The title of this post is “epic” so let’s define it so there is no confusion or accusation of misusing this fine word:

EPIC: Adj

1. noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero, in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style: Homer’s Iliad is an epic poem

2. resembling or suggesting such poetry: an epic novel on the founding of the country.

3. heroic; majestic; impressively great: the epic events of the war.

4. of unusually great size or extent: a crime wave of epic proportions.

I took off every Friday between Thanksgiving and Christmas as well as the entire time the kids were out of school.  The after Thanksgiving Fridays were obviously a misguided attempt to get my shopping done before the girls were out of school.  Yes, go ahead and laugh.  The first attempt was consumed by the need to find a dress and shoes for my Christmas Party.  What I thought would be a quick purchase and then I would knock off a chunk of my girls lists turned into a day full of retail frustration followed by a pedicure, cocktails, then nails and NO ACTUAL PRESENTS BOUGHT.  The second Friday off involved a mall.  An indoor mall… I hate malls.  I hate anywhere that serves as a place for stupid people to congregate.

For those of you who know me, you have no doubt how I feel about shopping.  I hate it.  If shopping involves a mall, my hand to God, I would rather give birth.  Malls represent everything I hate about society.  I am not talking about some political “the world is full of greed” bullshit, I love capitalism… I am talking about “I fucking hate people, especially in large numbers”.

Ten things that happened while shopping this year:
1.  I couldn’t find fancy shoes I liked.  Strike 1

2.  I had to stand in line.  I do not do lines. I do not have time for lines.  Jen Rule #124325 if there is more than two people in line ahead of you, put the shit down you do not need it that badly.

3. First run in with retail sales people happened early.

Hollister, while the shop of choice for my girls, is obviously where the misguided-overly thin-totally vapid youth of America works today.

Two weeks before Christmas, store is busy, ten people working, and wait for it… one hobbit working the register.  In her defense, she was doing it all as fast as she could.  However, that was not fast enough for me.

I watch three other famine ridden sales clerks standing around behind the counter talking about the latest way to purge carbs or maybe they were talking about how to best accent their skeletal frames, but whatever it was, they could have done it while fucking running a cash register.

I was obviously pissed; i do not do pissed off in a subtle way.  Bimbette number 1, the one in charge says, “Ma’am is everything alright?”  I smiled demurely, “Uhm, not really, precious.  There are twenty people in line and you need some more help on the register.”

She smiled while probably thinking, omg, not another crazy bitch. She said, “I am sorry about that but we are understaffed today.”

I smiled back thinking, I could snap you like a twig, honey. “I can count seven people from right here not counting your cashier.”

She had a moment where I could actually hear the squeaking of the underused gears of her brain working, “Yeah, well they are not trained on the cash register.”  Yes, she actually said that.

“Are you the manager, honey?”  She smiled, knowing the answer to that one, “Yes ma’am!”  I mean she was proud of that, obviously the morning team meeting over some sort of organic soy wheat germ smoothy had made her really excited about being a manager.  It was short lived, call me Killjoy…

“So as the manager of this fine establishment, are you telling me you are not trained on how to run a register?”  Yeah, that freaked her out.

She was sweating.  Tim Roth on Lie To Me would have had a whole bunch of shit to say about her body language.  ”Yes, I can use the register.”

Oh for the love of all that’s holy, “And the reason you are not currently doing so, precious?”  She was trying to figure out a managerial answer… she failed.

In fact she didn’t even answer, she just opened the other register and said, not making eye contact, “I’ll take the next person in line over here!”

I WAS THE NEXT PERSON IN LINE!  Fucking idiots.

5.  I needed liquor by 11:30 am

6.  Justice is an unbelievably annoying store.  It is bad enough that the prices are the equivalent of  retail sodomy, but add to that the non-stop “best of radio disney stars” going at full blast and I am ready to totally lose my shit.  They had Pillow Pets and Pillow Pets were on my list!  Best part?  There was a fucking line!

7.  I found that mixing wine with my meds ROCKS!

8.  It occurred to me at some point I was not only subjecting myself to torture, but I was paying to suffer.  My Visa card was smoking within an hour.

9.  Sarah is absolutely great at stopping me from getting in my car and fleeing.  This sounds like a simple enough task.  Maybe, but the urge to bolt hits me roughly every twenty minutes and anytime I see someone failing to control their barbarian children.

