Approximately 55 seconds into this is proof of the mad hip thingie Mr. Cooper possesses.  In fact the split second glimpse is probably enough to make me go see the movie because where there is a split second there must be more!!!  He dethrones previous best hip thingie King David Beckham.

A girl can never have too much hip thingie.  Like guys can never get enough tits.

I watched the trailer and while I will reserve judgement on Liam as Hannibal, I will did note the guy playing Murdoch looks way too much like Owen Wilson.  So much like Owen Wilson that I think the casting guys probably reallllly wanting Owen Wilson.  He looks enough like him and in the airplane portion of the clip he even has the same vocal inflections as Owen Wilson a la Armageddon.

None of that however matters!  Cooper has mad hip thingie.  I need to start a hip thingie blog.

Let’s start with Star Wars Ep 1-3 because this fucking shit is on my tv right now.  I cannot even deal with Episode 1 so let’s skip to Attack of the Clones.  Fuck you George Lucas.  Fuck you right in the ass.  I remember seeing A New Hope in the theaters.  Like most kids we had this “visual” in our heads of how kick ass the Jedi would be in combat.  How fucking dare you ruin that you fucking narcissistic bastard!  I didn’t think it was possible to take as many talented actors as he had to work with in these films and produce such fucking shit.

Oh but wait, Revenge of the Shit as I like to call it, that was a fucking comedy masterpiece, however unintentionally so.  Seriously, the scene when Anakin kills Mace then falls to his knees before the Emperor who then throws back his head and gasp/hisses “Yessssssssssssssss”  the camera angle is from behind Anankin’s head it is like he is blowing Palpatine and then the sound effects.  I was laughing so fucking hard the people behind me were telling me to shush.  Then on the lava planet with Padme when she gets all screwfaced and cried, “You are breaking my heart!” waaaaaaaaaa  oh fuck, I was trying not to spew my soda.  Fucking hilarious.  Sad thing though… it was suppose to be serious.  Oh fuck you.  He should have made it a musical, that would have been an improvement.

Forrest Gump… fuck you Forrest.  Don’t run Forrest, fuck yourself.  I fucking hated this film.  Hands down the single most overrated film in the history of cinema not counting the the Kubrick shit which everyone knows is all shit but says they love because they think it makes them cool.  Shit… all of it.

Titanic.  Oh for fuck’s sake, die already.  No offense to Leo, he can act, but I cannot get over that sort of weird “I look like I stopped maturing at 15” thing he has going on.  I have tried.  The movie is three hours of my life I will never get back and that fucking Celine Dion song made me want to kill things.

Max Payne:  What the fuck is this suppose to be?  Seriously?  I watched that and was like, wtf?  Unlike Leo, I actually like Mark Walberg usually, this movie was just pure shit.

Matrix II-III oh how I hate thee.  To be honest I think these two films could be edited into a single film that would have been pretty spiffy, though not great.  The Matrix is excellent fun though the whole hype about it being something “new” was bullshit.  Visually, sure but thematically?  Hellooooo Messianic themes are not new and the scenes in the sequel from Zion steal so literally from Herbert’s Dune that it is shameful.  Is it Neo Neo or Morpheus Morpheus or Muad’dib Muad’dib!  Then to make it worse we cut from that to what I like to call the “Bad Night Club in Miami” scene where they are dancing and bouncing around.  Ugh.  Take all that shit out.  Leave in the Merovingian scenes, the fight scenes MINUS the burly man brawl which was worse than watching a video game trailer and cut out every fucking scene that turned Trinity a bad ass gal in The Matrix into this simpering fuckng female.

I love Steve Martin as much as the next person, but fuck you to whomever cast him as Inspector Clouseau.  First off it is not possible to better Peter Sellers on this role but if you are going to try then you need someone other than Steve Martin.  If Mike Meyers had never done Austin Powers he could have done it, but not Martin.  Go back to playing my favorite dad in movies or better yet, desperate directors in Bowfinger.

Sideways:  I may have to reevaluate the Worst Movie Ever now that I think about it.  Forrest Gump at least had some decent music and I love Gary Sinese.   Sideways was a fucking pathetic tale of pathetic pussy men and their pathetic lives and it would have made a great short film about twenty minutes long where it ends with both the main characters eating a .45.  Virginia Madsen Oscar Nominated for ten minutes of screen time?  Granted it was not a bad ten minutes because she is the only non-pathetic character in the film and anything with Sandra Oh in it makes me want to vomit on principle.

