Ladies… Adam Levine.  The eyes, the voice, the tattoos… THE HIP THINGIE!

The Non-Football Fan’s Guide to the World Cup or What to do When You’re Just Here for the Hot Men

It sounds like something I would write if i had actual knowledge of Soccer.

Eye-candy and some seriously funny commentary.

The writer read my mind with this advise “when in doubt about who is hot on a team, always check the goalkeeper.”

Fuck consensus. Fuck compromise and ignoring the base of people who helped get you to where you are, only to embrace somebody who will stab you in the fucking back the first chance he gets.

Amen!  Consensus is a fantasy and compromise is basically another way of saying, “yes, you can fuck me right up the ass but only if you use lube!”

I will admit a soft squishy place in my heart for Eddiebear who drops the f-bomb as often as I do and with such delightful inflections,conjugations, and compound words like: fuckbagel, fuckitude, fucktrain, fuckfisters, Spongefuckingbob Squarefuckingpants, and the soon to be famous six-nippled-fucksheep.  I have to stop now I am getting all giddy. ;)

Today was good and above that interesting. Marco Rubio owned the morning and rightfully so. He was funny, humble, and said some great things. Stating the obvious, which you all know I am a fan of.

Liz Cheney and a surprise visit from her Dad made the crowd go nuts.

I grabbed a coke and some chocolate to make it further through the day and returned to my seat just in time to see this:

Who introduced Mitt Romney. I love Mitt. There were many murmurs of “How the hell did we ever let this guy bow out in 2008? We traded this guy for McCain?” Yeah, it blows.

Dick Armey spoke earlier in the day and made me giggle. A favorite quote that has been posted other places but I will post it again!

“You’re intellectually shallow, you’re a romantic, you’re self indulgent..You’ve proven to already to be, even to the recognition to your fellow Democrats perhaps the most incompetent President perhaps in our lifetime, you have no ability, you only have talent, and your purpose is income redistribution. You methods are transparent, you create the perception of a crisis in order to be able ride to the rescue and achieve your self indulgent purposes of controlling the distribution of income in America”

I just ran down to the hotel gift shop and paid too much for a chocolate fix, that said… the funniest thing i have heard in days comes from the mouth from the very nice lady working there when I asked for a bag.  She says, “I can give you one, but this is D.C. we have to charge for bags.  5 cents. It is all the stores in this area, even the CVS!”  i was laughing… hard.

People always talk about the Hope and Change of Fuknut.  All I hear is doom, gloom, pessimism, and scolding.  You should listen to this speech if you are my age you will remember it as a child, if you are older you will remember it as literally what Hope and Change is suppose to be, if you are young and have never heard Reagan speak, then please listen to this and maybe you will understand what all of us “old folks” are so damn pissed off about.

The Left would have you believe we are all the harbingers of doom, negativity, and the unenlightened world view.  The reality?  We are all that is left of the optimism of America.  Reagan was many things, but foremost me, he was an optimist.  He believed unwaveringly in the intrinsic good of Americans and held dear faith that freedom would always win over tyranny.  The act of optimism in the face of the world he inherited is a staggering achievement.  To believe so wholeheartedly that this nation is great enough to overcome one of the worst economic times in modern history is the epitome of Hope and Change.

We live once again in a political climate where elected leaders believe they can tax us into prosperity.  I had one of those light bulb moments earlier when I was thinking about what to write here.  You know, one of those, “Well duh, jennifer” moments.  You know why they think they can tax us into prosperity?  Why they think that bloating the government is going to give us prosperity?  Well, I will tell you if you are slow on the uptake like me today. It isn’t that they are being stupid.  It isn’t that they think all this taxation and government spending is going to push us back to a robust and growing economy.  Helloooo, that isn’t what they want.  Their prosperity doesn’t include any of those things.  It  is as many more eloquent people have been saying for decades, prosperity to the Liberal mind is about dependence not independence.  It is about regulation not free markets and economies.  It is about fitting in not rising above.  Success is not judged by doing extraordinary things; success to the Liberal is celebrating mediocrity.  It is about everyone getting a trophy just for showing up, not for winning, not for excellence.  It is about providing excuses for failure instead of incentives for success.  It is about being beta not alpha. It is about nothing ever being special.

I miss special things.  I miss the celebration of special people.  Barak Obama is not fucking special!  Let me say it again in case someone out there didn’t hear me scream it.  HE. IS. NOT. FUCKING. SPECIAL!  He is average in the worst possible way.  He is not a beacon of hope unless the hope you have in your heart is to live in a world which celebrates mediocrity and being like everyone else.  Gee, I know I raise my children everyday with they hope that they will be just like all their friends.

