On to the show…

Crazed Sex Poodle, are you fucking kidding me? Imagine my surprise that the world’s most arrogant self centered ass is a fucking predatory male!  Imagine my surprise that the man who was vice president to the slimiest bastard to ever hold office tries to get a “happy ending massage” from a legitimate massage therapist.  Fucking please… Really? I will admit the whole crazed sex poodle thing conjures images of Extreme Poodle on TLC and made me giggle.   Am I shocked this comes days after the announcement of the break up of the couple that inspired Love Story?  Oh for fuck’s sake.  No one with that much pent up hostility and unrequited ambition could be anything other than a fucking Crazed Sex Poodle.  You know the worst part of this whole thing?  Not that he obviously likes to treat massage therapists as hookers, but that I have to fucking see his swollen fucking head on the news again.  I bet Bill Clinton is laughing his ass off as he hears about this while sandwiched between two middled aged bleach blonde hair dressers who call him “Big Daddy.”   Fuck you, Al and you can stick that in your “Lock Box” and save it for a rainy day.

==

Sir Paul McCartney is a douche.  Yeah, that is not news, but I really gotta acknowledge this particular achievement in douchebaggery by the most overrated musician of all time and enviroweenie:  Talking about the oil spill insanity…

The Beatles legend said: “Sadly we need disasters like this to show people. Some people don’t believe in climate warming – like those who don’t believe there was a Holocaust.

“I don’t accept the criticism of Barack over the oil spill.”  ”I think he’s been great. It’s tough if we Brits whinge that he’s whingeing at us. Tough, then don’t spill oil.”

This man is a goddamn genius.  An intellect of such astounding depth that I am feeling pretty bad about myself for thinking that not only is Barak Obama the biggest bumbling fucking idiot on the planet but that Sir Paul is a pathetic vegan loving piece of shit.  What is wrong with me?  Oh yeah, I have a fucking brain in my head and said head is not lodged in my ass.  Fuck you, Paul.  Go count your money or just go shut up and color.  Just stop fucking talking.

==

OMG!  You mean Obama might fucking be corrupt?  Say it isn’t fucking so!!! Yeah, Blagodouche’s trial is getting ugly.  I hope their is a sex tape and a cocaine tape and a donkey in Tijuana tape and everything else.  Congratulations again to the citizens of the USA who voted Prince Fuknut into office.  I am so fucking impressed with both the Hope and the Change going on.  If your hope was to have the biggest moron possible in charge of the world, you are a fucking winner.  If you the change you were after is what is left after you pay taxes then you are on a fucking streak.  Head to Vegas, mother fuckers.  Fuck you, Fuck you, and Fuck you again voting public for giving us four years of global humiliation and oh yeah… the worst possible economic future for our children.  Go Team!!!

==

Whooping Cough Epidemic in California should scare the shit out of everyone.  The article basically blames parents for not vaccinating their kids.  Valid point. I was talking about this just the other day.  This particular disease is not to be played with. A parent who chooses not to vaccinate their kiddos for pertussis is just asking to plan a funeral because the shit is virulent and horrible.  Yeah it is California, home of the all natural green loving tree hugging organic food gives me an orgasm crowd, but they need to get over themselves. If they do not want to vaccinate their healthy little offspring then they need to keep them out of public schools.

That said, there is absolutely NO mention of the off the chart number of illegal immigrants who are in California with their many children who have probably never scene a vaccine. Could it be that allowing a huge number of people to swarm into a country without any regulation and become a part of the community without having to do pesky things like get vaccinated you might have an issue with this sort of stuff?  Correct me if i am on the wrong path here, but it just seems like it might possibly have something to do with this as much as parents too stupid to have their kids vaccinated.  Fucking stupid shit.

==

Finally a few observations that need mentioning:

1. Nancy Pelosi is still a useless dried up old cunt

2. Obama is a wanker

3. There isn’t a fucking thing to watch on TV and i am pissed off

4. I really need to buy a new pair of shoes. – The Demure One

Really?

Looks like the drapes and part of the disco ball reclaimed from a Studio 54 garage sale.  She best watch out, Barry is gonna start thinking about his coke days and ask to snort a line off her ass at the worst possible moment.

Fuck consensus. Fuck compromise and ignoring the base of people who helped get you to where you are, only to embrace somebody who will stab you in the fucking back the first chance he gets.

Amen!  Consensus is a fantasy and compromise is basically another way of saying, “yes, you can fuck me right up the ass but only if you use lube!”

