Daughter No. 1 sent me this ecard.  Cute cute…

Mama on My Mind

I have run across a few of you and added you as friends.  Where the hell are the rest of you?

Click my Badge Thingie and send a friend request so I can add you!

Been married one whole year today. Yeah, I got married on Cinco De Mayo. I am less likely to forget the date if it is a holiday. I am such a guy that way.

Yay us!

I made my monthly trek to Costco today and spent entirely too much money, as always. It was renewal time and the kid checking me out said I owed them fifty bucks, yay. Meh.

The manager Maurey suggested the premium membership etc and I said, well if I didn’t have to write a check to the IRS today, I might take him up on it. Then he says, “No joke, it is way past time for “CHANGE” in our administration.” I gave him the patented Raised Eyebrow of Doom look and said, “You did not just feed me the Barry O slogan, did you, Maurey?”

He said, well we need some change. I said, well you will have people spending a lot less money here when he taxes the fuck out of 100% of the people who shop here. You do not have poor folks shopping at Costco, sorry. Then as I am walking out and he is walking with me, of course, because he has to save the world from their conservative ignorance, he says “You know those aircraft that flew into the world trade center were driven by Saudis! Our Rose Garden best friends. Why are we in Iraq?”

I said, “Maurey, sweetie… We are in Iraq because a madman was refusing inspections and had been ignoring UN resolutions for far too long and our enemies were working in his country. Not to mention YOUR own party believed and had been preaching for years he had WMDs.” I wasn’t going to explain to him anything more difficult. Mind you, this was a grown ass man my parents age.

He said, “I am about as conservative as a democrat can be, but I cannot vote for a Republican.” To which I said, “That is a shame, because the republican is not all that politically different than Hillary if you take out healthcare and the fact he has a spine about Iraq. You must really want to pay more taxes and have your gun rights eroded to the point of nonexistent.” At that point he said something about just wanting change. I wished him a good day and said, “I would tell you good luck with your Change, but there is nothing good about that variety of change. Have a great day!”

The world is full of Sheep, folks. Full of sheep…

Their back…

Yes, a reunion tour and a new album are on the way.  Oh my…

Want details or just want to feed your masochistic tendencies?  Click Here…

Oh yeah and their appearance on Today Show

They actually all look pretty good.  I took my cousin to see them when she was 10 and she was bananas over it.  It was a sold out show at the Astrodome and if I had been able to hear over the screaming 11 year olds I might have enjoyed it more.  They are all dads and shit now so all their fans are in their 20s and wantin’ some of that Jordan Knight Falsetto action.

I am still waiting for the Aldo Nova come back tour.

COED’s Top Ten Drunk Foods:

Philly Cheesesteak
Mini Tacos
Leftover Pizza
Pretzels
Steak and Eggs
Cheese Fries with Gravy
Taco Bell
Leftover Chinese Food
Chips and Salsa
Dominos Thin Crust Philly Cheese Steak Pizza

Wtf???? Where is the Fucking French Toast?

In addition to French Toast I would like to add:

Pancakes
Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger Macaroni
Taco Cabana Beef Fajita Taco

Parents Deciding to Have A Third Child Met with Scorn…

My husband and I are getting ready to do what many couples in these brink-of-recessionary times would consider unthinkable. No, we’re not buying a Martha’s Vineyard retreat or planning a month in St. Bart’s or eco-decorating our house.

We’re planning to have a third child.

What shocks people, when we tell them, isn’t the thought of hauling three kids onto a place for a vacation, or even the idea of coming home every night to a houseful of runny noses and homework assignments. What gets them is the sheer financial audacity. Raising kids today costs a fortune. Last month, the Department of Agriculture estimated that each American child costs an average of $204,060 to house, clothe, educate and entertain until the age of 18.

But to me, a family with just two kids seems minimalist, and even a bit sad. Back in the 1970s, when my husband and I were born, sprawling families were more common. My husband had two sisters and, following a Brady-Bunchy set of remarriages in my family, I wound up with seven brothers, real and step. I’ve always fantasized about creating a “Meet Me in St. Louis”-style household of my own, with children constantly underfoot and enough relatives around to skip to my lou en masse.

And yet nowadays, people seem aghast if a couple wants more than two children. When Elana Sigall, a 43-year-old attorney in Brooklyn, was pregnant with her third, people came up to her constantly, she said, to admonish her: “You’ve got a boy and a girl already. Why don’t you just leave it alone?”

Amateurs I say! Three kids? Try four… Unless you had all three at one time (gives momotrips her earned acknowledgment) , I am not impressed. j/k

I only have four children and still I am usually a source of surprise for people when they ask about my family. I am not sure if they are more surprised I have four children or that they are all girls. I always piss off the folks out there with single children when I say you have no idea what parenting is really about. Bear with me before you start freaking out, parents of only children. (more…)

1. Oprah Winfrey makes me want to break things. I was enjoying my trip to the book store until I saw her magazine with her bulldog mug on it at the check out. It totally fucked with my chi.
2. Stupid people outnumber us 1,000:1 easily.
3. I have gotten more combative in my dotage. If you are a smart ass clerk, salesperson, or anyone working in the service industry; prepare for war.
4. If I have to listen to one more “True Believer” tell me how great Obama is, I might get violent.
5. I despise gum chewing and it should be illegal.
6. Calling Hillary Clinton a Fucking Whore is just silly. I feel certain she hasn’t been fucking anyone or anything in years. How old is Chelsae? 20something?
7. Keith Olbermann is a cocksucking lunatic. Seriously, the man isn’t well.
8. I like cheese.
9. I feel certain the Hobbits are all gay.
10. I blame my mood on that idiot with his kid on his motorcycle.

You all know I hate Oprah. I find her to be beyond a narcissist. I have also come to realize over the years she epitomizes the saying, “Money doesn’t buy you happiness.” Whether it is her weight going up and down, which say what you want, we all know that yo-yo dieting is something you do when you are unhappy with yourself so you lose weight. Then you start stressing and life starts being harder and you eat your weight back on + 10 pounds. Repeating often for typical results.

She has a fucking magazine or is it two now where she puts her own face on the cover of every single issue. She preaches about knowing yourself and doing good things but seems only interested in making sure everyone is aware of how wealthy she is and how she spends her money. She devotes hour long shows to over the top retail therapy a couple of times a year.

She has a media empire. She is one of the richest people in the world with a cult like following of women who tune in everyday to feel better about themselves and cry. Ugh. She was in a very long relationship and couldn’t bring herself to marry. She seems to have only one person she trusts, this Gayle person. She has gone from one self help philosophy to another, over and over. She is lost, this is not hard to see.

(more…)

Finally managed to get everything into a blogroll.  Also, you will notice on the inside right column there is a nifty little “Moron Headlines” feed as well.

Enjoy all the Moron Bloggers have to offer!

If anyone is interested I can send you my opml for the links and headlines for your own blog.  I am pulling all these in from Google Reader which I live and die by.  I entered them all so you wouldn’t have to.  Well at least i think so… you should be able to use my opml so lemme know if you want it.