The left revels in the creativity of Hollywood and the Arts, but when you think about it, I mean really think about it, there is an abysmal lack of creativity coming out of the so called Artistic Communities.  Movies for example, today’s blockbusters are loaded with the political apologist point of views veiled in spiffy artistic effects and bright shiny things to distract us from  the glaring message, “Americans are evil tyrants who live only to subjugate that which is different and they do not understand.”  Well, fuck you.  Seriously, go fuck yourself and the self righteous horse you rode in on.

I am sick and fucking tired of your message of doom and gloom.  The sky is falling and if we do not open our minds and our pocket books in support of the Cult of Mediocrity then we will all perish.  Again, fuck you.

This country, not the politicians, not the media, the actual country defined as the people who live in it, who pay the bills, who get up everyday and go to work, raise children, pray for strength and patience… well this country is starting to wake up.  It is rumbling and grumbling.  It is getting pissed off and the shit is going to hit the proverbial fan.  We are not the problem, we are the solution.  We are the greatness that is America, not a bunch of sheep following the shepherd of the Beta is Best Ideology.

Happy Birthday Ronnie, you were The Shit and you are greatly missed.

Approximately 55 seconds into this is proof of the mad hip thingie Mr. Cooper possesses.  In fact the split second glimpse is probably enough to make me go see the movie because where there is a split second there must be more!!!  He dethrones previous best hip thingie King David Beckham.

A girl can never have too much hip thingie.  Like guys can never get enough tits.

I watched the trailer and while I will reserve judgement on Liam as Hannibal, I will did note the guy playing Murdoch looks way too much like Owen Wilson.  So much like Owen Wilson that I think the casting guys probably reallllly wanting Owen Wilson.  He looks enough like him and in the airplane portion of the clip he even has the same vocal inflections as Owen Wilson a la Armageddon.

None of that however matters!  Cooper has mad hip thingie.  I need to start a hip thingie blog.

Lileks does some of the best tweets…

I have to do a video tomorrow on the fact that it’s cold. Next: a guide for coping with the strange inky blackness that follows “day.”

I was reading Geek Soapbox earlier and this made me giggle: Study Finds If You Have an iPhone You’re Nuts! I enjoyed the entire article but the I laughed aloud at this…

I own and adore desperately my iPhone.  Without it, I feel uncertain and anxious, as if a very part of me has been unplugged from life and I struggle to maintain focus and balance. It’s utterly ridiculous, but I guess I’m one of the people Strand Consulting is referring to when it declares that iPhone users are delusional.

OMG!  I am like a fucking junkie three hours past needing a fix when I do not have my iPhone in my hand.  It is fucking ridiculous.  It is so bad that I must actually get a “disturbed and distraught” look on my face when I am separated from my iPhone because, Sarah aka Jen’s Keeper at work seems to know what is wrong and says, “You do not have your phone, do you?”

At one point about a month ago we were all down at corporate working on a pretty intense deadline and had walked to the break room to get coffee etc.  When we returned to the office we all were piled into and working on a freakin’ briefing I suddenly realized i didn’t have my phone.  I was looking everywhere while a coworker was trying to tell me something important.  Sarah says, “You fucking cannot find your phone; just do the work I will find it!”  she starts walking and dialing the phone, listening for my freakin’ Beyonce All the Single Ladies ring-tone.  She returns like a huntress from a safari with big game to prove her might and yes… she was mighty in my eyes!

It is so pathetic that not only can I not imagine my life without my iPhone I cannot remember life BiP (Before iPhone)!   How did I function?  How did I check my mail 900 times a day?  How did I find a Starbucks while driving and desperate for coffee?  What is 411 for?  I cannot remember!  I just open Safari and google what I want and the zip code and voila!  There is the results and a number i can click and have my wonderful gadget ask me, “Call number?”  Yes yes yes, I say!

All you Apple haters out there can bite my ass and revel in the inferiority of your Windows Mobile 6 crap.  Google android?  Whatevah!  iPhone changed my life! Not sure if it is a curse or a blessing but I am so fucking happy about it, who cares?

The Meal:

My drink: “Cosmo, Vince… make it sweet.”

Appetizer: Ahi Tartare which was OUT OF THIS WORLD sorry I didn’t get a picture before the waiter mixed it up and cut up the citrus.  That is raw ahi which was sitting on a bed of diced mango.  He cut up the avocado, blood oranges, and mixed it.  It has some sort of slightly spicy chile vinegrette.  God love a good piece of sashimi grade fish.

and of course… the Warm Wedge of Saint Andres cheese. The unequaled KING OF ALL CHEESE…

Yes that is the freakin butter/fat/oil whatever that comes off the triple cream Saint Andres when it is heated.  They put some sort of herbs or something on it.  Dunno what… do not care… it is outstanding.