I will admit a soft squishy place in my heart for Eddiebear who drops the f-bomb as often as I do and with such delightful inflections,conjugations, and compound words like: fuckbagel, fuckitude, fucktrain, fuckfisters, Spongefuckingbob Squarefuckingpants, and the soon to be famous six-nippled-fucksheep.  I have to stop now I am getting all giddy. ;)

I had the honor of meeting Lt Col West at CPAC thanks to Kat McKinley aka Sparkle when we were standing in line to go eat lunch at the hotel. Keith Olberdouchenozzle hates this guy and thinks he is the devil which just made him one of my ten favorite people evah.  Olberdouche kills me the way he gets so… so… trembly and earnest as he has his daily nervous breakdown aka disassociation episode of the day aka whatever the fuck they call that segment of his show where he dry humps his desk in a moment of overwhelming self righteousness.

If this guy isn’t elected then there is something wrong with the world, but then again there is soooo much wrong with the world.

His answer to “How do we identify the enemy?” asked by a former marine and Redstate blogger at some symposium.  After the rest of the panel sort of flounders Col West pipes in with the “goods” and I would love to get this guy with THIS answer in front of every person who likes to use the phrase, “True Islam is a religion of peace.”  I will not go off on that tirade, I have done it before…maybe next week… for now, Col West says it better than I every could and without any “f” bombs or other colorful language.

If I could stomach posting a video of Prince Fuknut “rallying the crowd” in his so called charismatic mastery of oration i would just to show how much of a joke he is compared to the following:

Today was good and above that interesting. Marco Rubio owned the morning and rightfully so. He was funny, humble, and said some great things. Stating the obvious, which you all know I am a fan of.

Liz Cheney and a surprise visit from her Dad made the crowd go nuts.

I grabbed a coke and some chocolate to make it further through the day and returned to my seat just in time to see this:

Who introduced Mitt Romney. I love Mitt. There were many murmurs of “How the hell did we ever let this guy bow out in 2008? We traded this guy for McCain?” Yeah, it blows.

Dick Armey spoke earlier in the day and made me giggle. A favorite quote that has been posted other places but I will post it again!

“You’re intellectually shallow, you’re a romantic, you’re self indulgent..You’ve proven to already to be, even to the recognition to your fellow Democrats perhaps the most incompetent President perhaps in our lifetime, you have no ability, you only have talent, and your purpose is income redistribution. You methods are transparent, you create the perception of a crisis in order to be able ride to the rescue and achieve your self indulgent purposes of controlling the distribution of income in America”

I just ran down to the hotel gift shop and paid too much for a chocolate fix, that said… the funniest thing i have heard in days comes from the mouth from the very nice lady working there when I asked for a bag.  She says, “I can give you one, but this is D.C. we have to charge for bags.  5 cents. It is all the stores in this area, even the CVS!”  i was laughing… hard.

For the record I am not even close to the oldest person in the room!

I think judge napolitano is speaking or something in a minute, but I am going listen to mitt at 130 after I have more juice.

I will blog later about Rubio because blogging on my iPhone is lame. Btw why didn’t I know how hot he is?

“Wake up to reality, the earth is fading fast. We only have one life to live, we’ve got to make it last. Wake up to reality, this life is not a game. So take a stand and do something. It’s time to make a change.”

Yeah I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw it.  Anyway, I posted a comment in the blog, which is awaiting approval, asking what the districts curriculum will cover now that so many questions have been raised about the validity of all this “global climate change” stuff.  I was even nice enough to say I agree we should teach children not to waste and to be “good stewards” of society and the environment (yeah I know, but I want her to have no reason not to approve the comment) but I had issues with teaching children from a curriculum based on untruths and irresponsible science. We will see how it goes!

So, as I said, I have been reading all the articles this morning.  I keep reading things like, “Yes, we know there are flaws, but it was taken into account in the final findings” or “Even though the data was inaccurate we feel the results are still valid”. Wow.  I totally want some of those drugs!

I want to live my life with that fucking philosophy.  Imagine getting your electric bill and saying, “Yes, I understand we used this many bazillion watts of electricity, but I feel the bill should only reflect half as much because we really do not feel we use that much electricity.”  or better yet.  “Bank of America, I need my account adjusted this month.  I didn’t intend to buy that many pairs of shoes, I was just a little off that day so I think it is only fair to put that money back in the account.  After all, it is really not that important.”  Maybe the IRS!  “Apparently I underpaid this year because I forgot about the 20% raise I received and failed to reduce my exemptions.  At the end of the day after I figure in that my life has not become 20% better, I think it is unimportant that I actually made that extra money.  I am just paying the normal amount.  Okay?”

The world is going crazy, folks.  We have these nutballs admitting data is wrong but somehow through magical weather math the data doesn’t actually effect the fact we are all fucking going to die if we do not turn over our lives to the UN Climate Swine and the Sierra Club.  We have Obama who thinks he can just spend spend spend and push his shit we cannot pay for while upping the debt limits and he thinks it is not big deal!  These folks are like a bunch of petulant pre-teens who have no concept of consequences.  Why would they?  They never fucking suffer them when they have taxpayers like us to pay the piper.  I would like to take the UN and the current administration and put them both in the corner.