10.  I have no idea who Perry the Platypus is, but apparently everyone else on the planet knows him.

The week before Christmas, the week the kids were home and my family came into town with my oldest in tow was a good week, thank you Sister Creek Winery and Xanax. Love the family, I am an only child, I actually enjoy my parents mostly so I was looking forward to watching competent people bake and working jigsaw puzzles!  Of course the family was not in the door ten minutes when Mom said, “Raven and I need to finish shopping.  Let’s all go to La Cantera!”  For those of you who are not familiar with this retail shopping “city” it is in a pretty swanky area and they set it up with streets and stuff so you do not think you are in a mall, it is open air so you get to really enjoy the freaking unseasonal heat and humidity of San Antonio mid December.  I affectionately refer to La Cantera as “Locked in Terror” and the name is fitting.

While shopping with Sarah was traumatic, it at least went quickly.  Shopping with the family (that would be 7 of us because my husband was working, the coward! jk)  is always stressful.  My father wanders off, my mother is convinced he is buying something he doesn’t need to buy, he usually is, and then before you know it they all need to be fed.  In my mom’s defense, she is like me… give me a coffee or a diet coke and I will just push through lunch and get the shopping done.  My kids, even the 21 year old, and my father are like little birds with their mouths open waiting to be fed.

We go to Kona Grill!  I love Kona.  Everyone is totally on board.  Daughter no. 4 is happy they have pizza!  Daughter no. 2 is happy she gets a burger!  Daughter no. 1 aka the queen of a la carte is happy!  Dad insists on reading the entire menu when he just needs to get a burger.  Mom is easy.  I just want a freakin’ salad.  Then there is daughter no. 3 aka I like to keep things interesting by being impossible to please.  She wants cheese nachos.  Kona doesn’t have cheese nachos!  After 20 minutes of offering everything and my saying at least twice, “Dont eat!”  I was getting the look from my parents like I was Cruella deVille and starving my poor child.  So what do I do?  I order then walk to the food court where I proceed to get cheese nachos, a cheese quesadilla, and a gratis chile con queso for waiting.  Why do I get anything beyond the nachos she requested, you ask?  Because it is Daughter No. 3 and she will not want them when I give them to her!  I was covering my bases.  I return to Kona and said 10 year old decides she is not only in love with the nachos but wants to eat it all.  Dear God, she is like a locust, all 70 pounds of her.  Crisis averted, my blood pressure returns to somewhere in the “avoid an infarction zone”.

By the time we got home I felt like I had been beaten to within an inch of my life.  I was happy though, I was done shopping… I thought. Oh no!  Mom says, “We need to go to Costco in the morning!”  I cried myself to sleep that night.

The next morning I got up, had my parents version of coffee (think strong tea), medicated and resolved to survive Costco.  Just when I thought all was lost, Dad says he is staying home with the girls!  Daughter No. 4 bats her big eyelashes and manages to tag along, but she is easy to deal with and just happy to be around.  Costco turned into HEB and I wanted to cry.  I survived though.

We finally got around to baking two days before Christmas and I got to stay in my PJs all day!  Finally!  I had been off for nearly a week and hadn’t had a PJ day.  UNACCEPTABLE!  Christmas Eve was easy, did some cooking and went to Mass.  Came home, had tamales and then could no longer avoid the dreaded wrapping.  I do not wrap.  I do not have time for wrapping and that is why I have my mother and other people who care.  For the first time in years we were actually finished wrapping before midnight!  This is what resulted!

Here are a few pics from Christmas Eve when everyone was cleaned up and dressed for church.  I have posted more on my facebook page so you can go see the rest there if you want.

I gave up trying to get everyone smiling.  Those of you with children know what I mean.  I was just glad everyone was looking in the vicinity of the camera.

12 year olds are so “enthused” by photos

You think she is mine?

Some photos are just cooler in black and white!  Daughter no. 3 “the gillybean”

Another one with my chin! Baby girl is The Shit…

Me and Dave aka the man with way too many headstrong Latin women in his life.

Next up:  Part II:  The Aftermath, Part III:  The New Year…

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As you all know I am a fan of stating the obvious.  Some would even say I have a gift for it and do it with a certain flare and amusing style.  So when I saw this headline I just had to comment.  “US Has Iran Strike Plan, Just in Case”

Seriously, we have all heard the saying; Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. In what way is a plan to strike Iran news?  I would be totally fucking pissed if they didn’t have a plan to strike Iran.  I do not know about you good people, but I would like to think the military has a strike plan for fucking Minnesota just in case they ice fisherman decide to band together and seize the government.