Entree for me was the Jonah Crab stuff tiger prawns (4).  I ate one before i took the picture, sorry.  I was hungry and feeling the cosmo.  Hubby had the Ahi steak with wasabi mashed potatoes.  The picture of that dish was super blurry but you can see part of if in the picture of the Hollandais and Asparagus.

Now… for the real reason we are at any restaurant and the aforementioned Dessert to End All Desserts…  For my birthday I got the Godiva Chocolate lava cake which they spiffied up for me, yay Wildfish!  That said, my husband ordered the Pineapple Upside Down Cake.

It’s on FIRE!

This is a scoop of Butter Pecan Ice Cream, individual pineapple upside down cake, fresh whipped cream with a caramel sauce… but wait!  They then light a boat of 151 and pour it over the top!  Ahhhhhhh.  Once the inferno is done further caramelizing the sugars what is left is a cake which according to the waiter, Vince… the pastry guy pours into ramekins that have clarified butter poured in the bottom before it is baked so when it is in the over it bubbles up and over coating everything in this amazing crunchy browned sugar goodness.  I can only say, Holy Fucking Shit!  It was a certified FOODgasm.

My lovely chocolate cake with my little birthday message was also divine.  I like richer chocolate desserts so this was mmm good. They only thing it needed was walnuts.

Yeah… we are going to hell…

I was wanting to take a picture at the table but if you haven’t been to Wildfish before you should know it is the darkest fucking place ever.  I didn’t have enough light to take a pic with my phone because the iPhone blows without a flash.  So i stood in the lady’s lounge area of the restroom and took a picture of me in that somewhat better, but not much light at the sink!  39 was much better the third time around!  My nose looks huge in this picture, but who cares?  :)

Last thing we did before she left was put my enormous bird in its salty bath.  She says it was the most disturbing thing she has ever seen done to a bird, but I told her it was worth the work.  Salt, juices, water, brown sugar, a bottle of Reisling and a bunch of herbs… how can it not be outstanding?

I am freakin’ exhausted and need a bath.  Folks are on their way here and I am quite certain I have forgotten something I need for dinner tomorrow.  Thanksfully HEB is open until 2pm tomorrow!  Did I mention I have organized kitchen cabinets?  Outstanding!  Santa will be good to Sarah this year!  Go Sarah! /end exaltation of young co-working.

Tomorrow menu:

• Turkey goodnes


• Cornbread sausage and oyster stuffing goodness


• Peas with way too much cajun rubbed on ‘em


• Green beans


• Demure Mac & Cheese aka Death by Cheese and fat


• Rice and Gravy


• Sweet Potato Balls


• Pumpkin Pie


• Caramel Apple Pie


• Kings Hawaiian Rolls if daughter no. 4 doesn’t eat them all before tomorrow

We all need to get drunk together and solve the world’s problems…

I needed brown shoes.  Yes… NEEEEED.   Plus these were like $125 last time I saw them and today they were $24 bucks yay, Jennifer!

A girl can never have enough black shoes.  This is a simple fact and these are sexy as hell.

God, I miss the 80’s and as an adult and a parent I now find this very disturbing.

Manolo says, since the government is giving away the free money to the car buyers, perhaps it is time for the shoe industry to lobby for their own subsidy.

Thus the Manolo proposes the Cash for Clogs program.

Turn in your old Croc for destruction and receive the $10 gift certificate for the purchase of the new pair of beautiful shoes.

To state in graphic terms…turn in this monstrosity…

Behold the fabulousness that is Carlos by Carlos Santana “Believe 2” heel.  This is an amazing shoe and frankly the most comfortable 4 inch stiletto I have ever owned.  I want them in black.

I wear these to work three days a week on average and get many complements on them.  Trust me, I would probably get flogged by my terminally shoe fabulous boss for wearing anything resembling a “clog” to work.  I would deserve it and thank her for it in the end.

Here is my target thingie.  The lady that was working at the place said I did very well.  They guy in the stall next to me kept look at me funny like he was either afraid or turned on or both.  When we had to take a break for them to change something out behind the targets and Dave was talking guns with these two other guys the guy looked at me says, “First time?”  I said, “Yes.”  He says, “You started with the big ones, huh?”  I am not sure how to take that.  I said, “Yes, what is the use of a small one?”  and smiled demurely, because you know… i fucking AM demure.

Below is a pic of my targets they wouldn’t let you get them what with all the cross fire and all, you know… :)

wOOt!