People always talk about the Hope and Change of Fuknut.  All I hear is doom, gloom, pessimism, and scolding.  You should listen to this speech if you are my age you will remember it as a child, if you are older you will remember it as literally what Hope and Change is suppose to be, if you are young and have never heard Reagan speak, then please listen to this and maybe you will understand what all of us “old folks” are so damn pissed off about.

The Left would have you believe we are all the harbingers of doom, negativity, and the unenlightened world view.  The reality?  We are all that is left of the optimism of America.  Reagan was many things, but foremost me, he was an optimist.  He believed unwaveringly in the intrinsic good of Americans and held dear faith that freedom would always win over tyranny.  The act of optimism in the face of the world he inherited is a staggering achievement.  To believe so wholeheartedly that this nation is great enough to overcome one of the worst economic times in modern history is the epitome of Hope and Change.

We live once again in a political climate where elected leaders believe they can tax us into prosperity.  I had one of those light bulb moments earlier when I was thinking about what to write here.  You know, one of those, “Well duh, jennifer” moments.  You know why they think they can tax us into prosperity?  Why they think that bloating the government is going to give us prosperity?  Well, I will tell you if you are slow on the uptake like me today. It isn’t that they are being stupid.  It isn’t that they think all this taxation and government spending is going to push us back to a robust and growing economy.  Helloooo, that isn’t what they want.  Their prosperity doesn’t include any of those things.  It  is as many more eloquent people have been saying for decades, prosperity to the Liberal mind is about dependence not independence.  It is about regulation not free markets and economies.  It is about fitting in not rising above.  Success is not judged by doing extraordinary things; success to the Liberal is celebrating mediocrity.  It is about everyone getting a trophy just for showing up, not for winning, not for excellence.  It is about providing excuses for failure instead of incentives for success.  It is about being beta not alpha. It is about nothing ever being special.

I miss special things.  I miss the celebration of special people.  Barak Obama is not fucking special!  Let me say it again in case someone out there didn’t hear me scream it.  HE. IS. NOT. FUCKING. SPECIAL!  He is average in the worst possible way.  He is not a beacon of hope unless the hope you have in your heart is to live in a world which celebrates mediocrity and being like everyone else.  Gee, I know I raise my children everyday with they hope that they will be just like all their friends.

The left revels in the creativity of Hollywood and the Arts, but when you think about it, I mean really think about it, there is an abysmal lack of creativity coming out of the so called Artistic Communities.  Movies for example, today’s blockbusters are loaded with the political apologist point of views veiled in spiffy artistic effects and bright shiny things to distract us from  the glaring message, “Americans are evil tyrants who live only to subjugate that which is different and they do not understand.”  Well, fuck you.  Seriously, go fuck yourself and the self righteous horse you rode in on.

I am sick and fucking tired of your message of doom and gloom.  The sky is falling and if we do not open our minds and our pocket books in support of the Cult of Mediocrity then we will all perish.  Again, fuck you.

This country, not the politicians, not the media, the actual country defined as the people who live in it, who pay the bills, who get up everyday and go to work, raise children, pray for strength and patience… well this country is starting to wake up.  It is rumbling and grumbling.  It is getting pissed off and the shit is going to hit the proverbial fan.  We are not the problem, we are the solution.  We are the greatness that is America, not a bunch of sheep following the shepherd of the Beta is Best Ideology.

Happy Birthday Ronnie, you were The Shit and you are greatly missed.

It reads like a dream order for a wild frat party: Maker’s Mark whiskey, Courvoisier cognac, Johnny Walker Red scotch, Grey Goose vodka, E&J brandy, Bailey’s Irish Crème, Bacardi Light rum, Jim Beam whiskey, Beefeater gin, Dewars scotch, Bombay Sapphire gin, Jack Daniels whiskey … and Corona beer.

But that single receipt makes up just part of the more than $101,000 taxpayers paid for “in-flight services” – including food and liquor, for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s trips on Air Force jets over the last two years. That’s almost $1,000 per week.

Courvoisier?  She must be rollin’ with Kanye these days.  Yo, Nancy was robbed!  She so totally deserved that Botox of the Year award.  Seriously though, the bar tab is interesting.  I am disappointed with the ghetto Johnny Walker Red, surely Nancy deserves Blue Label.  It is the least the American people can do for her.  2.1 million dollars over 2 years using Air Force jets as her own personal flying party bus.  Nancy deserves only the best for all the hard work she is doing.  Though if i were her I would not be too keen on pushing universal health care because she is gonna need a new liver if she keeps drinking like that. To expect Nancy to fly with the masses of unwashed is simply unthinkable.  What if they touched her?  What would happen to her fine couture clothing if she had to sit on a commercial airline seat?  Oogy pleb germs might get all over her clothes!