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Andrew Morton promises bombshell secrets in his Angelina biography!

What could he possibly say about Ms Jolie that she hasn’t already owned or that we would at all be surprised about?  Drugs? Yeah we know.  Lesbian?  Yeah we know she went there and it is probably why half the guys love her.  Home wrecker?  Yeah, whatever; Jennifer Aniston should have popped out some babies is she wanted to hold onto her man.  She has cut herself, had a weird kiss with her brother, and countless other things.  What could this possibly expose to shock her fawning Hollywood fans?  What could turn Brad against her?  Maybe she voted for Bush! ;)

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She is just never going to be attractive...

Even a stunning Vera Wang dress cannot change the fact this poor child has her mother’s DNA and WC Field’s Bill Clinton’s (maybe?).  Nonetheless this is all compounded by the fact she is a vegan.  The child needs some fucking cheese and a juicy steak and maybe she will not look so much like a cadaver.  Chelsae, sweetie… EAT SOMETHING.  She needed to marry a Latino so his family could could feed her some pork tamales and tortillas!

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Color me shocked!  Charlie Rangel and Maxine Waters are criminals!   Give me a fucking break.  Of course they are!  For the sake of fairness, I would guess that 2/3rds or more of the legislative branch are also crooks.  Even so, culling the herd of these two would be a start to the housecleaning required to get this country back to the good side of the force.  Rangel is a fucking idiot.  Waters is a total “C U Next Tuesday” and Maxy and Chuck are most likely being fattened up for the slaughter by the Left to show the country Democrats are honest people and appease the “little people” before elections in the fall.  Talk about too little too late but nice try, Dems.  Now go shut up and color you all suck ass.

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Reason 124325 you cannot raise children in Hollywood.  They just get all fucked up.

Morpheus’ daughter makes a porno to jump start her career!

“I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape.”

My advise to you, precious… how about getting an education and making something of yourself instead of thumbing your nose at the fortunate life you have lead, huh?  Someone spay this idiot before she breeds.  Not even L.L. Cool J.’ s hot ass DNA would make up for this level of stupid and ugly.

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Ten things I can say nothing other than, “Fuck You” to.

1. Jersey Shore:  Snookie and a bunch of Guidos is suppose to be intersting?  I am not one of those reality TV viewers who likes to watch stupid people live their day to day lives.  I do not understand the need for this shit.  Ugh.

2. Bethany’s Getting Married:  Real Housewives of NYC was not enough.  We have to take the most desperate character, one who is actually not even a “wife” and give her a show of her own.  OMG.  It should be called Botox Bethany Bags a Beau.  Ugh.  She is just so fucking horrifying.

3. Seems Prince Charles feels his duty is to save the world! I say we hook him up with the Richard Gere, The Voice of Humanity and they can go get some hamsters at Petco and ride off into the sunset together.  Ugh.

4. Lydsay Lohan in or out of jail. Fuck you.  This is another one who needs to be spayed.

5. Lady Gaga protests Arizona.  I know if i want my cause to be taken seriously the first person I want onboard is Lady Gaga.  Obviously she is tired of just “stunning with her love glue-gunning” and is ready to be taken as the serious political minded freak that she is!

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Finally a Fuck You to HBO for tempting me back to True Blood which I kicked the habit on last season. Is it just me or is that the most lickable hip thingie since Bradley Cooper?  Aaaahhhh I hate you HBO!

TrueBlood

TrueBlood

I have worried over her health for most of her life but she really is a trooper.  I have cried tears of joy, pain, fear, and pride over this baby girl and every one of them has made her more precious to me than I can ever explain.  A friend is about to have his first child and says he worries about not having a healthy baby. I said to him, it doesn’t matter.  You love them, pray hard, and do whatever it takes to get them fixed.  Then you start all over again if you need to.  You will be strong enough because they need you to be strong enough.  She has made me a better mother, a better woman, and according to a few doctors and nurses the most difficult and demanding bitch on the planet, but that is my job.

She is fearless and totally unique.  She is blessed with the ability to laugh at herself and that is something most people never managed to achieve.  She doesn’t have a self conscious bone in her body and revels in acting like a fool.  What more could I ask for?  I am well and truly blessed.

