A legally insane killer was on the loose in the state of Washington on Saturday, two days after he escaped during a field trip to a county fair, authorities said.

Call me wacky but who the fuck takes a fucking criminally insane killer to the fucking county fair?  Really?  ARE. YOU. FUCKING.SERIOUS?  This is just fucking brilliance on the part of the state.  I get that the folks on the left coast are all sorts of fucked up and live in basically a alternate universe, but seriously?  Want to know what this guy did?

Paul was committed to Eastern State Hospital after admitting he strangled and slit the throat of community activist Ruth Motley in 1987, KREM-TV reported. According to court documents obtained by KREM, Paul believed Motley was a witch and killed her in response to voices in his head.

He subsequently burned a deer carcass as a sacrifice, according the documents.

Well hell he just slit a throat and strangled someone, let’s take him to the fucking fair and get him some goddamn cotton candy and a few rides on the fucking Tilt-A-Whirl.  What kind of inbred piece of shit administrator decides this is ok?

“He’s the only paranoid schizophrenic—I’ve seen hundreds, maybe thousands of them—that frightened me,” Dr. Frank Hardy, a licensed psychiatrist, says in one of the documents, according to KREM. “The first time I took one look at him—and I’ve never done this before or since—I asked the jailer to remain in the room while I examined him.

Of course they haven’t found his ass because either he is crafty and swift or the “Massive Manhunt” in Spokane County, Washington was being run by Shaggy and the gang.

“I believe he would respond to his delusions and his voices again” if released, Hardy wrote.

Well I hope some poor unsuspecting family or camper doesn’t end up dead because of this guys little “field trip”.  Jeeze, you cannot make this shit up.   But wait!  Let’s not judge this guy too quickly!

But Paul “Coyote” Neumann, a disc jockey at Spokane radio station Kix 96-FM, has an entirely different view of the escapee. Neumann has known Paul for 12 years through volunteering at the hospital and correspondence by mail.

Paul is a talented artist, Neumann told KREM-TV.

“I was just amazed by his ability. I always took him as a savant,” Neumann said. “I never knew that he had murdered somebody until three or four or five years later.”

Neumann described Paul as a “gentle soul.”

Well hell!  There isn’t a fucking thing to worry about, folks.  El Coyote… THE RADIO DJ… has proclaimed him a gentle soul!  That totally makes me feel better.

“I’ve never seen him raise his voice; I’ve never seen him get frustrated; I’ve never seen nothing but kindness from him,” he told KREM.

“I get mixed emotions because I do see the sweet, softer side of this individual, but I’ve never seen him unsupervised, I’ve never seen him not medicated,” Neumann said. “But that’s not to say in another 12, 15, 20 hours without those medications that he doesn’t revert to those demons.”

Well, Coyote you probably haven’t seen him off his fucking meds either!  Something tells me that two days off his meds might be the beginning of the end of his fucking artistic phase!  It seems the only person in this whole damn fiasco with any presence of mind is the escaped crazy man who manages to stay hidden!  Mental illness is some scary shit and by virtue of being institutionalized this guy was supposed to have SANE people making sure he was not a danger to everyone and himself.  We are not talking about a guy who gets off his meds and runs around naked singing the Age of Aquarius!  I never cease to be amazed at the fucking stupidity of this kind of shit.  Weekend furloughs for felons went well in Massachusetts, just ask Dukakis!  For fuck’s sake, people.  The guy was in a mental hospital for a fucking reason and if he wouldn’t have been crazy he would have probably been a lifer in some maximum security prison!  Fucking county fair!

A review has been launched on the incident along with the policy that allows patients to take trips, said Susan Dreyfus, secretary of the state’s Department of Social and Health Services.

A fucking review?  Oh I feel better already!  Hey fuckwads, how about firing a bunch of fucking people starting with whichever dumb fuck doctor or nurse or in house cruise director signed the slip to let this guy go to the fucking county fair and ending with the fucking stupid ass who created the idiot policy in the first place.  Better yet, why don’t they just let this guy move in with the stupid ass that signed the form to let him go play?  That’s the ticket.

In breaking news:  Nancy Pelosi in a joint appearance with Fuknut had this to say, ” We feel certain had this poor soul been covered under Government Insurance back in 1987 none of this would have happened!” /end snark

UnFUCKINGbelievable.