Honestly I would rather watch a movie marathon of Elektra, Drop Dead Fred, and Troop Beverly Hills than have to endure even the opening credits of these films.

The first fuck you goes to airlines who fuck their passengers.  Seriously, 50 people stuck in a flying gas can on a runway for 8 hours!  Are you fucking kidding me?  After hour two of screaming babies and stinking toilets I would have faked a heart attack just to get off the damn plane.  This was express jet for Continental and well that about sums it up.  Continental is the reason two full days in Newark trying to get to and from DC.  NEWARK!!!!

Speaking of planes… People pissed at you for frivolous spending?  No worries, double the order the earners of the world will just pay more taxes to cover it. You know, if the pentagon says they do not need the first lot in their budget why the fuck would you double the order?  Because you are a bunch of greedy corrupt apparently untouchable fuckers.  I do not give a rat’s ass if they fly commercial or private most of the time.  That said, you fuckers want to ass fuck us with your health care insanity so I say get your ass on the next Continental/Express Jet flight with transfers in not only Newark, but Dallas, Denver, Atlanta, and FUCKING LAX.  Fuck You!

A double douche fuck you to Brimstone Crotch Pelosi today.  I love this nugget...

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) stressed during a town-hall meeting in Colorado this week that the healthcare bill won’t add to the deficit or restrict benefits and instead will increase access to care. But lawmakers have yet to settle on a way to pay for the bill, expected to cost roughly $1 trillion over the next decade. Pelosi has supported an income surtax on the highest earners, those making more than $280,000, while senators are considering a tax on insurance companies that offer expensive health plans.

That’s the way you roll isn’t it, you belligerent hate filled cunt?  Tax the people who fucking work for a living AND then fuck their insurance carriers with taxes so they can turn around and DOUBLE FUCK the earner by raising their premiums or just fucking going out of business, right?  In the end that is what all you fucking life sucking trolls want, isn’t it?  Everyone on the shit wagon of Government Healthcare.  I hope she gets a festering rectal abscess that fistulates and drains gallons of foul smelling putrefied flesh and pus.  In fact I hope it bursts while you are on that private jet and you funk up the whole stinking plane with what amounts to your brains leaking out of your ass.

Fuck you to Hollywood for the movie Time Traveler’s Wife and fuck you to every damn channel that is showing the fucking trailer three times an hour.  Note to the guys out there:  If you agree to go to this movie with your woman without getting the blow job first, you are fucking stupid because by the end of this drivel every urge you could have to get one will have evaporated.  Just tryin’ to take care of my boys out there.

Mmmm Christian Bale Goodness..

GI Joe! Oh Hell Yes!

Watchman

Mmmm Vinnnnnn

More Vinnnnn

Moves available in three sizes/qualities iPod/Divx/Dvd  $1/$1.50/$2.00 respectively.  This is great if you want to download movies to watch on the computer or especially portable iPod type thingies.  There are lots of titles and they are adding more everyday.  If they are running it anything like mp3fiesta.com I would think it is all great.  I have had nothing but good experience with the mp3 site.  Maybe Santa will give me a nice heft mp3 player with video for Christmas, maybe?

Depending on who you want to believe on the issue of who the “mother” of this new Paranormal genre is the answers will range from Anne Rice to Charlene Harris to Jennifer Armentrout.  But the truth is, Laurell K Hamilton gets this honor in my book.  She is the writer who basically created a subgenre of sci/fi fantasy and created a loyal following of readers.  She gave us Anita Blake and her world of vampires, zombies, and shapeshifters.

Laurell k Hamilton’s Anita Blake series is soon to be a movie and tv series. I was a huge fan of this series.  Like a crack addled fan of the series until Obsidian Butterfly which is like book 8 or something.  After that it was just my need for a fix that kept me reading and I am proud to say I have not purchased Blood Noir and have no plans to, no disrespect to Ms Hamilton, they just have soured for me.  I will however, watch any movie or TV series that is based on these books because it will start at the begining when this was a perfect series with perfect characters.

