“We need to open a dialog…”

You know what?  The next person I hear say this I am going to open a hole in their ass the size of my foot.  Open a fucking dialog with the terrorists Iran.  Open a dialog with my ass, dammit.  Fuck dialog.  Dialog doesn’t get shit done.  I know this! I work for the fucking government!

“Global Climate Change”

Yes, assholes.  I like to call these things that happen periodically seasons.  Ok, I know that is not what they mean, but still.  I firmly believe if Al Gore and the rest of his disciples would just shut the fuck up there would be a dramatic Global Cooling.  Speaking that cocksucking piece of human waste.  Took him about five minutes to say what we knew was coming.  Rosetta sums ups my thoughts pretty accurately…

“Presidential Exploratory Committee”

Also known as Giant Scam whereby the federal government pisses away more of my tax dollars. I would like to have an exploratory committee tasked to find out if exploratory committees actually accomplish anything.  I am smart that way.  You do not just have these inspirational thoughts.  You have to work for the government to get them.  We are a special kind of special.

I will add more as they occur to me…

Ok, I simply cannot tolerate Sandra Lee of the Semi-Homemade fad.  Her show on FoodTv is SHIT.  Shit I tell you.

I am a good cook and I am a foodie.  I am a huge fan of using as many canned, prepared, etc foods and making them something amazing.  I have a houseful of kids and while I love to cook, I am not going to make an all day soup when I can do one damn near as good in about 45 minutes.  That said…

What this bitch does is not making something better.  It is taking something bland and making it uhm… making it the same but putting a fucking garnish on it and calling it gourmet.  Ugh.  I could kind of hang with her in the beginning today.  She made olive puffs.  Take puff pastry (which I love) and roll it out a bit, smear some good stuff on it, cheese it, roll it, cut it, egg wash it, and bake it.  Voila!  It was edible except for the fact she basically smeared an entire can of tomato paste as a base.  Uhm, not so much.

I actually laughed aloud at her Asparagus risotto which came out of a box, not that there is anything wrong with that, but making it “homemade” is not the result of basically chopping an asparagus stem and floating them before you cover it.   What she did next will haunt me for a while…

(more…)

Crazy crazy crazy.

I HATE SHAREPOINT!

There… I feel better.

The Saga Continues…

Ok, this is just overly disturbing and apparently suicide bombers have a tent full of Goth Girls waiting for them in paradise with bottles of Boone’s Farm.

Memri TV

via: Ace

Global Warming Loon of the Day Winner is… Dr. McPherson:

Dr. McPherson has a bachelor’s degree in forest resources from the University of Idaho, a master’s degree in range science from Texas Tech University and a doctorate in range science from Texas Tech.

Not to knock Texas Tech, a fine fine university, but they should have throttled this guy. I have a dear friend who is totally into the whole save Gaia thing and he has trouble with me because I am the ultimate skeptic. I cannot help it. Anytime you have people screaming, screeching and calling wolf every five minutes it tends to dilute the message. Add it to obviously bad science and a Spokesman For Gaia who is a sanctimonious asshat who suffers from delusions of grandeur and I am not buying.

(more…)

Plebian at that Daily Dollop does a bit of reverse translation for the lefties, to make them better understand why the peons are so pissed.

Imagine that GOP Presidential candidate Eustus P. Hogg III is speaking to the Upper Mudflap Rotary Convention in Mudflap, Pennsylvania, and he says the following:

“Y’all know that in some places, like San Francisco or New York, there are boys who grow up without ever learning what it means to be a real man. So they dress like metrosexuals, they drink lattes instead of coffee, they’re incompetent with basic power tools, and they get degrees in law or philosophy instead of learning a real trade that adds value to the country. It’s high time that they got their painted nails a little bit chipped by helping make this country great, don’t you think?

“I understand that being a real man cuts into the amount of time you can spend sticking stuff in your ass to find the limits of your accommodation. But I don’t think the founding fathers really valued that kind of activity.”

I particularly like how he point out anal accommodation, being it is the cornerstone of the entire left wing philosophy.

He goes on to describe the apology as well:

“I’m sorry that a whole bunch of pantywaist queerbaits got upset about my comments yesterday. I think it’s a good thing that they’re not real men, and I think it’s fine that they like to spend time grooming their eyebrows and debating Proust or whatever. Those are fine American pursuits. The whole thing is a distraction from my ‘Gun in Every House’ campaign that the out-of-touch Limousine Liberals don’t want to talk about.”

Go visit the Daily Dollop, I have been amused for about an hour or so. I highly recommend the Vasectomy Chronicles and his adventure with Dr. Nuttencutt. Pleb, I will remember your balls in my prayers.

I made my monthly trek to Costco today and spent entirely too much money, as always. It was renewal time and the kid checking me out said I owed them fifty bucks, yay. Meh.

The manager Maurey suggested the premium membership etc and I said, well if I didn’t have to write a check to the IRS today, I might take him up on it. Then he says, “No joke, it is way past time for “CHANGE” in our administration.” I gave him the patented Raised Eyebrow of Doom look and said, “You did not just feed me the Barry O slogan, did you, Maurey?”

He said, well we need some change. I said, well you will have people spending a lot less money here when he taxes the fuck out of 100% of the people who shop here. You do not have poor folks shopping at Costco, sorry. Then as I am walking out and he is walking with me, of course, because he has to save the world from their conservative ignorance, he says “You know those aircraft that flew into the world trade center were driven by Saudis! Our Rose Garden best friends. Why are we in Iraq?”

I said, “Maurey, sweetie… We are in Iraq because a madman was refusing inspections and had been ignoring UN resolutions for far too long and our enemies were working in his country. Not to mention YOUR own party believed and had been preaching for years he had WMDs.” I wasn’t going to explain to him anything more difficult. Mind you, this was a grown ass man my parents age.

He said, “I am about as conservative as a democrat can be, but I cannot vote for a Republican.” To which I said, “That is a shame, because the republican is not all that politically different than Hillary if you take out healthcare and the fact he has a spine about Iraq. You must really want to pay more taxes and have your gun rights eroded to the point of nonexistent.” At that point he said something about just wanting change. I wished him a good day and said, “I would tell you good luck with your Change, but there is nothing good about that variety of change. Have a great day!”

The world is full of Sheep, folks. Full of sheep…

Why do celebrities and musicians have to fucking talk? Why is that?

Alicia Keys, who’s music I enjoyed, has not only imbibed the Black Panther Kool-Aid, she has transfused it. Ugh!

NEW YORK (AP) – There’s another side to Alicia Keys: conspiracy theorist. The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: ”’Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. ‘Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist.”

Keys, 27, said she’s read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck “to symbolize strength, power and killing ‘em dead,” according to an interview in the magazine’s May issue, on newsstands Tuesday.

Another of her theories: That the bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled “by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing.”

Yes, sweetie. That is exactly right. Fight the power! Oh yeah, while you’re at it, shut the fuck up!  Ugh, it is like a national hysteria these days.  Gold Plated AK47 to symbolize strength, power, and killing ‘em dead?  Another fine role model for black America this gal.

I can only imagine what it is like to sit and have dinner with celebrities like this. Can you imagine the dinner conversations? Closest thing I can think of would be Obama in a room full of San Francisco liberal elitists and trying to share his insights on rural Americans. Can you imagine that conversation?

• giggle *

  And Bush is a Liar?  Give me a break.  I cannot remember the last time this fucker said something that wasn’t a distortion or just a flat out lie.   No doubt the entire thing is raaaaaaaacists because he looks kind of dark in that footage,  just sayin’...

  via: Perfunction