Note to Washington State Board of Prisons and Lunatics:  Jail and institutionalization are not a goddamn summer camps!

Voila!  You are now talking to someone in Arizona probably.  Someone who speaks fantastic English and is eager to make you stop cursing.

I like to share my wisdom.  Love you!

The Demure One…

“All this shit is mine. You want to take something, go ahead, but link back, please and do not take the whole fucking article and my fucking picture and create a fucking category called “Rants by Jen”, ok? I am all about fair use and sharing my wisdom, but shamelessly ripping my shit off wholesale and then acting like you are doing me a favor is a bitch ass move. Copyright Demurejen © 2008 until the end of fucking time, bitches”

This all started a few days ago in comments.  A trackback and then a comment asking to repost my shit.  Link here… Problem?  Mr. Whitman said I “graciously” agreed and re-published my shit before he actually ASKED me if he could.  That was bad enough.  I have asked him to remove my picture from the blog and have had no response.  He did abbreviate the post and link back to me after our first interaction but the picture still remains.  What still remains  is presented as though I write FOR HIM.  I write for me!  I write only here at Demure Thoughts unless I am asked to guestblog somewhere else and I haven’t done that in years.

To further make this an issue apparently he is removing the comment I posted about the way the article is representing me as doing this for his blog AND he is taking editorial liberties with the comments of folks who have called him on it.  He turned Alice_H’s comment into something hideous and well, he is a bitch.   Best part?  He is trying to make this seem like he is doing it all in a altruistic effort to promote my blog?  Fuck you.  The only thing saving his ass from an all out assault right now is that he doesn’t have any ads on this blog and doesn’t stand to make a cent off my work.

Stupid thing is, Mr. Whitman, I really didn’t mind you posting a large chunk of my shit on your blog.   What I mind is the disingenuous way you have represented me and my fucking intellectual property.   You aren’t funny, you aren’t smart, you probably aren’t even this Hog Whitman person you claim to be, what you are is a bitch and the biggest bitch move of all was the fucking editing of folks comments and the outright removal  of mine mentioning concerns that I was being represented as writing for your blog.

Thing is, Firefox is a pesky little bitch and once it has a session it just doesn’t want to let it go, so I have the goddamn comments and then I have the “edited” version your readers see… well actually MY READERS since you have a big whopping three posts and a third of those are MINE.  In fact the only fucking comments on your blog are comments on MY UNWILLING contribution.

Why oh why must people be bitches?  I was nice, because I am fucking nice!  I didn’t email right off and say, FUCK YOU TAKE IT DOWN YOU BASTARD!  I said, you could have waited for a “yes” before you fucking posted it.  To which his comment was an “oops my bad” and an edit to the intro followed by a “well your policy said i could take it” and you took my fucking picture!  I have asked you repeatedly to take that down.  You are representing to anyone landing on that site that I write the content.

See, this is why it doesn’t pay to be nice with people.  This is why bloggers get totally fucking territorial with their shit.  It is bad enough we have to deal with people fucking linking our shit to sites who’s soul purpose is google ads and keyword bullshit but to have to deal with this is just fucking absurd.

Mr. Whitman, if my sort of humor is what you were really trying to aggregate as you explain in your comments and email then you have totally fucked that up.   It is also not an original idea in the first place.  There are a few folks out there doing their Around the Moronosphere posts that do much of the same thing.  Round up the funnies with the serious and share with respect.  What you did was a bitch ass move and then to whine and run at the fucking mouth after you are caught with snark that it is MY FAULT you stole make me think you voted for Obama.  Funny you chose to lift a post which ends with me asked, “Where are all the fucking adults?” because stealing is amateur then pointing the finger at someone else when you are caught is the realm of five year olds.

Note:  I have no issue with people moderating comments and removing offensive comments.  I have done it myself as I am sure many other bloggers have.  That said, I do not edit comments made on my blog without leaving the original content in strike out and frankly I think I have done that once or twice.  I do not selectively edit comments to tell a story, fucker.  I will however turn comment moderation on if I need to in case you decide to make another bitch ass move and start slamming my site like a troll.

Think about all the good I could do for the world! It would be like a PSA with attitude.   Let me know what you think in email or comments.