On to more bullshit…

Athiests.  Yeah, as a general rule I do not give a rat’s red ass about what anyone believes or doesn’t believe.  I have had non believers in my life who were good people and who did not feel the need to tell me I was a retard for believing or accusing me of taking part in the gigantic Roman Catholic Conspiracy to rule the world.  In return I didn’t tell them how sad it is that they cannot believe. Life is about personal choices and as long as those choices do not shit all over me and you live your life with integrity then we have no issues.  That said, if your particular variety of Atheism is such that you are offended by a Mother Teresa stamp, then you need to just get over your fucking inflated sense of self worth.  Seriously.  They are telling folks to boycott USPS and encourage a letter writing campaign.  Hmmm that actually may work in the USPS’s favor.  I mean maybe this was the plan all along!  No one writes letters anymore so they picked the Atheists to piss off.  They probably had a bunch of meeting to brain storm how to increase revenues.  What a bunch of fucking retards.  Btw, they had no problem with the MLK stamp or the Malcolm X stamp.  Apparently their religion didn’t negate their accomplishments.  I wonder if Dr. King would have considered his Christianity “incidental and irrelevant” to his accomplishments?  I wonder if Malcolm X would agree that Islam was not a defining force in his life?  These guys must be some sort of new retarded version of Atheists.

On a depressing note:

I visited DSW today with my rewards check and there wasn’t a fucking thing I wanted in the entire store.  I blame Obama.  I was at the mall yesterday and I visited like ten stores and nothing nothing nothing.  Everything sucks.  Skinny jeans, neon colors, bright prints.  Excuse me fashion trend deciders… I remember the 80s, and while it had some amazing things about it, fashion was not among them.  Are you fucking kidding me?  Cold shoulder shirts, leggins, boyfriend shirts with bright colors, and for the love of GOD… ballet flats.  It is fucking tragic.

On a good note:

I am totally in love with Doctor Who.  I am in the middle of season 2 and loving it.  Some of them are really stupid but in a good way.  When the BBC gets it right, they get it very right.

I have four episodes of Fringe waiting for me. I think I am going to bank about 6 of them then watch them all over a weekend!  Yay!  I love Walter.

On the “Fucking enough already” note:

I do not give a fuck about how much money Avatar has made.  Honestly I have no desire to see it.  Not because of politics, though that certainly doesn’t help, but mostly because I haven’t forgiven James Cameron for inflicting Titanic on the world.  I will never forgive him for paying Celine Dion to sing that fucking song from hell.  I will never forgive him for casting that perpetual childlike looking twit Leonardo in the film.

I also do not give a shit about Lost.  I do not care that it is the last season.  Honestly they could have added ten minutes to the last episode of season 1, sent them home, and ended the show on a high note.  It has been downhill since then.

My new thing:

I have spoken often of my coworker and favorite person ever, Sarah aka Jen’s Keeper.  She is a font of great expressions which are contagious.  It started with, “Really?”  Which she says only slightly less than she use to and I seem to say at least once an hour.  A few weeks back she started with the newest benign commentary that has taken on a life of its own.  We were working on something that probably was not ours to do but we ended up doing it and on a tight deadline when a box popped up on her laptop that says, “you have been infected with a trojan”  She sighs, rolls her eyes and clicks the “yes I will call helpdesk box” and says in total exasperated seriousness, “I do not have time for Trojans.”  The meme of the month has been “I do not have time for…”  This of course has infected me and another co-worker.

A few days ago I get a text on the way into work which said, “I do not have time for motorcycles”  meaning of course one was inhibiting her from driving her normal mach 3 speed to work.  My text reply was, “I do not have time for cars!”  This is how life goes all day, everyday.  “Jennifer, we have a meeting at 1pm”  grumble grumble “I do not have TIME for meetings.”

Things we have not had time for over the last few weeks.

People
Ovaries
Rain
Garage Door Opener Batteries
Runs in my stockings
Ghetto Shopping Malls
Parking Ticket Validation and Parking Garages… Parking in General.
Trying on Clothes
Blemishes
Deliverable Reporting
Deliverable Training
Exel
Visio
Microsoft

Yes, I am aware this if probably only amusing to us, but in the end, that is all that really matters.  As long as we are amused, everyone lives.

Some random “What the fucks…”:

What the hell is up with Luby’s?  Seriously, it is almost as expensive as going to a real restaurant.  The worst part?  What happened to the little lady with the tea cart?  She is gone!  You know what they have now?  Annoying little ladies who bother you like vulture waitresses.  I honestly think Sarah is going to stab one with a fork soon.  “Is there anything i can get you ladies?  Butter? Hot sauce? Ice?”  I kick Sarah under the table to keep her from saying, “Yes, you can get the fuck away from me and go find a goddamn tea cart!”  She is so awesome that way.  If she is like this at 23 imagine what she will be like at 40!