Happy birthday, Mamita!  I love you so very very much.

2 month old only time she has ever been pudgy!

My favorite pic of No. 2 and No. 3!  Look at all those curls!

They were born 19 months apart and looked exactly alike

Big Brown Eyes

She is a good big sister even though baby sister is about as big as she is in this picture.

I call the Doc the next week because I have heard nothing and they say, “Oh, they were suppose to contact you they need more films on your left breast you have a suspicious calcification.  Call them…k?  Bye now!”

WHAT!?  Let it be stated for the record that I medicate for anxiety and I am Mexican.  We think we are dying whenever we have a hangnail.  I call the xray place they say, “We made you an appointment for next month.”

WHAT?!!  I obviously have a gigantic tumor eating at my breast and you want me to wait a month?  I said, “No, how about tomorrow?”

“Well, we are booked so how about two weeks?”

“No, how about tomorrow?”

“Well, ma’am we…”

“NO, FUCKING DO IT TOMORROW!”

“Oh, ok… 9am?”

So I go back and get another smash on Friday and the gal shows me the little calcification she is going to reshoot magnified.  OH GOD.  More discoveries… a 38H can be smashed to 1/4 inch if needed.  By this point I am beyond sore, PMSing, and having a nervous breakdown every ten minutes about my impending death by flesh devouring breast tumors.  She was bright enough to say, “Please wait so the Doctor can look at the films incase i didn’t get what he needed”

She comes out a little while later says I am good to go and they will get the results to the doctor.  I said, “Today?”

“Uhmm probably Monday or Tuesday.”

“Today?”

‘Maybe Monday morning.”

“TODAY!!!!!”

“You should have your GYN call this afternoon if you do not want to have to wait.”  shuddering mammogram tech says recoiling from the medusa snakes writhing on my head.

Went back to shopping with Sarah and then headed over to the Tap Exchange for a beer.  God i needed a beer since no one was going to get back to me because you know, that is how these fuckers roll these days.  Hubby met us at the pub and another coworker.  Was on beer 3 when the GYN’s secretary calls and says, “Just wanted to let you know the radiologist called Dr. Chang and they agree you need a biopsy.”

“Ok… what did the report say?”

“Uhmm… dunno.  Just wanted you to know try not to worry.  Bye now!”

OMG, really?!  So what do I do?  Other than drink more beer and prepare for my death?  Call my mother.  She says, “Ok, call MD Anderson’s Undiagnosed Breast Center in Houston and tell them you want to be seen and biopsied there.”

Thankfully my kids were actually with my folks all week for spring break in Nederland.  I called Anderson on Monday they said it would be 3 weeks until they could get me in.  Ok… What do I do?  Other than have a meltdown?  Call my mother.  An hour later I have a phone call from MD Anderson and an appointment in three days.  Have I mentioned my mother is THE SHIT?

Well, something about having an appointment at probably the best cancer hospital on the planet has a calming effect on you, mostly.  That and zoloft/xanax/dos equis.  Over the next few days I read everything on the internet regarding clustered microcalcifications and the cancer they can be indicators of, DCIS.  I figured worst case I would have to have a boob lopped off and I would get a new one, right? I  mean by Wednesday I was determined to have them BOTH off and get a new set.  Why fret about it, right?  Just lop them off and take my ovaries and uterus and cervix too just incase they might get interested in acting up.  (God!  That appointment is in two weeks! If my Pap comes back abnormal just shoot me, I am done)

I was told to bring all films/digital files/reports with me to Houston.  I go that afternoon to get films etc and have them fax over the reports. I arrange to come back the next afternoon for the digital files.  The next afternoon i am going get the disk and get a call from Anderson.  “Ms Pifer, I know you have a right breast, don’t you?”

“Why, yes… yes I do.”

“Well we only received a report on the left one”

“Ok, I am on my way over there will have them fax everything again.”

Get to the place and get the disk and say, “I just got a call from MD Anderson and they only received a report on the left breast.”

Dumb girl secretary is already confused.  “Doctor Anderson didn’t get all the reports?”

“Not, Dr. Anderson, precious.  MD ANDERSON HOSPITAL.”  how is it possible to work in Healthcare, especially radiology in texas and not know what MD Anderson is?

“Uhm we faxed what we had, a bunch of reports on your right breast.”

“Uhm no, you sent my left.”

