

JenDiva1969:yes!!!

(more…)