I might just make a new tab for it.  hmmmm pondering.

God that had me cheering at some parts.  I love it.  Does anyone have a count on how many times he said, “But wait!  We are gonna have a second half recovery!”  Fucking brilliant.  I feel you, my friend.  To make it better… I think he is listening to Tool in the background.  I could be wrong.  But if so then that is just fucking poetry.

Thanks, Hotspur!

Seriously… it is a well established fact of life a man with empty balls is simply easier to get along with, less likely to bitch, and more likely to do your laundry.  Men are fairly simple creatures, women too mostly, but men especially.  As Bruce would say, “Keep ‘em empty.”  I say, “Feed ‘em,  Fuck ‘em, and don’t nag ‘em.”  That’s the key.

Some women will start saying they feel objectified.  That a week of sex “isn’t going to help my marriage.  Sex isn’t love and connection and emotional healing.”  Sex isn’t about some all consuming moment of emotional “oneness” 99.99% of the time and no amount of banging away is going to save a broken marriage, but it might get one back on track that has just lost its way a bit.  You are not going to get emotional healing from getting it on, that is true.  That said… So what?  This is what the shoe department at Nordstrom’s is for, sweetie.

Start screwing or get a lawyer because no marriage is going to survive long without sex.  At least not one that you are going to be happy in.   If you can count the days since the last time you were naked with your man or woman in double digits you need rectify the situation because someone in that pair isn’t happy; even if they are not complaining.  Yeah I realize that illness and other things can come into play, but for healthy people to have a healthy marriage there has to be some nekkid monkey sex on a regular basis.

/end rant from Dr. Jen

1. Never trust birth control.


2. Never leave a roux cooking to answer the phone.


3. Always get your child support court ordered and garnished from his wages.  Trust, me on this one.


4. Never stir Mexican Rice once it is covered… STOP TOUCHING IT.


5. Swallow on the upstroke.


6. If your complexion will let you wear red lipstick, by God wear it, Woman!


7. You can never have too many pairs of shoes.


8. Always have 2 cans of diced tomatoes, 2 cans of enchilada sauce (green & red), 2 cans of black beans, white rice, chicken stock, and corn tortilla chips, heavy whipping cream, shredded cheese, fresh jalapenos, and Real Bacon bits in your pantry and fridge.  You will never go hungry.


9. Never use a dull razor, suck it up and buy a new one.


10. Black or brown eye liner only.

1. Understand you are wrong. It is a simple thing.


2. Be particularly aware of your tone of voice. If you are not capable of keeping it kind, loving, and benign, do not speak. Five days of silence can be a good thing.


3. Do not ever say “The house is a wreck.” Even if you do not mean for her to get up and clean it she is going to take it as a personal attack. Just clean it or let it go.


4. Do not take your shower before she has a chance to take her bath. Nothing will set off a berserker blood lust like a fucking luke warm bath because you had to have a hot shower first.


5. Do not eat the last cookie, piece of chocolate, or drink the last can of Coke Zero. Only woe lies there and you really do not need it nearly as badly as she does.


6. If she wants to watch BravoTV all day, that is ok. Even if it is the twenty-fifth rerun of Season 4 Project Runway. She fucking likes the fashion, leave her the hell alone. Have you no soul?


7. This is an excellent time to be the greatest Dad in the world. Take the kids to see a movie in the morning. This will totally be appreciated and when the time comes you will sooooo get laid for doing this.


8. When she says, “I love Rocky Road Ice Cream” it is code for; “If you fucking loved me at any point in our life together you would get up and go buy me some.” Suggesting she eat the ice cream you actually have in the freezer is not going to do anything but prove you are no longer deeply in love with her. She simply wants what isn’t in the freezer. If you had Rocky Road she would want Tin Roof or Caramel Turtle Fudge.


9. It is perfectly acceptable and understandable when every fourth sentence out of her mouth is, “God, my tits hurt.” They do, you insensitive bastards.


10. Finally, giggling as she constantly drops stuff, loses stuff, or huffs around talking to herself is not going to make anything better. While it might seem amusing to you and amusing to her any other time of the month, at that moment you might as well be waving a red cape at her and taunting her with a reese’s peanut butter egg. It aint cute.