Drug commercials on TV: Really?  Do you feel so self conscious about the length of your eyelashes that you are going to take a drug to make them longer and thicker?  A drug that can cause some pretty weird side effects?  Do what any self respecting drag queen does, sweetie… visit the M.A.C. counter and get some fabulous false eyelashes!  The best ones are the anti-depressants drugs.  They will make you feel so much better, but by the way, if you are a guy you might get sexual disfunction.  So if you are not depressed enough for medication before you take it, you dick ceasing to function normally or your inability to ejaculate will see that you soon are.  Speaking of dicks, erections lasting longer than four hours might be a bad thing.  Contrary to popular thought and commentary from guys I know who say things like “Four hour erection?  I am not going to the emergency room!  I am going to call some people and pull out the video camera!”... this cannot be a good thing.  I hear they have to drain the blood from your dick with a needle.  I do not have a dick and the thought makes me cringe.

Amazon:  I finally get a Kindle and now Amazon and MacMillan books are in a pissing contest about pricing and some of my favorite authors are no longer available!  I bought my Kindle in an effort to keep the vampire porn flowing into my home with the least amount of effort possible.  You two guys need to figure this shit out. I do not have time for pissing matches.

Crying men on TV.  Hell crying men in general.  For fuck’s sake, get a fucking grip.  Guys crying because they are eliminated from Amazing Race or Top Chef or whatever.  Guy’s crying because life is just so fucking hard.  Find your sack, dammit.  I know we have a breast for a president, but it is soooo not ok to cry like a fucking woman. I am a woman and i do not cry as much as these bitch ass men do.  I am a woman with PMS from hell and i do not cry that much.  I am sorry your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore. I am sorry you lost the game.  I am sorry you are so fucking pussified you cannot just say, “Fuck it, life blows sometimes… NEXT”

Fucking pet commercials.  The ones with the bulldog is fine.  I think bulldogs are pretty spiffy and I am not an animal person, but their ugliness makes me smile.  But there is one with a dog talking about being a “super pooper”.  I do not need to tell you how much this commercial disturbs me.  I do not need to hear about the shitting habits of a fucking chihuahua while I am eating dinner and watching tv.  People have fucking lost their minds with their pets in the last few years.  They are DOGS, people.  Dogs are pets.  They are DOGS!  They are not children.  They do not need a therapist, a spa, their own furniture, and they certainly do not need to be with you every second of of your life outside of work.  Do not bring Fifi to the store, the gas station, and do not even think of bringing her with you when you visit.  I do not care about your dog.  If one more person at work shows me a picture they took over the weekend and it is their ruined dog in some absurd picture I am going to lose it.  No it isn’t cute that he fell asleep on his back.  No he isn’t cute in his little hat and booties.  No she isn’t just precious in her goddamn tiara.  IT IS A FUCKING ANIMAL!  Feed it, play with it, let it be an animal not some sorry substitution for children which you are too damn irresponsible and self centered to breed for yourself.  I am really sorry that you cannot put your kids in their cage or lock them in the laundry room while you go to work or out clubbing or whatever it is you do.  Fine, do not breed, but for the love of God stop with the fucking pet insanity.  Dogs should be dogs, not pitiful codependent creatures who live only to fill your idle time and make you feel like you are nurturing something.

The fucking weather.  Enough already.  It needs to either be HOT or COLD.  This 30-50 degree temperature shifting every other day is killing me.  I do not have time for weather!

Finally… Obama.  SOTU… Fuck You, fuck you, and Fuck you.  Tax relief for millions already.  Really?  Who?  People who are not fucking paying taxes anyway?  You are a fucking boob.  Your administration is a freakin’ joke.  Your congress is skating on thin ice and your term’s second half is gonna be a whole other ballgame.

Ok… that should hold the world for a while.

Harry Reid and his “negro dialect” comment is just another in a long line of racially derogatory comments from the left over the last few years.  We do not have to look past his Vice President in February of 2007:

“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

Yeah, Joe… I cannot think of another mainstream African-American male who is smart, clean, and speaks well.  But not only did he get forgiven and barely called on the commentary, he was honored (if you want to call it that) with the Vice Presidency.

Robert Byrd former KKK Exalted Cyclops and Kleagal who has stood against just about anything related to racial equality that has come before the Senate in his career.  He is old though, remember?  He deserves some slack.  Right?  Well as recently as 2001, part of the enlightened age, he repeatedly used the reference “white n*ggers” on Fox News Sunday.  But really, that doesn’t count.  Besides he was on Fox News, I am sure they spiked his water bottle with evil conservative cooties or something.