“This says the right one with magnifications for calcifications”

“Uhm no.. would you like to see the bruising on my LEFT one where you smashed me?  I need the right breast report.”

“This says it was the right.”

Ok, time to get loud.  “Honey, i do not give a rat’s red ass what that says i am TELLING you what was sent and what was DONE”

Enter office manager Mr. Chance who is very nice, i remember yelling at him earlier on Monday morning about needing a report right the fuck then.  “What can I help you with, Mrs. Pifer?”

“Well, Mr. Chance.  You can find my right tit because apparently it is missing though as i am sure you can see i clearly fucking have one and i clearly remember having it fucking smashed.”  He moves precious out of the way and says, “Of course, here they are” he gives said precious a dirty look and smiles at me hitting “send” on the fax.

By this time the entire waiting room is getting a show and these little old ladies are laughing and giggling at the crazy Latina in 5 inch heels talking about finding her tits.

Wednesday I left work midday and drove to Houston and the Crown Plaze at Reliant Stadium area.  Fuck me twice, it was Rodeo week.  The freakin traffic was insane and way too many men and women in wranglers who should NEVER be in wranglers.  My mom drove in later in the evening to join me and keep me from killing someone at the doctors office for not doing what I wanted immediately.  Mom got there at 730 and said, “We need a beer!”  We went to the bar had a few beers and I slept like a drunk baby.  Go mom!

The clinic at Anderson was amazing.  The place runs like  well oiled machine.  I was there all day and was examined and wait for it… HAD THE MAMMOGRAM REDONE!  Yes, seems the place in SA didn’t feel it was necessary to actually get the entire breast and nipple in the image.  Basically the images were useless and they were ready to biopsy me!  By the end of the day I was told they would need to biopsy the cluster and that is was very small and could not be felt so it would be a Stereotactic Biopsy. They explained everything and I was pretty sane until they said, “We can schedule this for next week.”

“No, tomorrow or better yet, NOW!”

She smiled and said, “Let’s see what our scheduling girl can bully the folks across the hall into.  She is good.”

The scheduling gal gets them on the phone and says, “Let’s start bumping and moving I have an out of town patient and we need he in either this afternoon or first thing tomorrow.”

20 minutes later I have an appointment for 8am!  Go team !  Yay!  Then it occurs to me they are going to be harpooning me in the breast at 8AM!

This is what is involved in a Stereotactic Biopsy:

You climb a ladder to this table that is about 5 feet off the ground.

You put your boob in a hole and lay flat on the table with one arm down one above your head.  They raise you higher off the ground so they work under you.

They YET AGAIN start jerking/twisting and eventually smashing the breast in this mammogram thing.  Take more pics so they can see what they are aiming at.

The Doctor, who was fabulous, said he was gonna numb the skin, then make the 1/4 inch incision then numb again as he places they needle/machine.

Did I mention this entire process is done by a computer once the needle/gun is in the incision?

I actually didn’t feel anything  until the machine got to the location and shot several more numbs-it shots and he said it was because of the proximity to the nipple.  (calc was left breast at 2 o’clock 2 cm from the nipple.)

Once he had the needle/gun were he wanted it, he said hold still for the 1 millionth time and the nurse on the ladder beside me rubbing my back aka making sure my shoulders were immobilized I hear this loud noise like a sewing machine and realize it sort of is like one.  A needle was sticking and taking little wormlike bits of tissue etc.  He took two rounds of samples and said he had what he needed.   They put a titanium marker in my boob and took some more pics then it was done.  I really felt nothing at all.

However, my shoulder was numb and my neck was killing me.  The most uncomfortable part was the “dressing of the wound”.  The tech, “Jennifer” says, I am just going to apply pressure to stop the bleeding we are done just relax.  OMG  I swear to you she must have twisted my left tit a full 180.  Fucking shit.

After that I had to get another image in the mammogram to record the location of the marker which looks like a little grain of rice, but it is really much smaller because the images was blown up to roughly the size of a basketball.  I sat down after that and had a total adrenaline dump and starting shaking and crying because, well it was done and stress, nerves and fear finally just catch up with you.  I wasn’t hurting or even freaking out it was just like I couldn’t stop myself.  they were great, got me something sugary to drink and a warm blanket.  They are big on warm blankets there and I am a fan of warmed blankets.  They told me they would call me by Wednesday the next week and I could leave.