I think she has a steeper hill to climb for success than the Harris books.  The Stackhouse books are as you see them on HBO.  Very gritty, no over the top imagery, no amazingly handsome people etc.  That is a good part of why the books are so popular as well.  Their main character is very likable and seems like just a girl in a crazy situation.  LKH’s characters are classic Vampire and Shapeshifter in the fact she has painted an amazing picture of a culture and a lifestyle that is certainly doable on film, but entirely rests on the actors chosen to do the roles and runs the fine line of being TOO much flash and not enough substance.  If the budget is spent on what it looks like to the detriment of the cost of actors who can actually pull of the characters many of which are TOTALLY over the top then the project will not succeed.  It has the potential to be a huge film/series but will be judged in the same way Anne Rice’s Vampire books were judged.

Interview with A Vampire was not a bad film and while I was screaming louder than anyone about Sir Wackjob cast as Lestat, he came closest to making the character real.  Brad Pitt was WAY off and the pre-pubescent Kirsten Dunst was good as Claudia.  The screenplay was horrible though and the movie didn’t work.

There is much speculation on her boards about who will be cast as Jean Claude and Anita as well as various other characters in the first few books.  I think an unknown as Anita will fly as long as they cast a really strong supporting group around her.  The secondary characters like Edward, Olaf, and Dolph are going to be huge.  But still, in the end, the wrong Jean Claude and it fails utterly.  You can make a nobody actress a great Anita.  Give her lots of guns, decent lines, and a bit of quirk.  The gal who places Det. Reese in Life, pretty, petite, sarcastic.  That is the Anita Type.   Jean Claude is androgynous and pretty, she likes pretty men, LKH.  It is not a rugged male.  It is not a handsome male. It is a pretty male.  Good luck.

I look forward to the project, that is for sure.

You all know I am a sucker for a vampire movie or book of any kind.  I loved Underworld.  Underworld: Evolution was good but not great, still I enjoyed it.  Now we have the prequel: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.  No Kate Beckensale, but it is her hubby’s project like the first two.  This one has Rona Mitra in it as Viktor’s daughter and Lucien from the first film as well as Kraven and Raze etc.  Looks good enough to me.  Neck breaks… I tell you neck breaks are gonna happen.

Official site with better quality trailer…

Also mentioned in that article:  Johnny Depp signs on for fourth Pirates movie.  Like the third one wasn’t enough to ruin the entire series for me.  It wasn’t bad, but it was so very very boring.  The first one is perfect, the second one good, the third one meh.

Thanks to Cowtipper for taking care of my Vin needs…

I haven’t seen Batman yet, will probably see that when the kids are at my folks next week. That said, we need a bit of Gun Kata Christian Bale Hawtness

MGM has put a musical remake of its 1983 comedy “Valley Girl” into development, with Sean Bailey producing through his Idealogy Inc. banner.

Project’s based on an idea by Bailey and Idealogy’s Matt Smith, who will exec produce. The musical will utilize the “Romeo and Juliet” story of the original “Valley Girl” and sport classic ‘80s songs.

You know what time it is?  Yes, that’s right!  It is 80’s music time!

Josie Cotton:  Johnny Are You Queer?

I fucking loved the Plimsouls

The Flirts:  Jukebox.   God, I can smell the aquanet and Love’s Baby Soft perfume.

Payolas: Eyes of  A Stranger

Sparks: Angst in my pants

More Josie Cotton:  School is In

Lastly, the most overplayed song of the last 30 years…

Modern English: I Melt With You

I think Will F. is hilarious but I his movies are just hit and miss with me.  Blades of Glory, Elf, Zoolander, Anchorman and of course Night at the Roxbury are hilarious with moments of brilliance.  Then I see shit like Semi-Pro which which did not make me laugh one time or worse, Talladega Nights.  Ugh.  I turned it off 20 minutes in.  I saw him in some other movie last weekend with Maggie Butterfaceenhaul titled Stranger than Fiction which was charming in its own way but that had more to do with Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson than Will F.

None the less, Blades is fun and I am enjoying it.

Uwe Boll makes a video addressing the Stop Uwe Boll Petition.

via: Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Ok, the Clooney bit is spot on and as far as Michael Bay… well I would rather watch Transformers on mute than with sound. It sucked but has some pretty nifty effects. Also, according to IMDB his next few movies as Producer are a cop out.

1. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) (pre-production) (producer)


2. The Birds (2009) (pre-production) (producer)


3. Friday the 13th (2009) (pre-production) (producer)


4. The Unborn (2009) (filming) (producer)


5. The Horsemen (2008) (post-production) (producer)

Karl Urban… yum.