The rush to defend Reid’s remarks by prominent Black Americans is fucking absurd.  The President accepted his apology, bfd.  Like he had a choice on that.  If he had said, “Fuck you, Harry.”  He would just be a bitter black man. All I know is any prominent conservative committing the same “error in judgment” they would be crucified in the media and the combined efforts of the Left would do everything possible to see their political careers over.

Saddest thing about all this?  You do not even have to point it out anymore, everyone knows how pathetic it is.  No one is surprised when a prominent Democrat spews some racial slur and no one is surprised with the prominent blacks in their ranks rush to defend them.  Just simply pathetic.

A couple of my favorite points the author makes, and many are made…

Five security layers down: you now finally arrive at the only one which Ben Gurion airport shares with Pearson – the body and hand-luggage check.

“But here it is done completely, absolutely 180 degrees differently than it is done in North America,” Sela said.

“First, it’s fast – there’s almost no line. That’s because they’re not looking for liquids, they’re not looking at your shoes. They’re not looking for everything they look for in North America. They just look at you,” said Sela. “Even today with the heightened security in North America, they will check your items to death. But they will never look at you, at how you behave. They will never look into your eyes … and that’s how you figure out the bad guys from the good guys.”

Of course they don’t look anyone in the eyes! This is America and that requires a fucking spine as a populous.  We have spent two generations weeding these horrible habits out of our citizens.  Do not make eye contact.  There is a fucking major corporation, which will remain nameless, who actually has a policy on how much eye contact is acceptable before it is “threatening”.  That number is less than five seconds.  Are you fucking kidding me?

“Do you know why Israelis are so calm? We have brutal terror attacks on our civilians and still, life in Israel is pretty good. The reason is that people trust their defence forces, their police, their response teams and the security agencies. They know they’re doing a good job. You can’t say the same thing about Americans and Canadians. They don’t trust anybody,” Sela said. “But they say, `So far, so good.’ Then if something happens, all hell breaks loose and you’ve spent eight hours in an airport. Which is ridiculous. Not justifiable.”

It is fucking sticking your head in the sand.  That is what this country has become of late.  How do I know this?  Because countries like Afghanistan and Yemen etc still fucking exist!  They haven’t be wiped off the map on sheer fucking principle for fucking with our way of life.  Prince Fuknut isn’t the problem so much as the culmination of the pussification of America.  He cannot even say the word terrorist.  He is so fucking politically correct and so fucking dickless that he cannot conceive of there being a scenario he cannot buy/spend his way out of.

We do not have a terrorist problem in this country, people!  We have a Healthcare crisis.  Yes yes we do.  Really, I mean it.  That is the central crisis we face.  Yes yes it is… move along now.. nothing happening here… nothing happening in Detroit… oh no no no that wasn’t a terrorist attack! It was an alleged attempted possible thingie to maybe on an off chance render a large number of Americans permanently unable to breathe on a day that misguided and uneducated masses celebrate the birth of the alleged son of some “divine” being.

1.  Daughter No. 3 is on the mend and doing great.  Thanks be to God.

2. I love my new job been there almost a year and I do not want to quit!

3. My family is healthy and happy

4. Flight 1549 and a man who cannot walk on water but can land a plane on one.

5. The New Star Trek Movie!  Loved it.  Love Zachary Quinto.  Sylar is my favorite.

6.  Tea Parties, pissed off Americans, and maybe, just maybe a nation ready to say “get the fuck out of my capital” to politicians. 

7.  I rediscovered my obsessive love of jigsaw puzzles and now my obsessive DISORDER is causing them to stack up in a corner of my bedroom becuase I do not have the same obsession when it comes to putting the glue on them.

8.  Jennifer Rardin released a book for me to end the year.  I love me some Jaz Parks. Also a bunch of other great books came out this year not just the stinker on the last list.

9.  Glee.  I love Glee.  I mean I freakin LOVE GLEE.

10.  Fox didn’t cancel Fringe and therefor I love Fox!

Imagine me, as president… yeah Iknow… try hard.  I am enjoying my family day with the girls and whatnot in some fabulous location, not fucking Hawaii, and I get a call, hopefully sooner than 3 hours after it happens, that says, “Yo, Oh Exalted Demure One and Leader of the Free World, some ass fuck tried to blow up a plane bound for US soil with some device he picked up in Yemen!  AQ is behind this.  Just wanted you to know, ma’am.” 

Imagine now that I am in my current state of estrogen induced delightfulness and you get something like this… “Get all the important fuckers in the room or on the horn and I will be there in a few, this gives me the ass!  I was about to eat my oyster dressing and I have to deal with this fucing shit.” 

I would of course have to get out of my flannel PJs, which would cause further deterioration of my mood, and dress appropriately to meet with the important fuckers.  I am thinking something black and severe, but with some fucking wicked hot 4 inch red stilletos that scream, I could totally punctuate your trachea with this if i were so inclined.  I would head over to wherever the fuck I had the important fuckers waiting with “that look” that makes my kids run for the hills and grown men cross their legs without knowing why on my face when I entered the room.  They would all stand up and I would say, “Sit the fuck down, everyone but the Homeland Security asshats, you fuckers can stay standing for the duration of this meeting.” 