I spent the rest of the day with an ice pack shoved in my shirt but for the most part it was really painless and I didn’t even bruise.

I called them Tuesday to say i couldn’t make it to Houston wednesday for the followup and my Nurse called and said they had good news.  Everything was totally benign.  The calcification were not interesting and all tissue sampled was benign breast tissue and fibrous stuff.  The doctors did my risk assessment and said i do not need to do 2x a year mammograms I can do annuals.  She said to go back to the local xray place for my mam next year and if anything else appears to come back.  Calcifications happen and should be looked at and they would be happy to take me back into the practice if I have any other issues.

In the end, it was horrifying and frightening and eventually very alright.  I cannot say enough wonderful things about MD Anderson and their staff, facility, and professionals.  They make something very scary and stressful as easy as possible.  I thanked God, Mary, and whatever Saint I could think of that Obamacare wasn’t my reality.  I cannot imagine that I would get the speed, quality, and level of care if I was dealing with the HMO from hell. I bet I would be waiting a good 8 months for another mammogram and biopsy after going through 8 referrals and whatever else they medical overlords feel I need to do to hopefully die before they have to actually pay for any sort of treatment.

More later!

I am intrigued.  Will it find a market?  Romance/Adventure/puzzles.  Good luck!

The game is based on a book by Marjorie M. Lui who is a favorite of mine.

via: Lanier :)

Thanks again :)

The Demure One

Lots of fun…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3X5hIFXYU

cannot get the embed to work…

Yeah, I did what I could…I would have had more but I wasn’t having them at forty.

Regardless of the sourc

Why?  Well I had to fucking iron.  I have to do something while I am ironing, right?

I had my toes done this weekend as well.  They are now a delightful dark blue.

I am going to quit smoking this week.  Bought the Lozenge thingies and everything.  Have a doctors appointment this week to make sure it isn’t going to fuck with this weird sporadic high blood pressure thing I have going on.  Though honestly I think it is elevated a bit by virtue of hating to be at the doctors office, but better safe than sorry, right?

If the blogging becomes notably more beligerent over the next few weeks you know why.  Nicotine withdrawl and general surly attitude.

In other news:

Prince Fuknut has been swallowing and taking it without lube at this summer thingie with all the Latin American shitbag leaders.   I am soooo diggin’ the Hope and Change.

Veterans, pro-lifers, and those against illegal immigration are potential terror threats.  Wow, that is awesome.  If everyone would just get in line and start aborting fetuses, being a better drain on our social services and economy, and hating their country this world would be right fine right quick!

Ace is starting a book club and I am starting to worry about him.  If he decides we need to start reading Wally Lamb books I am going to have to pay him a visit and straighten him out. I will let you know if an Intervention is necessary.

One of the stupidest fucking things I have read all day and testimony to how stupid people are… via The Frisky

For 40 years, Americans have been banned from traveling to Cuba. But this week, Barack Obama eased travel restrictions to the communist country. Raul Castro, who took over when little brother Fidel was hospitalized in 2006, said, “We have sent word to the U.S. government…We are willing to discuss everything—human rights, freedom of the press, political prisoners, everything.” [CNN] — Way to catch more flies with honey.

Anyway, I am just cranky.  I need to hit the chocolate I think.

Have a good Sunday Night… I am going get supper and prepare to mock the two stupid bitches on Amazing Race who in the midst of abject poverty in India with children eating garbage she was moved to tears by the poor cows and dogs living in filth.  She is my new poster child for what is wrong with the world.

Rick Perry was slinging this little cheer inducing slogan around.  I am not a huge Rick Perry fan, but he definitely has some politics in his future plans, maybe??   I would be all for leaving the union.  Let’s call it a trial seperation.  Just a four year “break” we can try again in 2012.  This weeks Office of Homeland Security shit is just going to make this even more an issue.

Would this happen?  So very very unlikely.  I think the Federal government would have to try and take our guns here in Texas… that would do it.  I just have one request before I start planning to run for Supreme Ruler of Texas… I want all those leftist whiners in Austin deported before we form Texas/Jenniferland.

Just sayin…

link

European Commercial for a Schik Quatro Razor…

A cuddly beaver?

Mexican Maxipads make CSI work impossible…

Hahahah  I like this one…

Blowtorch to the cooch is always entertaining…

You cannot leave B.O.B. just lying around…

via The Frisky

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