I would sit in my chair at the head of the table and open a folder or some shit with important information and such in it.  I would briefly peruse it in total silence so everyone can be a bit more on edge.  Someone, probably some asshat from Homeland Security who knows he is fucked, would say, “Ma’am if you would have a look at the summary report…”

“Did someone hear a noise?”  I would ask one of my spiffy generals sitting around the table.  “Sounds like a buzz, very annoying.”  I would then turn to my Chief of Staff and say, “I thought we successfully got rid of all my predecessor’s idiots in Homeland Security.” 

He/she would say, “We did but rolling out the new stricter policies has been slow going.”

He/she would get The Look and then I would say something like, “Ok, guys… this seems pretty straight forward.  Let’s blow up all of Yemen for a start.  When can I expect to see some after action reports and pictures of the large craters and shit on satellite?”

The entire table would stop breathing for a few seconds, a few seconds too long and I would say, “Was that somehow unclear?  Did I stutter?”

Some advisor would say something like, “Ma’am, did you just suggest we blow up an entire country?”

“No, I didn’t suggest anything of the sort, I believe I ordered the total destruction of Yemen.  It wasn’t up for debate.  Suggesting infers a gray area that simply doesn’t exist.”  I would then pour some coffee and be pissed because there is no Ready Whip to put on the top and then point to one of the standing Homeland Security folks and say, “You, do something within your skillset, get me some fucking Ready Whip.  Can you do that without something blowing up?” 

One of my PR folks would say, “Jen, you realize there is going to be quite a bit of outrage if you simply bomb Yemen into oblivion.”

I would chuckle and say, “You are so precious.  Do you really think anyone is going to give a fuck?  Who the fuck cares about Yemen anyway?  Do I have any Yemini people in this room?  Does anyone depend on anything Yemin produces?  I googled Yemen and they export Oil, which we will own after I plant a fucking flag and claim Yemen as our newest freaking territory.  They export coffee, which we have South America for, and dried salted fish… i do not even eat dried or salted fish.  Dried salted fish is gross and smells funny, I say this is a fucking win/win for us.  We are doing the world a favor.”

“Jen…”  a General would say then clear his throat.  “Are you saying you want us to bomb Yemen into dust?” 

“Yes, Dear.  Use all those spiffy warheads I let you buy and fly over in those shiny new Aircraft and blow it to smitherines.  Fun huh?”  By this point I am pondering the fact I need a fill because my nails are getting too long and how I should be drinking a glass of wine after having eaten way too much oyster dressing and turkey which I haven’t been able to do since I am in this fucking meeting.  Everyone would be talking among themselves trying to figure out how to talk me out of my idea and I would let them for about 20 seconds then I would stand up and say, “Ok, folks… I am gonna roll.  One question before I get going.  Do we have the terrorist in custody?”

Homeland Security guy No. 3 says, “Yes, Ma’am” 

“Good, is he talking?”

“A bit.”

“Ok, get what you can out of him then put a bullet in his brain.”  I would say casually and turn to my favorite General, the one with the new planes and say, “You will let me know when the pictures of burning Yemen are available to see?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” 

“Awesome, you are The Shit!”  I would say as I started walking out of the room.  “The rest of you fuckers, do what you do but if i see one of you bitches on the news taking shit from The Left about this without throwing the fuck down, I will have your asses over a fire.  Tell them we blow shit up when people fuck with us, it is a simple fucking concept.”

I get that it is a separate application and all, but seriously why install with a http://domain/pwa and not give me access to the “Domain” part of that in the navigation?  Maybe I am too anal about this.  Maybe I just like shit to make sense.  I am going with the latter.  The best I can figure at this point is the damn thing is not only a separate application it is also in its own site collection.  Fine, but wtf  is the point of the main wss root site?  eh?  Why have it there at all?  Why do I care?  Because I guarantee you someone will forget to type the /pwa and will find a nice empty wss site and be “confused”  I cannot blame them!  Relax, Jennifer… you can just do a redirect so it just loops back over to the pwa part, right?  Sure, but that just rubs me the wrong way.  It is there, thus it should be used, dammit!  /end rant about Microsoft and my love hate relationship with the company.

The two middle girls are at the theater with hubby watching New Moon with all the other screaming girls in the county.  He txt me to say, “The lights just dimmed and the ceiling is cracking from the high pitched screams of the girls in the theater.  God love him, and better him than me.  I stayed home with the little one and ordered pizza and wings.  I watched the latest episode of Dexter and took a nice hot bath.  The only bad thing about evening for me so far is there isn’t a damn thing on tv now that I have caught up with Dexter.  I will probably get off this pc and work my puzzle for a little while.  God, I am so freakin’ boring.

Higher income taxes will have to be paid for addition troop support in Afghanistan!

First off… if I thought for one minute that a single cent of ANY tax increase would go to fund the troops I might say, ok… let’s suck it up and cope.  But seriously… what a douche.

Vatican says New Moon is a No No

Guess I need to go to confession or something since my kids are at the movie as we speak.  I have never understood this whole “occult” thing.  I honestly would rather than watching Twilight than another episode of Suite Life with Zack and Cody.  Ugh.

I honestly cannot read any more of this bullshit national news.  On to totally superficial things…

wtf happened to Heidi Klum?  I watched the finale of Project Runway and she looks a totally different person and not in a good way.  Gone are the smile lines which I personally think were pretty cool.  I first thought it was botox, but I honestly think she had an full blown eye job.  Ugh.  Eye jobs rarely look natural in any way.  Her efforts to “retain youth” has actually made her look about 10 years older.  Should have kept the laugh lines, she was lovely.

Anyone watching White Collar?  I find it quite fun and while I am not a fan of pretty men, that is one seriously sexy actor.  I wonder if he has hip thingie?

My love of Fringe is growing by the week.  I am a fan and if you do not watch it, shame on you.  Between Fringe and Glee I am starting to love Fox again.

1994: YasserArafuck, Claim to Fame?  father of modern terrorism, plague on goats and young boys over the course of his syphilitic life.

2001: United Nations, Kofi Anan aka Coughing Anus.  Claim to Fame?  Oil for food and countless other shameful uses of the worlds funds for self promotion and personal financial gain.

2002: Former President Jimmy Carter.  Claim to Fame?  Biggest fucking idiot on the planet, America’s Principle Apologist, General Assfuck.

2005: IAEA, Mohamed ElBaradei.  Claim to Fame?  Lying about Iran’s nuclear capabilities.  Overall UN type Douche Bag.

2007: Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, Al Gore  Claim to Fame?  Beta male of a generation most note for screaming “The Sky is Falling” anytime he gets near a microphone.  Put that in your Lock Box and keep, Al.

Now we have Fuknut being given the award for bringing peace to the world?

The deadline for nominations for the prize was Feb. 1—two weeks after Mr. Obama was inaugurated.

Well that is rather inconvenient, eh?  Maybe his community organizing was far more interesting than we all realized.

So soon? Too early. He has no contribution so far,” former Polish President Lech Walesa, who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1983, said Friday. “He is still at an early stage.”

Lech, honey, what the hell do you know about peace?  Oy, this is the “new” peace.  You know the one where you just promise a bunch of shit you know that will never happen and fart pixie dust at the ignorant masses that public entitlements have fostered and voila! you are president and Nobel prize winner!  Get with the new century, Lech.  Duh…

“The committee wants to not only endorse but contribute to enhancing that kind of international policy and attitude which [Obama] stands for,” said Mr. Jagland, a former Norwegian prime minister, said at a news conference.

“Very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world’s attention and given its people hope for a better future,” the Nobel committee said in its citation.

Oh well now it makes perfect sense!  He isn’t winning an award for anything he has actually done but more an award for what he might do.  It is  hidden potential thing.  Way to go Fuknut!  This is win number two on what you “represents” being the determining factor for winning and the complete ignoring of what your actual substance as a man or god forbid, your actions prove you to be. Congratulations on another victory and serving as proof positive that mediocrity and integrity are no longer hurdles to jump in the pursuit of success and world recognition.

Obama told reporters in the White House Rose Garden that he wasn’t sure he had done enough to earn the award, or deserved to be in the company of the “transformative figures” who had won it before him.

But, he said, “I will accept this award as a call to action, a call for all nations to confront the challenges of the 21st century.” Link

Oh yes, transformative indeed.  See list above.  You are now officially the darling of Europe and King of All Beta Males.  Damn fine job.  Now scurry along before you are late for your leg waxing appointment.  You know how cranky Michelle gets when you are hairier than her.

“Let me be clear, I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of American leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all nations.”

Yes, dumbass, the rest of the world is fucking overjoyed with not only the fact you are destroying America’s power in every way, but they are damn near orgasmic at the sheer fucking speed in which you are doing it.  Congratulations, again.  Stupid cunt.

Speaking of stupid cunts:

Former President Jimmy Carter says the Nobel Peace Prize awarded to President Barack Obama is a “bold statement of international support for his vision and commitment.”

The fact you are still breathing offends me, Jimmy.  I admit it.  The fact that you still speak just pisses me off.  Bold statement of international support, yeah that is gonna put folks back to work and stabilize the dollar.  Take your fucking dementia and go play in the street.  You are a blight on the world but at least you can say you are no longer the worst president in American History.